Childhood Sexual Abuse Makes Its Way into the National Discussion with Rosenna Bakari’s Remarkable Story

A new voice has entered the national discussion to make sure that adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse can be heard. Dr. Rosenna Bakari recently launched her remarkable memoir about living in silence along with a new We2 mission to bring survivors and listeners together. We cannot keep challenging survivors to speak without creating a safe platform for their voices to be heard. “Silence is not a quiet space.” The We2 mission asks people to identify themselves as listeners to help break the silence of survivors. Every survivor needs a listener to break the silence. One survivor plus one listener equals two people, thus, We2 is the mission.   

Along with her professional training, Rosenna speaks from experience. In Too Much Love Is Not Enough: A Memoir of Silence of Childhood Sexual Abuse, she writes with pure honesty, sensitivity, and inspiring strength. She does not focus on the events of sexual abuse. Rather, she digs into an analysis of it. Rosenna brings all of her experience and skills to the page to tell her story of resilience. She offers the insight of a practiced psychologist, uses the writing flair of a poet, and imposes the sensitive emotions of a survivor.

Talking Trees

The memoir marks her fourth book, each of which addresses women’s issues. She wrote Self-Love: Developing and Maintaining Self-Esteem for the Black Woman in 1994 while she was a stay-at-home mother. Her recent books, Tree Leaves: Breaking the Fall of the Loud Silence, and Original Sin: Understanding the Movement Toward Female Agency highlight the destruction of sexual assault to the human spirit and supports the resilience of survivors, most of which are females. The memoir stands out because of the bravery it took to lean into vulnerability so that other survivors can be heard. Her voice represents millions who have not found theirs yet.   

We were never supposed to talk about this, so we didn’t know how.

Rosenna has been supporting adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse since 2010 when she founded her nonprofit organization, Talking Trees. The organization supports survivors no matter where they are on the healing path, but encourages survivors of childhood sexual abuse and incest to live openly to heal. Secrets are not healthy in any way, so the organization reaches out to survivors around the world. Rosenna founded the organization as an online community, and in 2014 established Talking Trees, Inc. as a 501c3 nonprofit organization.

She also established April 15 as Safe Space Day.        

We Must Have Safe Spaces

Safe Space Day is a day to recognize and celebrate the resilience of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and incest. Survivors around the world are encouraged to hold or attend a public event which recognizes and addresses healing issues and celebrate how far they have come on the healing path. Talking Trees holds an annual Safe Space Day Conference.

Bakari states:

Having a day for adult survivors is a statement about our willingness to live openly. We know the freedom that comes when we let go of the fear of our experience and honor the capacity of our strength. We celebrate our choice to stop hiding, running away and avoiding. We stand with other survivors who are walking in their truth when we celebrate face-to-face.

Rosenna is “shifting the paradigm and changing the narrative” to empower survivors to live boldly, without shame. She is challenging the paradigm that subjugates and silence women. She sees herself as a role-model for women whose life experiences have been steeped in challenges of oppression, including race, gender, and sexual violence. She dedicates her life to helping them find and build resilience.

Empowering Lit

Writing and publishing empowering literature is a major platform for her. The memoir is an important book for every woman to have in her collection, whether she is a survivor or not. We all know many survivors and the book is a way to begin to understand the horrible effects of childhood trauma. Saying that survivors matter with our mouth is not enough. We must say it with our money. We can all invest $15 in a mission so that survivors can be heard. We can also recognize a real life hero in Rosenna by making sure a ton of books get sold. Everyone can do something, buying a book is a good place to start to make a difference.

Rosenna Bakari earned her Ph.D. in educational psychology from the University of Northern Colorado, an M.S. in counseling from the State University of New York, and a B.S. in psychology from Cornell University. She has taught psychology at community college, private and state universities. She consults with businesses and organizations about creating safe space for a functional work environment. She also accepts speaking engagements to discuss her book or perform poetry. She holds an unpublished poetry collection of over 150 poems and is a spoken word artist. She lives in Colorado Springs with her husband.

10 Tips To Support the We2 Mission

1. Spread the word by posting on social media using the hashtag (#We2). Also, ask people if they have heard of the mission then direct them to “TalkingTreesSurvivors.com.”
2. Buy multiple copies of the book, one for yourself and one to give away. High-volume sales send an important message that we are breaking the silence.
3. Initiate conversations about creating safe spaces. Don’t always wait for the conversation to come to you.
4. Ask programs that help children to have a program component that empowers parents as well. Make sure adults are okay, not just children.
5. During holidays, check in with survivors you know. Holidays can be difficult for the many survivors who have to distance themselves from their family.
6. Ask about procedures for addressing disclosures at your workplace. Schedule a consult with Rosenna if there are no procedures.
7. Help survivors censor the environment to avoid triggers.
8. Be an open champion for consent. Affirm the right to bodily autonomy and support survivors who are not ready to have intimate relationships.
9. Support whatever path the survivor takes to heal. Therapy, pressing charges, living openly, and other lifestyle choices must be determined by the survivor. Don’t try to fix them.
10. Help keep physical distance between known violators and survivors.

10 Responses That Can Improve The Outcome of Disclosure

1. Are you okay?
2. Have you talked to many people about it?
3. Where do you feel you are on the healing path?
4. Is there anything in particular that you want me to keep in mind to support you?
5. Do you have support from other survivors?
6. What do you do to take care of yourself?
7. Have you ever told anyone in your family?
8. Do you ever have to see the person who violated you?
9. How does it feel to talk about the abuse?
10. Do you feel safe now?