3 Ways Black Women Can Protect Themselves When a Relationship Turns Abusive

If you are engaged in an abusive connection, falling in love can transform into worrying for yourself. It’s common when you’re in an abusive relationship to not know what to do.

Very often, staying in a relationship can feel like it’s the only option, but there are other things you can do to help yourself.

Here are three methods of protection you can use as a Black woman if you find yourself in an abusive relationship.

Get Help from People Who Get You

Escaping an abusive relationship begins with finding refuge in a place you can feel protected. For Black women, this can mean reaching out to an Afrocentric support center or organization that caters specifically to Black women, like The Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community (IDVAAC).

These centers can focus more specifically on your needs as a Black woman. If an Afrocentric support center is not readily available, you should contact your local domestic violence shelter. Both can help you find resources to help you find refuge from your bad situation.

Find a time and location when you feel safe to call. Explain exactly what has been happening and listen to whatever advice you’re given, such as coming to stay at a shelter. You may feel iffy about leaving your current environment, but you should know that staying in such a situation could be highly dangerous.

Get the Law on Your Side

Talking to the police can be difficult for Black women, especially if you have had traumatic encounters with law enforcement. However, getting an order of protection or a restraining order could be lifesaving.

Having a clear understanding of what you are expected to prove to have a restraining order granted increases the likelihood of successfully presenting a case and obtaining the protection you deserve.

Provide evidence such as bruises, cuts, or any other bodily harm you’ve endured. Threatening text messages and voicemails can also help your case. You need to do all you can so that your abuser cannot get anywhere remotely close to you.

In the event that your abuser charged and placed in jail, you can also take advantage of record searches. These searches allow victims to keep track of inmates. Even if you have a restraining order, knowing when the abuser will be released can help you plan ahead and give you peace of mind.

Don’t Blame Yourself

Undergoing abuse, both physical and emotional, can cause Black women to see themselves as being responsible for their mistreatment. They can become withdrawn and even suicidal. Letting yourself subscribe to these beliefs can put you in harm’s way even more. It’s not something that can just be wished away either.

To deal with the mental trauma caused by abuse, you need to receive professional help. Look for therapists who deal with domestic violence. Set up an appointment with one and be aware that this kind of recovery takes time and that you should go at your own pace. And remember, no matter what people say, it’s not your fault that the abuse happened. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. You are a strong survivor, and you have the power to tell your own story.

Choosing to stay in an abusive relationship without looking for other options can put Black women in even greater danger. No one wants to be mistreated, but people don’t always know where to turn.

Just remember, there are people and places you can reach out to that will help keep you safe and begin the process of healing.