How To Co-Parent Like a Boss

Co-parenting isn’t easy. You have to carefully watch over children as usual, but in many cases, you are doing so alone. On top of that, you have to work with an ex-spouse or ex-partner that you have significant disagreements with.

All is not lost, however. You can still find ways to make co-parenting work—even if aspects of it are still difficult.

Keep the Kids Out of the Fight

Your children don’t need to know everything that is going on. While you may be tempted to complain about their other co-parent, this can divide your kids’ loyalty between the two parents, making the arrangement unpleasant for everyone.

Instead, you must act as positively as you can around their visits with your ex-partner.

Keeping them out of the fight can be easy for younger children, but older kids pry for information about your separation.

Tell them, for everyone’s benefit, that you shouldn’t say anything at the moment. Once they become more independent and responsible, you can give them details about your past situation.

Focus on Your Children

Remember why you are co-parenting in the first place: for your kids! Your children should be the focus of your life. Your decision to separate from your spouse should have positive consequences.

Rather than spending your time with them moping about your relationship problems, focus on making the most of your time together.

While you may be the “full-time” parent that has the kids more often, always try to do something fun with them.

Otherwise, they may only associate positive memories with your ex-spouse—further damaging your potential to have a healthy relationship with them.

You might be in a stressful circumstance, but don’t let that stop you from being a good parent.

Consider Mediation or Out of Court Settlements

If you aren’t expecting that things between you and your former partner will get better anytime soon, divorce is your priority.

However, some divorce lawsuits can drag out into months of testimony that don’t end. This time waiting for a verdict can be painful and put a lot of strain on your children.

Mediation and out-of-court settlements may be your preferred solution. Choosing one of these options can help speed up the divorce process and prevent your kids from feeling forced to choose a side during court proceedings.

It makes things simpler for everyone.

Improve Communication

Improving the method by which you communicate with others can also help you in the long run. Most disagreements occur when one person has an expectation that isn’t met.

While some of these arguments may be perfectly reasonable, they still cause hurt feelings and irritations that may boil over into worse fights.

If you want to be civil with your co-parent, make sure you communicate with them as clearly as you can. They can then make the conscious decision to listen to your instruction. If they don’t, then that is a different problem that is not on you.

At the end of the day, being a co-parent is not easy, but it can be made a little bit more manageable through these steps. You can feel more confident in yourself, enjoy parenting, and do it all like a boss!

---

Read this next: Black Women Lawyers Offering Business, Criminal, Civil, and Family Legal Solutions