Multi-ethnic group of young women: African, Asian, Indian and Caucasian.

Men don’t smile all day. Why should we?

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I’m only smiling for the camera. Happy I am not.

 

After an SMH and eye roll worthy real-life experience I took to Facebook and asked:

Men: Does it usually “work” when the first words you say to a woman are – “Why you look so mean? Smile!” ? feeling curious.

It doesn’t matter if you want to “get with” a woman or not, though I’m sure had I given him the time of day he would of tried to get with me and let’s be real, men only say this to women they find attractive or want to get to know better.

Approaching a woman, especially one you don’t know, this way is rude. It comes off as controlling. Just because a women is not smiling doesn’t mean she’s got issues in that moment. Then again, maybe she doesn’t have anything to smile about at that moment either.

Men don’t walk around with a smile on their face all day. Why should we? None of us lives in a world worthy of smiles all day every day.

A smile or lack of one is really not the issue here. It’s like Brian said in an earlier Facebook comment: social skills.

Just say hello or ask how I am instead of putting an emotion on me before you know anything about me. If you think I look unhappy, try to cheer me up. That’s the least you can do. Say something nice. Starting a conversation with a negative is a turn off. Like they say: keep it simple, stupid.

I’m just telling you how I feel about it, but based on many of the responses, I’m not the only women who does not like it and it’s one of those lines that has been passed on from generation to generation.

I can remember my mom complaining about this ages ago when I was a child. It must die. Stop saying it to women. We don’t like or appreciate it.

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Submit Your Story: Are YOU a Dangerous Black Woman?

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“Keep it Dangerous!” means being the best at whatever you choose to do in life while holding fast to your personal beliefs as you move forward in a positive direction.

Real letter sent to Dangerous Lee:

I see that you have a brand and that you are doing great works with your website and public outreach. However, I was introduced to you today via HARO , asking for “Dangerous Black Women”. It made my heart sink because the media portrays black women as trouble makers, problems and such. And, if you look at the scale of how people view human beings, they often equate black women as the lowest form. This is what I gather from many years of women’s and equality studies, including black history, racism, abelism, capitalism, Islam, Judaism, et al. It is obvious that you put a lot of time and thought into your work and I don’t want to take that away from you, but please consider what I have said because on the top of the pile seem to be white men, on the bottom – black women, where women that are middle eastern or Asian are seemingly above us and treated better. So as far as your brand goes, I am going to be candid and ask you to consider changing it because you are so talented and put a lot of thought to everything you do. It’s just that the continued consequences of how the media portrays black women make things worse not better.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.

Best, Christine

Aside from the fact that Christine does not understand the context in which I use the word “Dangerous” and she didn’t bother to do any further research before sending the above message, she has some great points and speaks the truth. Black women are portrayed negatively more often than not in media and in the world in general and as a Black woman running a media network I am going to continue to help change the perception to a realistic one.

The Dangerous Lee News & Entertainment Network will feature Black women, like you, from all over the world that want to share their stories of success and struggle.

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Donna Mae DePola – Founder

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Name and Occupation?

Donna Mae DePola, Founder The Resource Training Center and The Resource Counseling Center


What do you love most about being a woman?
What I love most about being a woman, is that women can be ourselves at all times.  Our emotional being and feelings.  We are caretakers and women tend to fix things within other people’s hearts.  

What do you hate about being a woman?

That sometimes women don’t protect and respect each other.  Women can be overly critical about one another and judge women by the way they talk, dress or behave, rather than defend their right to do so.

Who or what influences you?

Besides, Oprah?  Powerful women who have made it in life, who may have struggled or may have been victims.  It is so wonderful to see a person who has been troubled, overcome their demons & come out of the shadows to helps others.  

Tell us something about you that would surprise us:

That in spite of my life I hold no animosity, nor am I a victim, but a survivor.  I don’t blame others for what I am responsible for, and take responsibility for my own life. I hope to continue to live by power of example for others who have survived what I have survived. 

 

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Sheela Sheena Langeberg – Multi Disciplinary Artist & Small Business Owner

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Name and Occupation?

Sheela Sheena Langeberg – A Multi Disciplinary Artist & Small Business Owner

What do you love most about being a woman?

I love being a woman because there’s nothing like it in the whole wide world. The fact that there’s this special beauty and humbleness that’s only granted to women, being it either physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually is really amazing! To me, being a woman means having a lot of abilities, cleverness, smartness, sharpness and swiftness.

Women are sacred. They have this power that’s only associated with their gender that can never be copied or altered. Women can be gentle and vulnerable and yet, they have an incredible strength, patience and tolerance. They are quick thinkers and multitaskers. Women are wise, sensitive and at times dangerous. To be able to carry a life inside you and give birth to another human being and be part of God’s all creation’s scheme is pretty magical!

I’m never attracted to women romantically, but I think women are sexy and attractive. My mother and the women in her family for example, are incredibly sexy and attractive. l love being a woman because womanhood is captivating, hilariously entertaining and spellbinding. As a woman I’m intuitive and connected to things and situations around me for most of the time. I’m also connected to the planets as well as the cosmos. I’m a woman, mother, sister and friend. I’m a leader, happy and free.

What do you hate about being a woman?

If I had power or an alternative, I’d abolish the monthly periods. I hate having them every month!

Who or what influences you?

I’m very much influenced by my mighty mother and the village women.

Tell us something about you that would surprise us: 

Some people think I’m extraordinaire. Some say I’m a genius. I have to just laugh.

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Barbara Corrado Pope – Fiction Writer

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Name & Occupation:

Barbara Corrado Pope, fiction writer Professor Emerita, Women’s and Gender Studies, University of Oregon

What do I love about being a woman?

That I am living at a time and place that I can do anything that men can do. I have had an opportunity (as a historian) to see what women have achieved in the past and to inform others. I consider the ability to bear a child (and to choose when to have one) the special gift of womanhood in the late 20th- and early 21st- century. I also treasure my relationship with other women.

What don’t you like about being a woman?

That appearances matter so much. This is where men are SO MUCH luckier!

Who or  what influences you?

I’m more influenced by people around me, those I know, than by any “famous” person. I look at my friends and intimates, what they do, how kindly or graciously they do it, what they have achieved, and try to live up
to them as a friend, mother, partner, and daughter.

Something that would shock people?

I’m really boring! On the outside I seem quite practical and rational, part of my having been an administrator as well as a teacher/advisor. On the inside, I am a dreamer and a day-dreamer–but sorry, not going to tell you any more about that—not now!

Anything else you’d like to add?

I have  taught history and women’s studies in places as diverse as Hungary, Tuscany, the University of New Mexico, and Harvard Divinity School. Her longest period was at the University of Oregon, where she was the founding director of women’s studies. She is the author of Cézanne’s Quarry and The Blood of Lorraine, also featuring Bernard Martin and lives in Eugene, Oregon.

www.BarbaraCpope.com

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Sara-Jane Brocklehurst – Diversity Consultant

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Name and Occupation:

Sara-Jane Brocklehurst , Self-employed as a Consultant specializing in diversity but spent the last two years being a modern day explorer traveling the world

 

What do you love about being a woman?

I love being strong and fearless but soft and feminine. I love being nurturing and caring and being able to give someone lots of love. I love my female body and how well it has held up to the test of time.

 

What do you hate about being a woman?

I hate the gender biases that occur from an occupational standpoint. I hate that people expect that you should have children just because you can. I hate that the media makes us feel bad about getting wrinkles and aging gracefully and that we are no good to anyone as we age since society seems to value young women over older women.

 

Something about you that would shock people?

That I spent 5 years building my own house – 80% all on my own – swinging the hammer myself. But did it in style wearing pearls the whole time! 🙂 I also have shocked people when I tell them how I survived being crushed by a log which broke 10 ribs, punctured a lung, blew out my knee and dislocated my clavicle – but fully recovered and am as strong as before!

You can find out more about me from the blog I have kept since I started traveling the world at www.sarajanespersonalodyssey.ca

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Vannessa Wade – PR Specialist

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Name and Occupation:
Vannessa Wade PR Specialist

What do you love about being a woman?
The ability to multitask and inspire women to be bold and fierce while still being a woman. The undeniable mark I get to make in the community and business world while juggling three or four other things.

What do you hate about being a woman?
I think it falls under the way women are portrayed as either helpless, needy, sex object or a hard nose. In reality women know how to stick together and how to get things going. We aren’t always at one another throats and we certainly know how to support one another visions. Despite what is shown on TV and in songs we don’t all behave the same way.

Who influences you?
People who decide to live their lives without regret. Women and men who see opportunities and help others reach their goals.I am influenced by women who have been knocked down, stepped on and still made a choice to get up and receive the good that life has to offer. Those who have the courage to start over even when it is embarrassing. I am influenced by women who own who they are and are happy in their own skin.

Something about you that would surprise people?
I know the lyrics to Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems by Biggie and Diddy.

Anything else you`d like to add?
It is time for sisterhood! Not constant fights and I am better than you type of shows. But real and transparent relationships. My best friends have seen me at my best ( money, clothing, etc) and my worse (extreme sickness and depression) they respect me and boost me up even on my worst day.

Also, in in 2010 I had a major Sickle Cell Crisis that nearly resulted in death. I was unable to walk for weeks and the crisis did extensive damage to the nerves in my legs. As women we have to accept life as it happens and learn to adjust without losing faith in ourselves. Now, I share my stories with students and others about how to bonce back when life does not play out the way we think it should.

www.connectthedotspr.com

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Jenny Lynn Anderson – Author & Inspirational Speaker

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Name and Occupation:
Jenny Lynn Anderson Author and Inspirational Speaker “Room 939: 15 Minutes of Horror, 20 Years of Healing”

What do you love about being a woman?
Women are smart. We use our brains. We are resourceful, creative and can multi-task.

What do you hate about being a woman?
I hate that women are vulnerable and are violated. I was sexually assaulted and robbed at knifepoint while on a business trip in a downtown Atlanta hotel. I now speak to any audience who might learn from my horrific experience.

Who influences you?
My mother, Judge Faye Sanders Martin, influenced me most. She was a pioneer in law in Georgia–the first woman lawyer in Bulloch County and the first woman in the state of Georgia to be appointed Superior Court Judge by a Governor. I like Oprah too. I tend to like any woman who has overcome the odds and come out on the other side a powerful person.

Something about you that would surprise people?
I can cook peas, corn, rice, roast beef and gravy in 30 minutes. I can cook under pressure because I own a pressure cooker.

Anything else you`d like to add?
I am a survivor. I want to be a voice to end violence against women. I want to be a voice for those who cannot break their silence. I want to use my voice to help save lifes.

www.jennylynnanderson.com

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