Men don’t smile all day. Why should we?

smile

I’m only smiling for the camera. Happy I am not.

 

After an SMH and eye roll worthy real-life experience I took to Facebook and asked:

Men: Does it usually “work” when the first words you say to a woman are – “Why you look so mean? Smile!” ? feeling curious.

It doesn’t matter if you want to “get with” a woman or not, though I’m sure had I given him the time of day he would of tried to get with me and let’s be real, men only say this to women they find attractive or want to get to know better.

Approaching a woman, especially one you don’t know, this way is rude. It comes off as controlling. Just because a women is not smiling doesn’t mean she’s got issues in that moment. Then again, maybe she doesn’t have anything to smile about at that moment either.

Men don’t walk around with a smile on their face all day. Why should we? None of us lives in a world worthy of smiles all day every day.

A smile or lack of one is really not the issue here. It’s like Brian said in an earlier Facebook comment: social skills.

Just say hello or ask how I am instead of putting an emotion on me before you know anything about me. If you think I look unhappy, try to cheer me up. That’s the least you can do. Say something nice. Starting a conversation with a negative is a turn off. Like they say: keep it simple, stupid.

I’m just telling you how I feel about it, but based on many of the responses, I’m not the only women who does not like it and it’s one of those lines that has been passed on from generation to generation.

I can remember my mom complaining about this ages ago when I was a child. It must die. Stop saying it to women. We don’t like or appreciate it.

StopTellingWomenToSmile.com

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Women’s History Month Spotlight: Ka Rae’ N. Carey

Name and occupation:

My name is Ka Rae’ N. Carey. My occupations are wife, daughter, friend, stepmother, licensed professional counselor and clinical addictions specialist

What do you love most about being a woman?

I love the flexibility and freedom being a woman affords me to be creative on a daily basis with my appearance. I can choose long pants, short pants, long skirts, short skirts, make up, no make up, and the hair possibilities are endless!

Have you had to deal with much sexism in your industry?

The helping profession is female  dominated so there is not much sexism to encounter in the profession.

Do you belong to any organizations catered to women business owners?

I am a member of the National Association of Professional Women, and the Women’s Business Center in Durham, NC.

Who or what inspires you most?

I am inspired most by my mother and husband. My mother inspires me with her  remarkable ability to make miracles with minimal resources, and never ending confidence in me. My husband inspires me with his awesome gift of calm in any storm, and the ability to help people see the positive side in the most dire of circumstances.

Something about you that would surprise us:

At Work: In my clinical practice I have three “co-therapists”, two turtles and a hamster! They do a great job in helping my younger clients talk about “tough stuff”.

When I am not at Work: I have endless energy when I am dancing. I am an avid dancer with talent in many varying styles including Latin, ballroom, and urban styles. 

Advice for women entrepreneurs:  

I would advise them to not be afraid to follow their dreams and to surround themselves with people who will support their dreams.

Website and social media links:

 

Women’s History Month Spotlight: Michelle Panzironi

Name and occupation:

Michelle Panzironi – COO and Co-Founder of Phrase Media, LLC and hypetree.com

What do you love most about being a woman?

I love that no matter what job I’m at, I’ll always have the unique perspective that being a woman in business affords me.  When I was younger I trained in martial arts and I used to languish at being the only girl on my level, worrying that I was being left out or unfairly scrutinized.  But that experience taught me that being the odd-girl-out gives you the unique opportunity to shine apart from the others and distinguish yourself – as long as you see it as an opportunity and not a handicap.  When you’re a woman in a man’s sport, you stand out and everyone pays closer attention to what you do.  But when you succeed at your goals, everyone takes notice and, most of the time, your male counterparts are just glad to have you on their team.

I find that being in this position helps me relate better to the women I work with.  There’s a solidarity that’s involved in bucking your gender role and striving to be recognized for your individual achievements, rather than just be a support-beam for the men around you.

Have you had to deal with much sexism in your industry?

In the internet, haven’t really had any major encounters with sexism since I got involved back in 2009.  My first job was at a website with two female founders and, as I’ve extended my résumé and personal network from there, I’ve found that most of the men I work with seem to be part of the newer generation in their thinking about gender.  Most of the guys have close female friends and just see you as another co-worker.  I’ve since worked under a number of female founders and executives and I’ve taken that experience with me to hypetree.com.  My two male co-founders and I have several talented females working for us, whom we consider both valued resources and good friends.

Who or what inspires you most?

My parents and my family history inspire me to push everyday at what I’m doing.  My parents worked so hard throughout my childhood to provide for me so I could do anything that I wanted to in life.  My mother comes from a long line of business-owners and entrepreneurs and my father comes from carpenters and artists.  I consider it my path to continue their legacy of enterprise and creativity.   I strive to bring new ideas to fruition so that I can create opportunities for others, as they did for me.

Something about you that would surprise us:

I’m only 21 years old and I’ve already worked in the marketing departments of 4 different websites.  Also, as I mentioned before, I trained in martial arts and have earned my 3rd Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do.  For reference, I’m 4’11”.

Advice for women entrepreneurs:

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  There may be people who try to put you down or make you feel less-than because of your gender.  But you have to remember that the only person who can stop you from reaching your goals is you.  Respect yourself and you will get respect from others.

Also, don’t wait for a man to stand up for you when you’re being ignored.  Being on the other side of the gender divide, they often fail to notice.  Always be standing up on your own two feet.

Website and social media links:

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Women’s History Month Spotlight: Shobha Tummala

Name and occupation:

Shobha Tummala

Entrepreneur – Founder & CEO of Shobha

What do you love most about being a woman?

I love that I can be both strong and soft at the same time which I attribute to my female ‘super powers’ —  innate compassion for others  and the ability to multi-task.

Have you had to deal with much sexism in your industry?

I’ve been very lucky when it comes to dealing with sexism, and really haven’t had to deal with much of it. However, I am aware of certain situations in which sexism is known to rear its ugly head – like raising money and selling companies. Those are the type of situations in which people say that women run into sexism.  Occasionally, I’ve experienced sexism during our construction projects when we build out our salon spaces, but now that we have done so many, I am familiar with the industry lingo and know what I am doing, so the guys get over it pretty quickly.

Do you belong to any organizations catered to women business owners?

I don’t belong to any specific organizations that are women centric. However, I do have a bunch of informal networks of women that we get together exchange ideas, get support and discuss issues. 

Who or what inspires you most?

Both my grandfathers inspire me the most. They educated themselves, built businesses, and went against the grain of the family to achieve it all. I am so proud of them. They forged their own paths and that is so incredibly inspiring to me. 

Something about you that would surprise us:

My family and I, including my very active and inquisitive two year old son, reside in Maryland, while my other babies – my three salons and product line live in New York, along with my team.

Advice for women entrepreneurs:

1. Believe in Your Brand: In terms of creating a brand – or more specifically her brand – Shobha knew exactly what she wanted it to be. She was creating her brand based on her needs and personal pet peeves. Tummala says, “You have to believe and be passionate about it before others can believe in it.” In fact, when she first opened Shobha, Tummala was the receptionist in the salon, so she got a chance to not only get to know the clients, but bond with them. Tummala says, “It was probably one of the most enjoyable times in my life because I got to see every day what worked and what didn’t in a very direct way.”

2. Trust Your Gut: Tummala says, “For aspiring entrepreneurs, I can only speak from my own experience, and the one tip I can offer is to trust your gut.” She continues by saying, “You can do a ton of research and analysis, but when it comes to making the ultimate decision, it has to feel good, not only to me, but to my team and our clients.” Being an entrepreneur is challenging, but that’s partly why she does it – Shobha has the ability to right a wrong, change lives, and change the game of an industry!

3. It’s OK to Ask for Help: When thinking about the advice she would give to her young self, Tummala says, “I would tell myself to bring in more people to help me at the very beginning. I was in the business doing everything for almost 3 years before I really brought people in to help me. I was so afraid of failure that I never invested in the company or myself really early on. I wish I had.” It would have made those early years much more enjoyable for Tummala. She says, “Hindsight is always 20/20, but now I understand why they say experience matters. If I started a company, I would go about it very differently in some ways than I did back then.”

Website and social media links:

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Women’s History Month Spotlight: Bleau Royale

Name: 

Bleau Royale

What do you love most about being a woman?  

What I love most about being a woman is the ability to be soft and sweet or hard and tough as nails when the situation calls for it.  Women are extremely underestimated and it’s nice to surprise people with how strong, smart, or excellent you are at something you do.                                                       

Have you had to deal with much sexism in your industry? 

I have never had to deal with the issue of sexism.  If I were ever approached with the issue I’d be ready.  I love a good challenge any day, and having to show my capabilities to operate within a certain capacity or field wouldn’t be hard to prove.

Do you belong to any organizations catered to women business owners? 

I am currently in process of joining NAWBOLA (National Association Of Women Business Owners).

Who or what inspires you most?

What inspires me the most is God, my children, and my struggles.  Life hasn’t been easy for me by far.  It has made me stronger than I could ever imagine I would be.  God has been and will always be the pillar of my first strength and my children give me my second wind.  Strong will and perseverance run through my blood inspiring me to accomplish nothing but greatness.

Something about you that would surprise us: 

I’d have to say my imagination will surprise you.  My imagination surprises me at times!

Advice for women entrepreneurs:

The advice I have for women entrepreneurs is they must have a lot of confidence, knowledge, and a tremendous amount of faith in God.  They are in a leadership position regardless of their particular station within their organization. Each leader contributes to the success of a company which is only one reason you need to be confident. There are many aspects to leadership, confidence, faith, and improving in all areas. Your success in a leadership role depends heavily on your knowledge of your organization. The knowledge of your organization is imperative to function and efficiency. 

Many of the everyday aspects of business life will impact your confidence building ability. Success is within your grasp, all you need to do is reach out and grab it by increasing your sense of good business practices to manage your success in every aspect of your job.

The first thing that needs to be is realized is that all of the different parts of business are separate. This is also a fact for the rest of the company. Your business is influenced by many influences as a whole as well as separately. Whether or not you realize it you can draw confidence from the success of others as a company as well as individually. 

I highly encourage women not to dismiss prayer as something that will help them build their own confidence. Vision comes before any desire and dream. If there is no vision of what you desire and dream about having you will never succeed.  You will quickly see that there are hurdles in every business, and prayer will definitely help you jump over them. Stay focused and do not give up on what you desire or dream of. Clear one obstacle at a time, don’t give up, and you will learn to achieve the confidence levels you so desire, and operate within your full potential.

Website:

www.bleauroyale.com

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