women-and-money

Why It Makes Perfect Sense To Want A Man With Money

Couple counting moneyI’m broke. Poor to be exact. I make less than $10,000 a year. A lot less actually. And, I have bad credit. Why would I want a man that is doing just as bad as I am or slightly better with no current plans or hopes of things looking up? Money is not the most important quality in a man. In fact it’s not even a quality (is it?), but you know what I mean.

For instance, there is a man, an old and good friend of mine, who was interested in seriously dating me but he does not have his own home or apartment, has a mediocre job, he pays child support for one child and he cannot afford to save a damn dime. And, that’s just what I know to be true about his financial status. I’m sure it’s worse.

Let’s forget that I am not into him at all romantically for a sec, but what if I was? As a woman in her late 30’s with a child of my own to take care of I cannot and will not entertain seriously dating a man that is struggling financially. It does not make sense, especially in this day and age. Sex, I would entertain if I was sexually attracted to him, but anything other than that is off the table, permanently. However, sexual relationships get old quickly. At least for me.

I’m sure 100% of women, if asked, would say that they want a man with money and rightfully so. Not just any man with money. Of course he has to have things like integrity, drive, personality, good looks and even a nice ass, but financial security is a must when looking for a serious long term relationship. Why? Because things cost. It costs to live and enjoy life. Bills have to be paid. A legacy has to be built and that cannot be done when one or both persons is poor. Besides, according to traditional values (which I don’t usually give a shit about), the man is supposed to be the head of the household, the breadwinner.

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For the record, not all woman who want a man with money are gold diggers. Smart people know the difference.

Also Read: Attention Ladies – 5 Ways Men Spot Gold Diggers

Now, you may be saying – “A man doesn’t want a broke woman either.” You may be right. That’s fair. Though I’m sure that most well to do men are more than okay with their woman making less than them. It’s an ego thing. A man thing. I’m OK with that.

Don’t get me wrong, if the woman is poor, lazy, has no drive and no plans on how to become financially stable, there is a problem. However, if it’s a woman like me or a woman who is also financially stable I’m sure a man can work with that.

I have a college education, ambition, goals, plans and I own a business, but it is not a successful business, in my eyes. Success for me would be generating a stable income for myself and my child where I would never have to skip paying my Consumers bill (or any bill for that matter) and I would not be driving around in a raggedy ass ’97 Escort for going on two years now without car insurance and tags. It’s a damn shame.

If I met a man I really liked who just happened to be a well off business man or a well off garbage man, take your pick, we could build a legacy together. Meaning he could invest in my business or perhaps we could build an entirely new business together. We could pool our talents and help each other.

As I type this I am thinking that it would be great to have an angel investor, male or female, but those are harder to come by than a viable significant other these days.

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Tiarra Currie – Graduate Student, Residential Counselor & Respite Worker

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Name & Occupation:

Tiarra Currie, Graduate Student at Columbia University Teachers College, Residential Counselor at GEMS, and Respite Worker for the Bendel Youth Empowerment Program

What do you love about being a woman?

I love the struggle of a woman and how complex we are.  We are resilient. There is no simple way to explain us. We have certain strengths that we gain through our experiences that we don’t even understand. A woman is multitasked; we are mothers, wives and girlfriends, daughters, entrepreneurs, and scholars. We are irreplaceable. Looking back through my journey I have been hurt, lied to, abandoned, disrespected, talked about badly, and failed but I don’t live there and a stranger looking at me would never know.  We as woman endure these pains as they drive us to keep going.

What do you hate about being a woman?

I hate that we are so emotional. I cry about everything and many times I don’t even know why. I over think everything. I hate that we have been socialized to be nurturers and we put everyone else before our own well being. I don’t want to be 40 and not know what makes me happy because I spent my life making everyone else happy.

Who or what inspires you?

Love inspires me. I love love. I have learned so much about myself from being in love. I found who I am supposed to be because I was able to be vulnerable with people who mean the world to me. The who that inspires me is my family. I wake up and feel like I am their prayers answered. In everything I do, I am pushing to make history and give my family everything they never got to see because they made sacrifices for my life.

Tell us something about yourself that would surprise us!

I don’t own any flats. I cannot concentrate if I do not have on heels. Heels are a part of my life. It is my signature. People know me for always wearing heels. I feel most comfortable with them on. It’s kind of a metaphor for my life. In every strut I take, I own my purpose.

about.me/tiarra.currie

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Kristin Pedderson – CEO & Owner of Big Fuss Records Inc.

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Name and Occupation: 

Kristin Pedderson
CEO/Owner Big Fuss Records Inc.
Artist/Producer/Performer/Musician

 
What do you love about being a woman? 

I love my curvy shape and love to wear beautiful high quality classic clothes that incorporate rich colors and fine fabrics.  I love to cook and I love my home.  I love curling my hair.

I am old fashion. I grew up with two brothers, and my closest friends were often men.  I gravitate toward men and enjoy the two way comfort and encouragement I experience with men in my life. I love my sexuality.  It’s about love and friendship. I love the way it feels to be protected and looked after by an emotionally open man who is also physically strong.  I feel like a total woman when he cares for me, and I love caring for a masculine and sturdy man as the capable woman I am.  Dynamic, loving and encouraging, I love having gal pals to spend time with, sharing and supporting each other in friendship.  I love that I can be my own person. A woman who is a leader that is smart, strong and sexy, and still feminine and soft inside and out, sometimes weak and needing compassion and covering.

I’ve learned to love the skin I’m in and most of all my loving heart. I even love the emotion I feel as a woman; the tears that often flow with the ups and downs in life. A famous singer once said that “love is understanding”, I love understanding and as a woman I feel naturally inclined toward this.

What do you hate about being a woman? 

I hate that woman make 60-70% on the dollar to what a man makes when it comes to professional employment and income.  I believe woman should be paid according to their work ethic. Gender should not influence the ability for a woman to get promoted or an equal rate of pay for a similar position.

I hate that some men appear to be intimidated by a strong woman who thinks for herself. I have met men who believe a woman who is a leader and runs her own business and household, can be a ball breaker of sorts, and difficult to get along with. I feel that this is untrue and stems from insecurity.  I believe both sexes are endowed with understanding and when a person is strong, they are weak too. We have all sides.  The strongest men can appreciate a woman’s strength and prefer to lift up.  Not put down. I believe in Christ principles of service to one another. It takes a strong man to admit he’s wrong at times and to serve LOVE over ego. It takes a strong woman to do the same and I believe this to be the answer for equality.

Something about you that would shock people?

For most of my life I have been polyamorous. (Pertaining to multiple and simultaneous loving relationships) I am very selective about who I, let in, get close to and trust.  For me love takes time. When I had my spiritual awakening twenty three years ago, I felt a knowing in my spirit to “Practice Non-Attachment”. I felt this was an essential word for me because I saw so much divorce, abandonment and short term love around me, and in my life, prior to awakening. I felt an understanding of this path would be the highest good for me.  I trusted all my needs for LOVE would be met.  (I also have/had a big dream of rock and roll music on my heart, which seemed a lot like TRUE LOVE)

As a guru, I thought OK; but does this mean I must live without love, sex and intimacy?  I walked on, and in the past years I have been more free and whole than ever. Perhaps I have not met “One” individual love yet; a man who walks in integrity and equality with me. Perhaps he will appear at an opportune time, but for now, my life already knows lasting love. It comes in more than one individual.

www.misskristin.com

www.bigfussrecords.com

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Tone Trezure – Singer, Artist, Musician & Composer

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Name and Occupation:

Latonya G. Givens aka Tone Trezure.  I am an singer/artist/ musician and composer.
 
What do you love about being a woman?

What I love about being a woman is that we hold the keys to any or everything in this world.  We have the power to heal, to nurture to sculpt minds.  The first voice a child hears is it’s mothers. We have the power to make or break souls.

What do you hate about being a woman?

What is there truly to hate about being a woman?   I am provided the same opportunities as men and I have more weapons to win the world over.  These long lashes, my beautiful brown eyes, my curvy hips, my big lips… a brain the size of Mt. Rushmore with a imagination that won’t stop.  I love being a woman.  I love the fact that I can mind-f@ck just about anyone if they let me.  Hypnotizing…
 
Something about you that would shock people?

Something about me that would shock people is that I wanted to be a Country and Western singer when I was growing up.  I love storytelling and no one tells a story like a good soul from the country.

 

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Tina B. Tessina, PhD "Dr. Romance"

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Name and Occupation?

Tina B. Tessina, PhD, “Dr. Romance” licensed psychotherapist and author, and Chief Romance Officer of LoveFilter.com

What do you love about being a woman?

I have a huge amount of empathy and encouragement to offer people.

What do you hate about being a woman?

Seeing fellow females abused and confused unable to get their lives together and I am only able to help the ones I can reach.

Who influences you?

My father, first and foremost. My mentor, the late Rev. Denton Roberts, M.Div., MFT. Many scholars and thinkers in the therapy field. My very accomplished and talented women friends, and my beloved husband of 31 years.

Tell me something about yourself that would shock people:

What would probably shock people is to know I was essentially orphaned at 18, and I’ve made my way entirely on my own, working first as a waitress, then getting an office job and working my way up to being the Accounting Supervisor of a nationally known company, then founding my own bookkeeping business so I could put myself through college, then going through five years of schooling and training to become a licensed psychotherapist in California.

www.tinatessina.com

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Women's History Month Spotlight: Jai Stone – Emotional Nudist, Socialpreneur, Speaker & Author

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Name and Occupation?

Jai Stone – Emotional Nudist, Socialpreneur, Speaker, Trainer & Author

What do you love most about being a woman?

Girly, sparkly things like jewelry, glitter nail polish and shiny shoes.

What do you hate about being a woman?

Being boxed into stereotypes that determine what is and what isn’t lady like.  I prefer to define my own definition.

Who or what influences you?

Other women who live organically like Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama. I love women who don’t apologize for who they are.

Tell us something about you that would surprise us:

I am an introvert.  I simply love intimate evenings at home with just me and my boo!

www.jaistone.com

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Black History Month Spotlight: Odette Hooks – Inspirational Speaker, Life Coach & Author

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Name and occupation?
Odette Hooks, Inspirational Speaker, Life Coach and Author

What do you love most about being a Black woman?
If the question were asked what do you love about being a woman than the answer would have been simple. However, in order to tell what I love the most about being a black woman, I would have to speak to you about the black woman’s past in order for you to appreciate my answer. If I simply told you what I love about being a black woman without the back-story, one would probably think that my answer was average and unappealing. So allow me to stir an image in your mind. The black woman: extracted from her native country and brought to a foreign land to be enslaved as a servant and used to breed more slaves. She was raped, beaten, and physically separated from her children due to slave trade and financial gain, not allowed to show forth her beauty and essence, nor to be educated or given the right to vote, but rather judged unworthy simply because of the color of her skin. This leads me to why I love being a black woman. I love being a black woman because I can apologetically be me – a wife, mother of three, entrepreneur, sister and friend. I can live my dreams, hopes and ambitions; love, laugh and truly be happy. I have the opportunity each and ever day to be a positive example to my 23 year old daughter teaching her that as a black women you can achieve an education and own your own businesses. Happily married for 21 years, I can show my daughter that a black woman can have a successful marriage and raise her children to be anything they can dream to be. I am honored that God chose to endow me with the color of strength and I do not apologize for being who I am because I love being me, a woman of color.

Who or what inspires you?
Living in a world filled with so much turmoil, senseless killings, lying and cheating to get ahead, stealing, and so many other saddening statistics, finding a source of inspiration can be challenging; I like to focus on the good. Those good things are happiness, joy, laughter, times of peace, love, family and friends, helping and empowering others. Therefore, I read a love letter everyday to inspire me to choose to enjoy the good things this life has to offer me. This love letter is inspiring because it’s written to me therefore it is very personal. In these beautiful letters I gain strength, find new joy, greater peace, and longer happiness. I learn better how to love myself and how to love others. The intimately warm feeling that comes daily while reading my love letters makes me wish that all individuals could feel like this everyday. These love letters come to me from the uncompromisable words of God in his Holy Bible. They are the most inspiring words I have ever read.

What advice do you have for other Black women or men?
In the society we live in there are so many expectations of what we should like, how we should look, what we should wear, who we should date or be friends with, etc. The greatest advice I can give to anyone, not just black men and women, is to love yourself unconditionally. There are so many people in this nation, especially people of color, which demonstrate actions that would lead one to believe they do not love themselves. When love is not nurtured within ones being how then can love be given out to someone else, not to mention receiving love back? Love is the strongest force on earth in my opinion and we have to give it to ourselves first in order to give some to others. It’s like karma; what you put out comes back. Therefore, love yourself so you can love others and they can give it right back but in abundance

Anything else you`d like to add?
Live life to the fullest. Know who you are and your worth. You are worth more precious than diamonds, rubies, pearls, silver and gold; you are priceless. www.willandodette.com

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Dangerous Lee Interviews,Tina Nies, Author of “40 Day LoveFest”

What prompted you to write this book?  

I worked as a life coach for a few years and helped a lot of people as I shared about positive thinking, owning our choices, and tools to be happier. Yet, while I was pretty happy most of the time, I often felt like I was on a roller coaster. I wanted to find something that would make it easier to be happier without having to work at changing negative thoughts to positive… to get me off the roller coaster.

What I discovered was that I wasn’t really loving and accepting myself completely – mistakes, flaws, and all! No one had really taught me to love myself, I had been told to love others, love God, love my parents, etc. but not much about loving myself. So, during Lent last year, I guided to practice loving myself every day for 40 days… the 40 Day LoveFest. So, I used some tools from my coaching practice and added in specific love practices and it worked! At the end of the 40 days, I had changed, my thoughts were naturally more positive and I naturally made better choices.

40 Day Love Fest is a bestseller. Congrats! How has your career changed?  

WOW! Developing the 40 Day LoveFest program and becoming a bestselling author has swung open doors that I’ve been knocking on for years. Luckily, during those years, I had kept on knocking, kept on helping people and developing relationships, but now more people listen.

Those open doors have allowed me to focus solely on sharing my message and teaching others how to love themselves, how to build a foundation of self-love that will increase one’s happiness and success.

Why is it so hard for people to love themselves? 

There are SO many reasons why it’s hard to love ourselves and I’m already writing additional books specific to some of those reasons. But I believe the most significant reason is that we are simply not taught and encouraged to love ourselves. Self-love is often confused with egotism and selfishness; self-love is almost discouraged! Another major issue is that we look for some future event to happen, then we’ll be happier such as when we make more money, lose weight, get married, retire, when the kids are grown, etc. etc. There is always an excuse why we don’t take time to love ourselves and create happiness now.

It may be corny, but I believe that what the world needs now is love sweet love. Why is it so hard for people to love others?  

I completely agree – what the world needs now is love! It’s hard to truly love others in an unconditional way when we don’t love ourselves first!! If we are constantly looking for fault in ourselves, that is what we also look for in others.

We are told to love our neighbors as ourselves, so that is what we do… the problem is that most of us don’t love ourselves much. How we treat others is a reflection of how we treat ourselves.

My mission is to help people with a practice of self-love that takes just minutes each day!

Where can we buy your book?  

Locally, Pages Bookstore and Family Christian Bookstore, both in Flint. Online they can find it at Amazon, in both paperback and Kindle, and at Barnes & Noble in paperback.  

Website:

http://www.40DayLoveFest.com

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