Politics of Sexuality

This tag is associated with 28 posts

Can Women Get Sex Whenever They Want?


Being constantly chatted up by strange men in a bar would probably drive anyone to drink.

It’s Christmas – the season for making merry, going out and, if you’re single, trying to snog people under the mistletoe before the pubs close. So I thought it would be a good time to look at one of the oldest assumptions in the Men vs Women book: can women get sex whenever they want, while men are doomed to wait on the sidelines until our sexual fancy falls upon them?

I don’t like the bar example. First, and most obviously, it is not universally true. There are women (and I am one of them) who have walked up to guys in bars, asked them for sex, and been flat-out refused. Likewise I’ve known men who have been able to get quick and easy sex with very little effort.

Second, not only does the bar example prop up unhelpful stereotypes about men (that they always want sex, because biology and testosterone and grrr), it also drives a hammer-blow into the self-esteem of any woman who has been turned down for a casual shag. Claiming that women can get sex just by clicking their fingers sets horny women up for a lifetime of disappointment, and gives men a reputation they can never possibly live up to.

Read full article via Can women get sex whenever they want? | Girl on the Net | Science | theguardian.com.

Anal Sex Tips – Your Guide to Entering Through the Rear

anal sex

You’ve been considering giving anal sex a try, but you weren’t sure if you will enjoy it.

Relax; the anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that feel amazing when stimulated by a tongue, finger, penis, or toy. Before engaging in anal sex, you should be completely prepared – mentally and physically. Foreplay before anal sex is not only fun, but downright necessary.

Here are our top ten tips for enjoying anal sex:

1. Cleanliness is… Important

You want all of your intimate moments to be memorable, especially your anal sex experience. You just don’t want to remember any brown residue after your partner withdraws from your anus. This residue could be fecal matter and/or a combination of fecal matter and mucus membranes. There isn’t much you can do to eliminate your mucus membranes, but you can control your bowels. Prior to engaging in anal sex include a diet high in fiber to keep your colon clean. Short on time? Try using an anal douche or enema about an hour before intercourse. This will allow any remaining fluid from the enema or douche to exit your body making your experience more comfortable. Remember, you can jump into the shower afterward to refresh yourself and your partner.

Read more via Anal Sex Tips – Your Guide to Entering Through the Rear | blog.embracedesires.com.

Sex Positions for Larger or Older People


I recently ran into a colleague who had a question for me to answer: What are some good sex positions or sex position aides for people who are larger and/or older? Especially for someone with a bit of a belly?

This came on the heels of a question that I received during a sex Q&A session at a conference for college students, which basically amounted to, “Do people continue to have sex when they get older, and if so, how?” This might have been inspired by Miley Cyrus’s recent declaration that no one over 40 has sex, coupled with the fact that most of the “sexy” or sexual images we are shown do, indeed, feature young, thin people. It’s distressing to me that young people worry about whether they’ll have sex when they get older, while people who are older and/or larger have trouble finding sex resources that speak to them. Let’s try to remedy that a bit, shall we?

Everyone’s body is different, so there’s no single magic sex position that I would universally recommend for everyone of a particular body type or age. Some general concerns that people share are comfort (both physical and psychological), ease of access to the genitals or other erogenous areas and avoiding strain on the joints and back.

Read full article via Sex Positions for Larger or Older People | SEXPress | Shepherd Express.

5 Sex Positions All Men Should Try


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Top Story: Why Men Love Escorts

female escort

To many, an escort is just a fancy prostitute, and that may very well be a fair assumption. Prostitution is selling sex and escorts not only sell sex, but they also sell fantasy and a good time. An escort, unlike a prostitute, can accompany you to a wedding or high school reunion. In fact, sex is not always part of the deal when it comes to escorts, though I’m sure that option is rarely skipped, and quite honestly why would you skip the sex. That’s the best part! Sex sells and sex is the oldest profession in the world. Here are a few reasons why men love escorts.

Men with huge bank accounts and busy professional lives that travel the world don’t have time to date or build relationships. Their wallet allows them the privilege to contact an escort service and choose the woman of their sexual dreams.

Using online dating sites is too much like…dating. Busy men don’t have time for that and let’s be honest that’s not what they want. They want a beautiful woman on their arm and a freak in the bedroom with no strings attached.

There are no surprises and no heart breaks when it comes to escorts. An escort will never reject you or your sexual fetishes and if you like brunettes with blue eyes and a big ass; you will get exactly what you pay for. Also, it’s an escort’s job to treat you like a king. You don’t have to worry about complaining and nagging on a date or in the bedroom.

Lastly, escorts are fun and can also be very therapeutic. You can tell them all your innermost feelings and deepest secrets and not worry about being judged or ridiculed. Sex is good for your health and escorts always practice safe sex, so you don’t have to worry about STDs.

This post was written by Dangerous Lee for Models Escort Agency & Select Sydney Escorts http://www.modelsescortagency.com.au/ & http://www.selectsydneyescorts.com.au/

Top Story: 5 Sex Tips For Women


Men Respond to Praise

Men love it when women praise them, even if it’s something trivial; they really are no different from women and works wonders for their confidence. Women should praise their man before even getting into the bedroom; say something on the lines of how good they luck and how horny you get when you think about them naked. Men are too very conscious about their penis size, their guts and other attributes. So just remember to try making them feel better about themselves – they will feel like they can take on the world.

Most Men Fear Intimacy with their Partner

Intimacy terrifies men after they have had sex, as they then realize just how much desperate they are for a woman’s touch and feel, which does frighten them as it isn’t macho and don’t like to admit to themselves that they are in need of a woman’s touch. However, where does that leave women and what can she do to help her man accept her love and affection after sex? After all women crave their man to be intimate with them after sex – it’s just the way women are and is more important than the sex part to many due to the caring that the man shows the woman.

So what you can do as a woman is to understand that your guy maybe shocked because he realizes he needs to have you near him and wants it badly. Therefore, what you can do is to hold back a little after sex and he may just get used to needing you to be affectionate with him after intimate encounters. If not, talk to him, but don’t pressure him.

Men Appreciate Sex for Sex’s Sake

Sometimes women need to understand that men just want raw sex and that women should be a little more open to do and allow this to happen (I don’t mean every time), just sometimes. Men and women should come to compromises when it comes to having sex, as there maybe certain things that the other would or wouldn’t prefer, but both parties must try.

Men Watching Pornography

A spouse using pornography is one of the main reasons why couples seeking counseling. However, women need to realize that pornography is just another way of watching a fantasy without acting it out. After all many women would simply not do what the guy wants, unless it’s a special occasion like his birthday.

Also women brand men as sex addicts, but this just isn’t the case, as reports suggest that Sex addicts only represent 4% of the entire population, which makes it sound even more less likely that your man is obsessed with sex. The other reason for men watching porn is that they know that women are not and shouldn’t be everything to a man sexually and if you think about it, women fantasize about other men, which is in a way the same, just not as disgusting in a woman’s eyes. If your very lucky as a man, your woman will too like watching porn and therefore you can both watch it together and even talk about it and get excited together.

If you can’t watch pornography with your man, why not just talk about it and ask him what he enjoys about watching porn and so forth; this helps take away any anxieties about your man watching pornography and may even make you a closer couple.

Talking Dirty to Him

Women can find it difficult to talk dirty to their man because they are not used to it, they think it’s corny and they’re afraid that they will be laughed at or lack of response. However, talking dirty in bed to a man is one of the best ways to get him excited and make him feel better about himself; a lot of men feel inadequate in their man-hood department.

Sam is a sex industry expert and has good knowledge of sex toys for men and women, but most of all often gives professional advice to couples.


How To Spice Up Your Sex Life!


We can all get a little bored sometimes of the same routine when it comes to having sex with your partner, but there are elements within a relationship that can help you to spice up your sex life.


Certain foods are well known to increase your sex drive and mood; chocolate, oysters, figs, tomatoes and asparagus are classed as an aphrodisiac; in other words stimulate certain parts of the brain that cause you to be excited sexually due to sugar, vitamins and the look. Just think about peeling back a fig – for men this resembles a woman’s vagina, chocolate gives you a boost of sugar and stimulates the brain, oysters also resemble the opening of a woman’s vagina and tomatoes are a sexy red color. Experts say that visual is a key element when it comes to sexual pleasure! This is fantastic news for both you and your partner.

If you’re a little more adventurous, why not try edible and flavored sauces specially made for the bedroom? There are lots of different flavors out there, so if you and your partner don’t like the same flavors, get two or three different tasting ones! This will drive your partner wild in excitement.

Try out New Sex Positions

Why not just try one or two sex positions that will not only turn you on, but also your partner for the suggestion! One position that is easy to do that you may not have tried before is to put a pillow or two (whichever you like most – try them both) under your backside and let your partner enter you from the missionary position. You will have an even deeper feeling as your partner enters you from a deeper angle, which will give you an even greater orgasm.

If you have tried the pillow and looking for something a little more adventurous, why not try the standing against a wall position? If your partner is strong enough that is – if not try getting him against the wall and have a steamy and passionate kiss and let things follow from there.

Sit on your partners lap and slowly kiss and caress one another whilst looking into one another’s eyes – even if they are watching their favorite program, trust me your partner will put you first and spontaneity is key here.

Sensual Tips

There are so many other things that you can do to spice up your sex life in addition to trying new sex positions and food.

Go Slower

If you don’t fell like being adventurous or want to try anything new, just go along with your normal sex routine, but with a little twist; go slower, much slower. This will get you both very horny and sexually attracted to one another and what happens next will be explosive, believe me.


Send your partner a saucy or naughty text message whilst they’re at work; say anything you want, one example being don’t work too hard cause you’ll need all of your energy for later. All day, your partner will be thinking about what is going to happen all day, once they are home.

Sensual Massage

Why do many people dream of having a massage and even pay to have an all over body massage? Well it’s because they are so sensual and pleasurable therefore, just spare a bit of time on one rubbing massage oil into one another, but remember try to take it I turns, if you can hold out that long that is.

Setting the Perfect Romantic Scene

No you don’t have to go buy a load of roses to set a romantic and sensual scene for you and your partner – why not try putting your best linen and covers on your bed, have a few cushions and light some candles. If you’re feeling really romantic, have a bath together and lay in each others arms – make sure the lighting is right; candles and dim/no lights is a very sensual scene. Even if you don’t think your partner is sensual or romantic, try it and see.

Sam is a sex industry expert and knows all about facts and history of sex toys for men and women.

Outrageous Sex Facts That You Should Definitely Know

These strange but true sex facts will undoubtedly have you scratching your head in amazement or at least give you and you’re friends/partner something very interesting to talk about over coffee!



Looking into the history of sex and the facts regarding the vibrator, it was originally used as for ‘hysteria’ and anxiety of women back in the 19th century through orgasm. That’s simply amazing! So ladies next time you use or look at a vibrator just think about what the vibrator was first invented for.


Astonishingly, semen contains small levels of both zinc and calcium, which are known throughout the dentistry industry to prevent the decaying of teeth. So it’s not as bad as some might think!

The Rabbit

The world wide known “Rabbit” sex toy is renowned for two things: giving women an excellent orgasm and great time when needed in the bedroom and the second, a smiley face on the end. This is supposedly due to Japanese consumers not being all too impressed with sex toys that look like phalluses and so the smiley face was introduced. I think this is rather bizarre; however, I’m sure some Japanese people will think that a thing I do or think is rather bizarre due to culture.

Average Penis Size

Not so long ago, men were asked to write down their penis size to provide a picture of what the average sized penis was and being able to establish the type of men who had the ‘longest’. I mean, you can see the issue with this straight away, but currently medical personnel are now measuring the size of men’s penises and recording the size, which I’m sure is much more accurate. Surprise, surprise, the average size was bigger than it is now, with the average size of a penis being five inches. Just to add, it is a myth that certain groups of men are much bigger than others!

Homosexuality in the US

Only recently did Americans accept that homosexuality is just a way of life and that it is natural for some people to fancy same sex people, as rather shockingly, homosexuality was still portrayed by the  American Psychiatric Association as a mental illnesses and wasn’t  until 1973 that homosexuality was taken off of the mental illness list. I can’t imagine this being the case, but unfortunately it is true.

WWII Soldiers

During the second world war, soldiers were told ‘Don’t forget – Put it on before you put it in’, as many soldiers during previous wars brought home diseases that cost the Government millions and caused chaos throughout cities and towns. This is perhaps more common sense; however, I’m sure that the Government are still picking up hefty bills for soldiers returning from overseas operations due to having unprotected sex.

Sex = Brilliant Work Out!

If you don’t like going to the gym for a great work out and to burn off some of those calories that you ate at dinner, why not just have explosive sex – people burn approximately 200 calories if they have just 30 minutes of sex, more if you go longer!

Burlesque Costumes

Burlesque costumes are seen as sexual and mysterious. However, burlesque costumes have not always been glamorous or seen as sexy and were worn for a completely different reason. The Merkins part of the burlesque costumes (the bottom half) were first used as “pubic wigs” by prostitutes in the 15th century. So just think about that if you ever see or put one on for sexual purposes.

The reason for using the Merkins for pubic wigs was to help with hiding pubic lice and syphilis symptoms, which were all too common in those days. Thinking about that, it makes you wonder how many men and women died or became seriously ill because of hiding those horrendous symptoms and diseases.

Hong Kong

This is perhaps one of the most bizarre sex facts out there – Hong Kong enables women to kill their husband if he is adulterous, which is very much over the top. However, women can only do so if they are to use their bare hands – this is very unlikely possible as we all know that men are often stronger than women. I think it’s just a way to say to men to keep it in their pants or else and to give women a sense of protection.

However, what if a woman cheats on a man? I don’t think the same rules apply somehow. In a way it makes a change that women are more protected than men, as on the flip side you have countries such as Pakistan that would stone a woman to death if she is ‘raped’.  I think there has to be a happy medium, like here in the UK.

Banned Sale of Sex Toys

In both Alabama and Mississippi (USA), there is a ban on the sale of sex toys and vibrators, I find this rather weird due to the way that America is in general – in a developed and forward thinking country, you would think that sex toys and the like are readily available, especially in a country where it is legal to posses a gun without a license. At least sex toys are fun and exciting, not dangerous!

Sam is a sex industry expert and knows all about facts and history of sex toys for men and women.

Top Male Sex Toys

Male sex toys have developed a lot over the past decade as manufacturers within the sex industry have capitalized on the growth of interest in male sex toys and sex aids. Previous generations did not and would not be open about their sexual preferences, needs and wants whereas in the present day men are much more open about their sexual needs.

Improvements are being made to men’s sex toys constantly to try and meet every man’s tastes and needs by striving to find the most stimulant and exciting sex toy sensations.

Realistic Sex Toys for Men

Not so long ago, the most realistic sex toys for men were blow up dolls that didn’t feel very realistic, however this has changed and below illustrates the new types of realistic sex toys for men:

  • Anal Fucker – A realistic and new technology that enables men to feel the same sensation as they would with anal sex. The anal fucker masturbator has a realistic skin feel and really takes a man’s sexual pleasure to a new level.

anal fucker masterbater

  • Tight Vagina Fucker – a very realistic look and feel tight vagina that gives all men that love vaginas a very high sexual stimulus.

tight vagina fucker

Anal Sex Toys

There is a wide range of anal sex toys for men available on the internet and in high street stores. Here are a select few that are amongst the best sellers:

  • Rude Boy – pleasures both prostate and perineum glands all at the same time, giving men a harder erection and the most explosive orgasm.

rude boy

  • Teeze Butt Plug – An anal sex toy that is extremely popular amongst men and features a suction base that is suitable for flat, smooth surfaces.

teeze butt plug

  • Bum Beads – usually consists of up to 10 graduated anal beads that are firm in stiffness.

funky bum beads

  • PH Rock and Roll Balls – velvet to the touch with a flexible movement.

PH Rock and Roll Balls

Other Top Sex Toys for Men

Below is a general range of top sex toys for men that heighten sexual senses and creative a variety of feelings:

  • Penis Strap – the penis (cock and ball) strap is an adventurous male sex toy. The strap is made of soft leather and is designed to stimulate testicles with adjustable straps.

penis strap

  • Doc Johnson Ejaculating Peter Dinger – a perfect shaped and sized dildo that has an ejaculating mechanism. Just fill the pump bulb with cold or warm fluid and squeeze the bulb to release the fluid when desired.

doc johnson peter dinger

  • Doc Johnson Belladona’s Magic Hand – a molded hand that is perfect for getting any male off and giving deep and penetrating satisfaction through fisting and probing.

doc johnson belladonnas magic hand

So as you can see there really is something for everyone, enjoy whatever you find ;-)

Sexy Times R Us are an online retailer of sex toys for men and women to enjoy.


Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: The Value of Feeling Desire


In my last post, I described the various stages of desire, and suggested that we might utilize the experience of desire to manifest things in our physical world. We all are capable of manifesting what we need and want, otherwise we wouldn’t have food and shelter. We wouldn’t even have bodies! The process of manifestation, when it’s done consciously, involves first identifying what we want, then allowing ourselves to experience how delightful it will be when we have it, which is a physical sensation, and then committing to it, which is about making the decision to go for it without holding back. (We can still manifest things without making the decision whole-heartedly–but it won’t be such a straightforward process, in the same way that sex is less fulfilling when you are not wholly involved in it). Finally, we have to act on the opportunities that present themselves.

Most people make two mistakes:

1. Thinking that they have to work at making it happen. Let’s go back to sex here: you don’t have to work at feeling desire when it’s sexual—or if you do, you might as well forget it, because working at it doesn’t work. You have to allow it to occur of its own accord. That’s really what life is about. Note that there is a difference between participating in and working at something, or trying to force it to be a particular way. I don’t mean that you just lie back and let it happen, or not happen, as the case may be; on the contrary, you need to be pro-active in creating it the way you want. The point is you can’t force it to be something other than what you really want, no matter what anyone else thinks or wants. You are who you are, and that is the gift that you bring to the world. So first settle back into who you are and then see what it is you want, not what society and your friends and family think you should want. Cultural and social influences can confuse us very deeply, and then we waste our energy trying to fit in (doing what we think is normal) rather than identifying what it is we want and need. This goes for how you like to have sex, and it goes for how you like to be in the world.

2. Focusing on the fact that they don’t have what they want, rather than on the delight they will feel when they do have it. Make a habit of going back again and again to the sensation of delight that you will feel when you do have it.

The power of manifestation lies primarily in the ability to feel how delighted you will be when you have what you want. That feeling, when it is not contradicted, will bring what you want. Again, you can utilise sex to help you get there. When you are building up to orgasm or you want to fuck and you know it is going to happen, and you feel that delight coursing through your body, so that nothing else matters, remember that you can apply this intensity of energy to getting other things. When you are in that euphoric post orgasmic phase, and your mind is drifting in bliss land, gently focus it on something you want. No effort needs to be made; just decide and delight.

A word about ethics here. It isn’t ethical to impose your desires on others. To force or even persuade someone to do something that s/he really doesn’t want to do is not OK. In truth, it doesn’t even work to do that, because what we all want is to be happy, whatever form that takes for any individual, and no one is happy unless they are doing what they want. If you want to manifest love (which you can certainly do), practice loving yourself and others. Love comes from many quarters and in many forms. Look around you and see it everywhere. Be very careful about setting your sights on a particular person. Do you want others to allow you to be yourself and get what you want? Then allow others to be themselves and get what they want. You cannot change other people, and things tend to get nasty when you try.

It’s very common to have fantasies about being powerless or having power over others. You can act out these fantasies in consensual negotiated sex play, and I’ll address that in another post (see also my previous posts on bondage). It is better not to ignore fantasies – they always hold a great deal of power, and denying that does not make it go away.

Author Byline: Mikaya Heart is an award-winning author and a life-coach. Her latest book is The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women (see mikayaheart.org).

How To Have Sex Outside


Every couple looks for ways to spice up their romance.  Instead of spending a fortune on lingerie and toys, why not take advantage of what is right in front of you?  Have sex outside!

According to Sandor Gardos, Ph.D, having sex outside awakens the senses.  The sex therapist also comments that the fear of getting caught adds a whole new level of excitement!

The next time you and your honey find yourselves in one of these locations, why not drop your drawers and get busy?  We’ll even tell you how to do it!


The backyard is the perfect location for outdoor virgins.  You’ll get all the sensory benefits of an outdoor experience from the safety of your own property.  You probably already know the best spots for extra privacy; take advantage of them!

Pull out a lawn chair and try a reverse cowgirl position.  While your man is sitting in the chair, straddle him so you are facing his feet.  Firmly plant your feet on the ground while gripping his thighs.


Sex on the beach isn’t just an alcoholic beverage.  It is also an amazingly seductive outdoor romp.  Find a secluded area, preferably protected by rocks, and spread out your towel.

Girl on top is the best position for this steamy local.  Dig your knees into the sand as you straddle your man.  This will allow for maximum penetration.


Did you know your skin becomes more sensitive to touch when it is wet?  Probably not.  If you did know, you’d probably be getting it on all the time.  You’ve probably always been turned off by the fact that the water washes away your natural lubrication.  Luckily, there is a simple solution.  Invest in some silicone base lube.

Since humans aren’t able to breath underwater, I guess you’ll have to do this one standing up.  Shove your bathing suit bottom off to the side.  This will allow for quick and easy access.  Then, wrap your legs around your honey’s waist.  Grip his shoulders as he controls the pace with a firm hold on your butt.


Having sex in the middle of nowhere is kind of like being stranded on a deserted island – which is not an uncommon sexual fantasy.  You’ll have to be cautious of the position you use in the boat.  No vigorous thrusting – unless you didn’t get enough sex in the water.

Spooning is a pretty safe way to go.  Lay on your back while your man positions himself on his side.  Lift the leg closes to him and toss it across his body.  Then, swivel so your butt faces him and he can enter you from behind.


The next time you are out on the trail – running, biking, rock climbing – take a break.  You are already hot and sweaty; use it to your advantage.  There is something primal and adventurous about sex in nature.

Embrace your animalistic tendency and go doggy style.  Brace yourself against a rock or tree while your man enters from behind.

Lush grass is just as inviting as a bed and you’ll be hard pressed to find a setting more romantic than the starry sky.  Sex is a natural act between man and woman.  Why not engage in this natural act in the mist of natural beauty?

Guest author Michele Greene is a big fan of outdoor sex.  She works for Custom Corntoss, designing cornhole decals.  Since her life pretty much revolves around having fun outdoors, it is very natural for Michele to want sex in that particular location!

10 Great Movies About Sex


Sex sells. But too little sex and it won’t sell enough, and too much sex and you’ll be lucky to get that picture of yours a wide, theatrical release. But we’ve been watching couples strip down and get intimate for years now, and since sex is such a huge part of life, you can bet that it’s certainly not going to be leaving theaters any time soon.

Sometimes, it makes us laugh. Other times, it makes us cringe. Sometimes, it makes us feel sick to see, or uncomfortable. Sometimes, you have to read between the lines to see it at all! But with movies like Zack and Miri Make a Porno and The Dreamers, it’s important to step back and be able to separate the good, the bad, the bleh, and the “WTF” so you can be a well-rounded, cinematic viewer. What follows is an non-definitive list of some great movies about sex, so enjoy…carefully.

See full list 10 Great Movies About Sex.

Top Story: Position Mistakes Men Make During Sex

married coupleWe all want to make sex as good as it can be for our partners. But there’s more to good sex than choosing the best sex position – you have to know which sex positions and techniques to avoid! So here is a list of things for men to avoid during sex, along with some advice about the best sex positions – the ones that will make sex great for both of you!

Read full article -  Top Position Mistakes Men Make During Sex.

5 Reasons Why More Sex Helps Your Career

  1. Honestly, in this recession, we think most people would take the raise over the sex (including us).
  2. Yes! Sex beats shopping every time. (Or at least it should.)
  3. Wait: Married couples having sex a little more than once a week leads to more frustration, fights and tension because that’s not enough? Seems kind of like a glass-is-half-empty analysis of the data, if you ask us.

Read more at –  Em & Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between.


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