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How to Be an Empowered Woman

woman-EMPOWERMENT

By Marcea Hibbert-Roye

Empower means to ‘give the authority or power to do something.’ A person can empower others, giving them the authority or power to do something or an individual can give himself or herself this same authority or power.

Empowerment fulfills not just a physical task that can be done by giving the empowered person the ability to perform but also the undeniably psychological or spiritual uplifting that is achieved through empowerment. In a world that can appear to demean women, empowering them can have many benefits in securing women to be healthy participants in society. However, it is more important for women to empower themselves against some of the tough challenges they may face.

How To Be An Empowered Woman:

The first thing to being an empowered woman is to give you the power to empower you. When you give you the permission to act, the Universe will rearrange itself providing you with the tools to get the job done. When you give you the authority to act, then you shift the paradigms mentally and psychologically to achieve. Therefore, it is very important that you empower you to empower you.

Say to you “I give myself the authority to act in accordance to what is right for me.’ This will ensure that your mind, body and soul lay congruent as this combination is integral to change and achievement.

Say to you ‘By giving myself this authority, I consider myself worthy of achievement, I am able to act appropriately, independently or with the support of others.” Some people think that independence is the highest achievement indicating true abilities. Yet, it is the acquisition of inter-dependence that is truly necessary for empowerment. Inter-dependence is the realization that whilst you can act independently, we are all inter-connected to others and will need others to get some of our task completed. It is a foolish person that thinks that they do not need anybody else. True empowerment recognizes the need for others.

Say to you ‘I believe that I am capable, that the task at hand is attainable.’ It is important that you believe that you can do something even if you do not truly believe that it is ‘doable.’ Allow yourself to dream that you are doing an actual task or living that actual life and then you start the process of believing.

Say to you ‘I am aware of all opportunities presenting themselves for my benefit.’ Sometimes we have a fixed vision of what we think we need to complete a task that we miss an opportunity to achieve because we do not recognize the help that is presenting itself. Be aware of all things that may be an opportunity, question everything to see whether this is your gift to use. Be flexible.

Say to you ‘I forgive myself for all the mistakes that I made. I have learned much from these choices and I am clear with my ongoing journey.’ It is all too easy to ruminate over past experiences that may not have ended up productive. All this does is keep you stagnant. Permit you to let go and move on. Discontinue the resulting negative self-talk and say that ‘I learnt what does not work for me.’

Say to you ‘I am love, I am of love.’ This statement is very important to sink into your sub-conscious. This statement will act as the driving force to all your achievements. This statement secures self-worthiness ensuring that you can overcome any challenges that may present itself whilst striving for achievement.

Many times when we have a task at hand to do, we sabotage the achievement by talking ourselves out of our achievement. We do not think that we are worthy of attainment and do everything within our power to make sure that we prophesize our thoughts. When the inevitable un-achievement happens, we comfort ourselves with the notion that we were right not to believe. This also happens when we secretly dream of a goal but we minimize our ability to achieve by playing small in fear of achievement. To empower you will increase your chances of living you as you.

Every woman is born with the requisites to achieve. Every woman is born with an internal support system that invariably they have been taught to disconnect from. They do not believe in their own power and seek consciously derived solutions to their problems. When this method does not work, they ignore the ‘little voice’ informing them of what they need to do to get back on track. As a result, the woman becomes disillusioned as she struggles to cope with what she knows to be right for her with what she is actually doing. Get to know your ‘intuition’ and trust her to know what is right for you.

Be you, Do you.

My name is Marcea Hibbert-Roye, qualified Social Worker and Life Coach. I work as a Strategic Lead Developer for Women. My specialism is developing emotional awareness in females as I am passionate about improving women’s lives. I have devised a 6 Step Program that promotes good emotional health by accessing information held in the subconscious mind to the conscious mind. The result is having more control over thoughts, feelings and behavior.

We have a range of cards that can be used to initiate and stimulate conversations for females especially supporting them through challenging experiences. There are cards that also reminds the female that she is worth it!

Help to improve your life by better understanding you and why life is experienced in the way this it is. It is only when you have the tools for change, will change happen.

To keep abreast of the latest news from Safe Space Access, sign up to our email list. safespaceaccess.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marcea_Hibbert-Roye
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Be-an-Empowered-Woman&id=8175812

 

Women Want Intimacy Too

Creating_Intimacy_to_Keep_the_Flame_Burning

By Dr. Jeff Davis

Intimacy (into-me-see) is the right way to look at how women view this topic. Many women long for people in their lives that can see what is really going on with them.

What does it mean to be intimate? It means to be close. To look at someone and see the real person. For a woman it removes the superficiality and the barriers that separate her from everyone else. Some equate being known intimately as standing before someone with nothing to hide.

Let me offer some points that outline what intimacy means to a woman;

1) It means “you can see the real me”- women who open up and let you see the best in themselves. They love being transparent because it means they can just be themselves. And they want to be surrounded by people who can look at them and see who they really are.

2) It means “we are connected”- today’s woman has so much pressure to feel connected to the idea created by the media when they are selling beer and cars; a slim beautiful woman who belongs on the cover on a magazine. Yet many women don’t fit this concept because not all women have the figure or the face to compete. This makes them feel unconnected to the concept of beautiful women portrayed in the public. When a woman knows that she has intimacy with someone else she feels connected and accepted.

3) it means “you can love me and I will love you back”- Intimacy opens the door to being loved with her whole heart being involved. I believe that loving a woman and having her love you back is one of the best feelings a person can have in this lifetime. To find a woman who will not only give you her heart but everything she has to offer is not to be compared with anything else. It is great to find women who are loved and feel loved, free to express themselves without reservation.

4) It means ‘sex is going to be awesome”- when a man connects with a woman on an intimate level that transcends just the touch and the act of sex. A woman who feels intimacy towards a man will give him her heart, her soul and her body. This is clearly the best sex any couple could ever hope to experience.

Let’s hope that all women can have sincere intimacy in their lives. The world will be a better place because of it.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Jeff_Davis
http://EzineArticles.com/?Women-Want-Intimacy-Too&id=8197595

 

How To Recognize If a Man is Single with One Look

black-man-sand

Damn! He’s sexy!

When I first started dating I did not know what to expect. All the men seemed like they were really into me; sharing their stories, trying to act like big/strong men when I was around – the usual stuff. And I thought that those men were really enjoying me as a person, but as it later turned out, most of them already had girlfriends at home. I felt quite ill – hoping that one day I will have the knowledge necessary to determine whether or not a man has a girlfriend, or is he just fooling around with some strange.

After days of intense research, I found out exactly what I was looking for – a simple way to tell if a man is single or not. Let’ shave a look.

Does He Have a Ring?

The first thing you need to look for in a man, is whether or not he has an engagement ring on his finger or not. If you don’t see any rings on either hand, it is still possible that he is married. Some guys would actually go out of their way to take their wedding rings off when they go out somewhere – the nerve of some people! So, if you don’t see a ring, the only other solution would be to look for the mark where the ring should have been. If it looks as there was a ring there yesterday, but it is not there anymore, chances are that he is either married or suffers from some sort of a partial epidermal pigment deficiency that seems to affect only his ring finger. Go figure.

Check his shoes/clothes

Married man don’t usually have very nice threads. In fact, most married men don’t care how they look, and would go to a club wearing literally anything. Single men tend to dress nicer, smell nicer, and have nice, expensive shoes. But that is not always a good indicator. Sometimes the biggest slobs are men who are single, and partially, the clothes are to blame.

Investigate

Like a regular Sherlock Homes, you must find out everything there is to know about a person before attempting anything. Most people are honest about themselves, and they would write their relationship statuses in their Facebook page. Let me just say how lucky we are for having something like Facebook to do most of the investigating for us. But if you want to be 100% sure, you’d be better off asking some mutual friend. Write that person’s name in Google, and browse through all the search results until you find what you are looking for.

Ask

Asking has always been the preferred method for extracting valuable information (right after torture that is). So, why don’t you ask your man-crush whether or not he has a woman in his life? I am sure that if he is a decent fellow he will answer you truthfully, and if you notice foul play, you can just keep walking. But before you ask any awkward questions such as that one; be sure you befriend that person first. Don’t worry, there is no such thing as a ‘friend zone’ when it comes to men. So even if you are his friend; there is a chance that things between you might turn serious.

Author Bio: Jessica Conars likes to think of herself as a love specialist. She works at domesticcleanlondon.com/move-out-cleaning.html and enjoys every day spent with her colleagues.

Can Women Get Sex Whenever They Want?

onewomanmanymen

Being constantly chatted up by strange men in a bar would probably drive anyone to drink.

It’s Christmas – the season for making merry, going out and, if you’re single, trying to snog people under the mistletoe before the pubs close. So I thought it would be a good time to look at one of the oldest assumptions in the Men vs Women book: can women get sex whenever they want, while men are doomed to wait on the sidelines until our sexual fancy falls upon them?

I don’t like the bar example. First, and most obviously, it is not universally true. There are women (and I am one of them) who have walked up to guys in bars, asked them for sex, and been flat-out refused. Likewise I’ve known men who have been able to get quick and easy sex with very little effort.

Second, not only does the bar example prop up unhelpful stereotypes about men (that they always want sex, because biology and testosterone and grrr), it also drives a hammer-blow into the self-esteem of any woman who has been turned down for a casual shag. Claiming that women can get sex just by clicking their fingers sets horny women up for a lifetime of disappointment, and gives men a reputation they can never possibly live up to.

Read full article via Can women get sex whenever they want? | Girl on the Net | Science | theguardian.com.

Top Story: 12 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Vagina

vulva_0

Don’t you think being a woman is great? I know I sure do! I love and embrace all the unique body parts we have that make us women. Women’s genitals specifically though, are not only very different from men’s, but can also differ in the way they look from woman to woman.

Know what your vagina looks like for health’s sake

A vagina is not scary and are not to be looked at only at the time of washing. Don’t be shy because it is your body, and haven’t you ever wondered what it looks like down there? Well wondering, looking and feeling around (with clean hands) is a good thing and something that should be encouraged so you get to know what is normal and healthy for you. So that if something changes down there you know what is not healthy and when professional health should be found.

Women do not pee from their vagina

As a woman you have two ‘front’ holes if you like, one where your period comes from and where you have sex, and another where pee comes from. The latter is located right at the front of the vagina – below the clitoris and above the vaginal opening. The correct term is the ‘urethral opening’.

Read full article via 12 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Vagina | My Tiny Secrets.

Why ‘NO’ Is the Hardest Word for Women to Say Confidently

Serious young woman giving stop gesture

By Margaret A Sims

Remember the famous sentence – Love is never having to say you are sorry - from the movie Love Story? It spawned a thousand jokes. Some people believe that sorry is the hardest word. I place No at the top of the list and especially relating to unwanted gifts of clothing and unwanted fashion advice.

Why is No so hard a sentence?

It is estimated that you will hear the word No at least 120,000 times over your lifetime.

As a Baby Boomer child, you were probably taught that you could happily say Yes or Yes please without a second thought or the need to add an explanation. You were taught to be polite and not hurt anyone else’s feelings. When you asked for something and got a No answer, sometimes you accepted it, especially if you were just trying it on. At other times you added that dreaded why? Then your parents or whoever explained, justified, apologized, procrastinated, fudged, lied or got angry.

That is how many of us learned that Yes is a complete sentence and No is not.

With age and experience, you have also learned that some people play games. They are desperate for you to say Yes because what it will be an advantage to them but not to you.

Clothes are personal statements of who you are. You can learn to say No and mean it without justifying or explaining.

Saying No is About Setting Boundaries

Boundaries are necessary so that you have control over your life and your wardrobe.

Every time you let someone else talk you into taking or buying clothes you do not want or that do not suit you, they, not you, are controlling your life. You may not see them often or ever again but they are still living in your head.

No is a way of setting your boundaries and claiming your right to determine who you really are and who you want to be. It is a way to teach others how to treat you.

Saying No is Not a Personal Rejection

People say No for lots of reasons. Most of their reasons are not personal rejections of you. Also, most of your Nos are not personal rejections of the other person.

Saying No honestly helps people learn that you are not exactly like them. They can then decide if they want to discover who you really are and that is a much more interesting person than they first imagined.

Four No Techniques

There are many people who will teach you how to say No.

Allan and Barbara Pease, the body language experts, teach a ‘You are Right. But… ‘ technique in their 2006 book, Easy Peasy People Skills for Life. This involves acknowledging the other person’s truth which is the You are right words at the beginning of your sentence. Then you add your truth beginning with the words but or but for me which asserts your right to have a different opinion to the other person.

William Ury, a negotiator, teaches a ‘Yes. No. Yes’ technique in his 2007 book, The Power of a Positive No. Your first Yes asserts your values. Your No respectfully states your boundaries. Your second Yes is an invitation to an alternative, positive solution.

Byron Katie, a psychologist, teaches an ‘and no’ technique in her 2005 book, I Need Your Love – Is that True, which she co-authored with Michael Katz. This again starts with repeating the other person’s truth. Then you add the simple words and no to the end of your sentence without any explanation.

Finally there is always a straight and simple ‘No’ or ‘No thank you’ if that suits you better.

Do Not Argue. Re-state Your Position.

This is the key point. As No is a complete sentence, you need to stand firm in your own personal power and refuse to be drawn into an argument.

Follow these basic guidelines -

• Make your statement calmly and firmly.

• If necessary, repeat your original statement as many times as you need to.

• You have the right to say No without explanation or justification.

Last Words

Remember the words of William Ury, – ‘If you can learn to say No skilfully and wisely, you can create what you want, protect what you value and change what does not work.’

Margaret Sims of babyboomerpersonalstylist.com.au is the Baby Boomer Personal Stylist. She is an Image Consultant and Modern Dressing Expert. Margaret helps you, a Baby Boomer woman, dress to SHINE when mediocre is not good enough for you. Starting with a Personal In-Home Styling of your wardrobe, she shows you how to create more modern and exciting combinations from your current clothes and accessories.

Go to http://babyboomerpersonalstylist.wordpress.com – to read more articles on fashion. Be sure to go to the bottom of any article to sign up for the ‘Baby Boomer Personal Style’ eZine with hints and tips delivered to your Inbox every Thursday.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Margaret_A_Sims

http://EzineArticles.com/?Why-NO-Is-the-Hardest-Word-for-Women-to-Say-Confidently?&id=8173047

Competition Between Women – Does Beauty Cause Jealousy?

jealous11

By Marcea Hibbert-Roye

Women can be so beastly to one another. Women can also be the perpetrators of hate towards other women. Women can instigate and continue a trail of destruction towards another woman.

It can be very uncomfortable to acknowledge that women can act just as aggressively as men and cause the emotional breakdown in others especially towards other women.

There are many diverse and oddly strange reasons for women behaving badly and jealousy is one of those reasons.

When the green eye of envy glares from the pulpit of internal vision in a woman, the results can range from mild verbal contact to being downright unbelievably heinous. Due to jealousy, a woman could temporarily appear insane. Some behaviors include verbal rages appearing irrational and incessant; her stiffened body taut from the venom squeezing from every pore. Jealousy is potent and can destroy both the holder and the receiver.

I covered my perspective on the Beauty Myth in another article but wanted to pay particular attention to jealousy in a woman because of beauty noting the Beauty Myth.

The Beauty Myth looks at the overall impact on women and I will be examining the psychological impact on women. To surmise the concept and explain the Beauty Myth, here is a quick precis.

The Beauty Myth is an allegorical ideology about what a woman should look like to be readily accepted in society. Men, for control over women construct this ideology. The ideology of beauty as in the Beauty Myth is not defined, therefore there are no clear guidelines or demarcation.

There are many ways in which a woman gravitates towards making herself appealing and to appease men and the resulting language, spoken or not, determines how women view themselves. Women then systematically enshrine the essence of the Beauty Myth by plundering themselves to a regime of incessant grooming including the use of surgery, cosmetics and diets. A woman does not have to be aware of the Beauty Myth to be complicit in its language. The control over women by men renders women out of control in mind and body as she strives for attainment of acceptance. Remember, what the actual concept of beauty should look like is not defined! Whilst this is happening locally for women, the woman then sees other women as potential rivals. Women compete with other women vying for the attention from men creating a war on each other that may appear comical to some but is in no doubt very debilitating for women reciprocally.

Women readily accept striving to achieve the ‘ideal’ weight and maintain this notion even at the risk of their own health. In some contexts, this ideal is nothing short of experimenting with their life. In an attempt to mask over her own lack of self-esteem, a woman may originate a furtive competition with her colleagues, peers and even friends to appear to be the better looking therefore more acceptable to men. Is the archetypal jealous woman real or fictitious? Just take a look around you.

Women eyeing up other women whilst measuring their own selves and sometimes leaving others feeling as though they are below standard. If a particular woman measures against another woman and feels she is more attractive than she perceives her ‘rival’ to be, just watch her physiology prolifically change in an instant. If she perceives this same ‘rival’ to be featuring an attribute she is keen to personally gain this same change in her physiology is evident but this time, she retreats within herself. The Omni-presence of the Beauty Myth is indeed powerful even if not understood by its participants. The concept of the Beauty Myth makes women jealous towards other women a certainty.

Throughout my working experiences in some companies, I have sometimes felt it was better to have a man as a manager than a woman. I work passionately to improve women’s lives so how can I possibly justify the previous statement? Well, if your female manager is managing her own set of negative self-perceptions and gracelessly views you as having something that she does not, well, put it this way, your working day can be hell. This information should not be taken out of context. Women are able to manage effectively managerial roles, I am speaking about the female manager who may allow her position to denigrate another female based on the idea of perceived threat. I am also admitting, however uncomfortable that women in ‘powerful’ positions can use this to feather their own pride by reducing another women’s intent. The inception of jealousy not just in thought but put into practice has some very untenable traits for the recipient, the acts done against her is nothing short of bullying. Even in an informal group of friends, there is always some kind of rivalry going on, some form of argument stemming from the lack of something, the underbelly being self-esteem. Yet, if we took a look back into the lives of much younger females (ages 4 – 8 years old), you can see a characteristic in them that might explain the neuroticism that follows later on.

Young girls are tenacious; they are determined and self-assured. They can appear bossy and knows how to get their wishes completed. They can manipulate others for their gains without blinking. The young female knows who she is and will fight for control in her circle. (This description is architypically of young females before society teaches them that their voices are not to be heard, another discussion!) Many times, the young female who views herself as mentally and emotionally strong will seek friends who appear to her to be the opposite of her traits. This way, she will continue to reign. When she does befriend another young female who then goes on to outwardly presenting with the same strong traits, they may remain friends but will experience bouts of rivalry towards each other. However, why they would remain as friends needs further explaining. The need to reign is secondary in spiritual terms to the more important aspect of having, nurturing and maintaining friends. This means that whilst the need to reign is strong, this is borne from the pressures put on them from their outside world. The need for friends is borne from their inner world (subconscious) and is much stronger than the need to reign. Young females, growing females and grown females will find a comfortable place with each other that accommodates their rivalry as long as they are friends. So does this mean that the Beauty Myth perpetuates the traits already found in females and uses it against them? In my opinion, most definitely a YES.

The competition between women to beautify self to surpass their ‘rival’ is not done explicitly. There are no words that are used that determine such acts of rivalry; the competition is clandestine. There are times when a female will depict her sense of being at war when she negatively calls on the ‘flaw’ of her rival, teasing her about her perceived ‘afflictions.’ Or when a female has been perceived to have ‘achieved’ the mythological beauty, the backlash from her peers is all too evident. The sniping, the backbiting or even the silent treatments towards to the poor female are tools that are used to demonstrate the discomfort women feel towards their ‘rival’ but borne from their own lack of a positive self identity. The need to reign (starting in early age) is ever-present but made more complex when they become older and now also vying for acceptance from men.

Young girls in the playground demonstrably sending some other poor girl ‘out to Coventry’ merely for having a super pair of shiny shoes that the reigning girl does not. The teenage female who turns on her friend because that boy she likes is not reciprocal with her attention-seeking activities. The new woman at work who makes the standardized corporate uniform look incredibly perceptively sexy even without trying. Supermodels are dicing with their health in an attempt to be the thinnest therefore prettiest amongst her peers. She has learned that this ensures continuous work for her. Media depict background scenes of the cliched females behaving beastly towards each other in the same attempt to reign and be accepted. Movie celebrities all seeking the reduced weight as the camera ‘puts on pounds’ and media shouts out any imperfections on a woman in a public way. Not all publicity is good publicity! Feuds are started by women with other women just because of perceptions based on looks. Especially worsened if the female celebrity is newsworthy and over-exposed. So all women are somehow affected by beauty and can become, coupled with a typically feminine trait, extend into jealousy. The levels to which jealously can extend to, is dependent upon what the attacking female feels she has to gain to extinguish her rival or equally how she much she has to lose.

Here are a few explanations of jealousy:

Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position; resentment or bitter in rivalry; having to do with or arising from feelings of envy, apprehension or bitterness; vigilant in guarding something; intolerant of disloyalty or infidelity, autocratic.

The need to feel beautiful therefore accepted by self and others is inextricably linked to having better self-esteem. This increases the competition in and for women. The ‘rewards’ are both self-serving to women and for men. However, with the Omni-presence of the Beauty Myth makes jealously a sure fire win for men, whoever wins the competition, they cannot lose. Until women build their self-esteem on feelings on individualism, compassion for other women and acceptance of other women and their equally beautiful features, the war with jealousy will continue. The Beauty Myth continues to reign over the female who thinks she reigns. Until women understand that they are men’s half-witted sense of delusions and will never aspire to true equality, they remain incarcerated spiritually. The creation of ‘the woman’ needs to happen and how this is done is by understanding who they are and remove self from men’s expectation. Women then need to build up spiritually by becoming aware of their inner resources to begin the trade off with men for equality because at the moment, men do not have to trade with women on equal grounds.

My name is Marcea Hibbert-Roye, qualified Social Worker and Life Coach. I work as a Strategic Lead Developer for Women. My specialism is developing emotional awareness in females as I am passionate about improving women’s lives. I have devised a 6 Step Program that promotes good emotional health by accessing information held in the subconscious mind to the conscious mind. The result is having more control over thoughts, feelings and behavior.

We have a range of cards that can be used to initiate and stimulate conversations for females especially supporting them through challenging experiences. There are cards that also reminds the female that she is worth it!

Help to improve your life by better understanding you and why life is experienced in the way this it is. It is only when you have the tools for change, will change happen.

To keep abreast of the latest news from Safe Space Access, sign up to our email list.
safespaceaccess.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marcea_Hibbert-Roye
http://EzineArticles.com/?Competition-Between-Women—Does-Beauty-Cause-Jealousy?&id=8154366

Masculine And Feminine: Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Embrace Both Sides?

femininemasculine

By Oliver J R Cooper

Physically men and women are very different; with a woman being an example of the feminine and a man being an example the masculine. But while this much is true, on the inside they are both made of masculine and feminine traits.

And for a long time, men generally behaved in ways that were masculine and women behaved in ways that were feminine. However, as time has passed, women have become more masculine and men have become more feminine in some cases.

As men oppressed women for so many years, this is not much of a surprise. And this can be seen as a natural reaction to being dominated for so long. Men are then facing the consequences of what their ancestors did and after having a sense of supremacy for so long, are getting a taste of their own medicine so to speak

But whether this outlook sits well with someone or not, it doesn’t take much effort to see that the old roles have changed in a lot of cases and this change needed to take place. However, when change does take place, things often get worse before they get better.

So it has all gone from one extreme to the other. And the next stage is surely for men and women to embrace both sides of their nature.

Preference

It is often said that people are more masculine or feminine in nature and while this could be true, it doesn’t mean that rejecting the other side is normal. Both men and women might prefer to be more masculine or feminine for instance and with this being how they define themselves.

And just like how some people prefer milk chocolate to dark chocolate, this is to be expected. But when someone has completely rejected their masculine or feminine side, then something is not right.

Normal

Through people rejecting one side and becoming firmly rooted in the other, it can then seem normal for people to only have one side to their nature. In the past this could be put down to their gender and as men and woman’s behaviour has changed so much, this no longer fits.

Something else is at work and this is going to be due to a combination of factors, such as: childhood development, friends and society. Each of these will play an important role in whether one embraces or rejects each side.

Meanings

And each of these sides has different benefits to one’s life and this means that one side is no better than the other; they both have their uses and are meant to complement each other. Competition can only arise when there is lack of harmony between the two: in their natural state they will be in harmony.

The masculine is going to relate to ones assertive nature; their ability to take action and to stand up for themselves. Saying no, giving and having boundaries are also a part of this. Having the courage to go after one’s dreams and to speak their truth is another expression. These are just some examples and there are many others

On the other hand, the feminine refers to ones vulnerable side and this also relates to emotions and to being passive and going with the flow of life. Here, one in simply ‘being’ and not ‘doing’ and they are receiving, as opposed to giving. Having a lack of boundaries and saying yes is also part of the feminine. And there are numerous other aspects to the feminine.

The Rejection

To always reject the other side is going to create problems in ones life and create an imbalance. And of this has become an identity, it could be a challenge to accept that one has both sides within them.

This doesn’t mean that one is weak for having them or that one side one is better than the other; they are both as important as each other. And a big reason as to why one would reject one side is because this is what feels safe. Now, one might not consciously realize this, but at a deeper level, it is likely to be the case.

Consequences

And when one is not comfortable with their masculine or feminine side, their outer reality is going to reflect it back to them. This is going to be through people and situations that make them feel uncomfortable, irritated and even cause extreme fear.

One might find that there are certain things that annoy them or make them feel uneasy and this could be around the people from the same gender or the opposite one. Whenever one is around people who are assertive or angry, they could feel a bit tense and feel the need to protect themselves or to get away.

Or one could be around people who are overly emotional or passive and end up feeling angry or the need to tell them to pull themselves together. And while these may appear to be nothing more than external problems, if one was to take a closer look they would see that they are being reminded of what they have rejected within them.

Causes

So the society one is brought up in will play a big role, as will the kind of people that one spends their time with. And what is often the biggest factor in whether one embraces or rejects a certain trait within them will be what took place during their childhood.

What they were allowed to express then becomes what they identify with; this could primarily be through encouragement or through the use of fear.

People often mimic what their same sex parent was life, so if a man had a mother who was masculine and father that was more feminine, then he could become more feminine in nature. Or if a man had a father who was more masculine and a mother who was more feminine, he could mimic his father.

And if a woman had a mother who was more feminine and a father who was more masculine, then she could turn out like her mother. Just as a woman could have a mother who was more masculine and turn out just like her. The only way one could survive in the family system was to go along with the role that they were given.

Awareness

These are just examples of what can cause one to be as they are; they are not the absolute truth. If one doesn’t feel safe when it comes to standing up for themselves or in expressing their emotions, no matter what their gender is, then they might be due to an emotional build up within them.

And so they might need to seek the assistance of therapist or a healer to release these trapped emotions. Or changing ones behavior may be enough; what one needs to do can all depend on how much of a challenge this is.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include “A Dialogue With The Heart” and “Communication Made Easy.”

To find out more go to – http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk

Feel free to join the Facebook Group –
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Oliver_J_R_Cooper
http://EzineArticles.com/?Masculine-And-Feminine:-Why-Do-Some-People-Find-It-Hard-To-Embrace-Both-Sides?&id=8159382

How to Keep a Man

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By Cheryl T.

Be yourself.

Don’t portray yourself as bashful if you are really flamboyant. Some people’s personalities clash with those of other people. You want be able to keep up the facade for long. Besides, you don’t want to waste anyone’s time or cause them unnecessary suffering. Your mate will sense that something about you is not on the up-and-up and either lose interest or begin distancing himself from you if he is already emotionally involved.

Check-out your male friends

While you are hanging out with the fellows, pay attention to the ones that you enjoy being around the most. Take note of the things they have in common. For example, do they all have the same zodiac sign, do the same type of work, or are they all around the same age? It would be a good idea to pursue this type of guy more seriously.

Confide in the opposite sex

Your female friends and acquaintances may not know as much about men as they think they do. And much of what many of them think they know is speculation. You don’t interact with women the same as you do with men. So your male counterparts will be better able to tell you what issues you have that are keeping you from getting a man.

Know your place in his life

Take into consideration what is going on in your life right now. Are you experiencing emotional or financial hardship? There’s a good chance that you are not ready for a relationship. The guy you are interested in pursuing at this time may have only come into your life to deliver a message or only as a friend. If you do become involved at this time, he may become overwhelmed by your issues and walk away. Or then again he may stick around—preventing you from meeting or keeping the next guy you were meant to have a relationship with in the future.

Behave as if you already have a man

Mean are known for liking and disliking certain things about women. They are attracted to and want to be around women who are well-groomed, active, and friendly.

Get rid of any preconceived notions you have about men

This doesn’t mean you should throw caution to the wind. But if you approach and treat each member of the opposite sex as if the are likeable and worthy of love and affection, your experience with them can be unique and enjoyable.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cheryl_T.
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Keep-a-Man&id=8157188

 

3 Reasons Divorce Is Harder On Men Than Women

When going through a divorce, both men and women suffer and have a hard time getting back to normal. While this is part of the natural grieving process, men have it harder for a few distinct reasons. Here are three reasons why divorce is usually more difficult on men than women.

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The odds: When going to court, a man will receive second class treatment from the judge and the rest of the people in court. When determining custody and alimony or child support, a man will likely forfeit most of his income even when he does not make a lot of money. Furthermore, women often file false domestic violence claims or tell the court that their husband does not act responsibly around children. When this happens, a guy will have to listen to lectures from the judge and is likely to lose custody or rarely get to see his children except on weekends. To top it off, women in the United States initiate divorce 70 percent of the time; in reality, men do not want to get a divorce as they prefer to use counseling or other methods to fix the underlying issue. Unfortunately, the court system essentially rubber stamps the paperwork and does whatever the attorney of the woman asks. This is often the case as men, sadly, think they can work out the problem and still care about their wives who know just see their soon ex-husband as a cash cow.

Tough guy: Sadly, many men hide their feelings and nobody knows how they truly feel in any given situation. Since men have smaller social circles, they often avoid leaving the house except for work and other essential things. This is even more common right after a man loses the custody battle, which is inevitable in most cases since women routinely get full-custody when showing up to court and asking. To combat this problem, a man should seek mental health help and go out of his way to spend time with family and friends. Furthermore, when dealing with loneliness, a guy should try to go to the gym, ride his bike and get back into shape. A man must remember that he has plenty of people on his side, and in tough times he should call them for advice and a shoulder to lean on; otherwise, when faced with isolation and trying to avoid the underlying problem, a man may suffer from depression and exacerbate the problem.

Treatment: When divorcing, a woman is the hero as people will assume she was a strong woman who took charge and left her loser husband. On the other hand, many people treat recently divorced men in a different light. When going out to events, dealing with mutual friends or even going to work, many will act as though the man made serious mistakes. In fact, even when a woman cheats and ends the marriage, some people will blame the man and assume he made the mistake and was not a quality husband. On the other hand, if a man is not faithful or fails to meet his obligations, people ostracize him from his own community and treated like a horrible human being. Over time, this treatment will get worse as some men, when faced with this mentality, start drinking or abusing drugs.

A man should get a great divorce attorney to help him through the stressful and expensive process. Sadly, many guys are too tough and they end up hurting more than necessary. A man must remember that a divorce is serious, and it is okay to go through the grieving process of a while.

Dexter Smith is a blogger for Tips on Divorce. After going through a divorce himself, he enjoys offering divorce help for men and women.

Submit Your Story: Are YOU a Dangerous Black Woman?

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“Keep it Dangerous!” means being the best at whatever you choose to do in life while holding fast to your personal beliefs as you move forward in a positive direction.

Real letter sent to Dangerous Lee:

I see that you have a brand and that you are doing great works with your website and public outreach. However, I was introduced to you today via HARO , asking for “Dangerous Black Women”. It made my heart sink because the media portrays black women as trouble makers, problems and such. And, if you look at the scale of how people view human beings, they often equate black women as the lowest form. This is what I gather from many years of women’s and equality studies, including black history, racism, abelism, capitalism, Islam, Judaism, et al. It is obvious that you put a lot of time and thought into your work and I don’t want to take that away from you, but please consider what I have said because on the top of the pile seem to be white men, on the bottom – black women, where women that are middle eastern or Asian are seemingly above us and treated better. So as far as your brand goes, I am going to be candid and ask you to consider changing it because you are so talented and put a lot of thought to everything you do. It’s just that the continued consequences of how the media portrays black women make things worse not better.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.

Best, Christine

Aside from the fact that Christine does not understand the context in which I use the word “Dangerous” and she didn’t bother to do any further research before sending the above message, she has some great points and speaks the truth. Black women are portrayed negatively more often than not in media and in the world in general and as a Black woman running a media network I am going to continue to help change the perception to a realistic one.

The Dangerous Lee News & Entertainment Network will feature Black women, like you, from all over the world that want to share their stories of success and struggle.

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If Dangerous Lee plans to publish your photo and essay she will contact you within 4 to 6 weeks. If you do not hear from her after said time your submission will not be published.

Secrets Men Hide From Women

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Being a man nowadays is not as easy as it was 50 years ago. Women are getting more and more demanding in your standard 2-person, 21st century relationship, and sometimes telling the truth just seems like too much work for some men. But of course if anyone is to blame for this it is women, because after all men lie only when they are afraid of the consequences, or because they worry they might offend their better halves in some way. Here are examples of some common lies, that almost all men say to their women, (except for real men of course).

Lying About Where They’ve Been

Men just don’t feel comfortable telling their women that they were out, having a good time. You see, the woman is a selfish creature, and it can smell fun on you from mile away. What’s wrong with letting your man have fun? That is a very good question, but don’t expect a coherent answer. The truth is that women are jealous when their boyfriends and husbands have fun without them. “You were out seeing a movie? Why didn’t you call me? I would have loved to watch a movie with you.”You know, you never do things with me anymore”.  Talk about speaking in white noise. So, just say you were working until late; have that ‘tired mule’ look on your face and if you are good enough, you just might get away with it.

Hiding Feelings and Emotions

Most women haven’t got the slightest idea about inner working of the male brain. Yes, everyone knows that men have weaker emotional response in favor of local thinking. Some women view this as ‘hiding your feelings’. Because they simply can’t understand how come you don’t express emotions; like crying or screaming like they do. Men feel annoyed, angry and exasperated – it is just hormones, it’s normal. That often forces men to lie about what they really feel about a given situation. Your girlfriend thinks that her cat looks adorable in the little dress she had made for her, while you are struggling to keep yourself from vomiting all over your shoes. In fact, most things that women find enjoyable are really a pain in the ass for most men, but we have to hide and pretend, just to make our women feel more confident with their life choices.

Hiding Sexual Interests

“Were you looking at that waitress?” – is a fairly common one. And of course the follow up “Do you like her better than me”? – priceless. Well, if you are like most men, you would lie and say something like “No honey, I was just thinking how lucky I am we are together”. Again, this problem is related to your woman, not to you. Finding another woman, other than your own, attractive is as normal as sunshine. You cannot be held responsible for all the hormones and neurotransmitters surging through your brain – getting aroused by a female is a natural physiological and psychological response. Of course a woman has to be pretty dull to not realize that. What honey, you think you are the most beautiful woman in the world? Give me a break!

Hiding Female Relationships

Quick to jump to conclusions; even quicker with the frying pan – a jealous woman can be more terrifying than 10 standing armies. Even if there is nothing between you and the female co-worker “X” for example, it doesn’t matter. The fact that you know other women, just know them, is an insult to your woman. “No honey, that was Tim’s wife. She told me Tim won’t make it tomorrow for work”. Or something.

Author Bio: Jessica loves to write about relationships and family. She works for shinylondon.co.uk/deep-cleaning-stockwell-sw9/ but she has enough time for her family.

I Want a Seat Next to Rihanna & Miley Cyrus at the AMAs

Rihanna-Chief-Keef-Miley-cy

So, Rihanna and Miley Cyrus are sitting next to each other at the American Music Awards this Sunday. Damn, I wish I could have a spot next to them. They have the best weed in Hollywood!

Find out why Chief Keef Wants to Work With Rihanna + Miley Cyrus.

Why Players Are Really Just Insecure Men

playa

People who cheat think they are getting ahead, but they are only fooling themselves. Not only are players cheating themselves, but their actions reflect what they carry inside, a lack of maturity and an unhealthy development into adulthood.

When I hear men who are players call their women insecure, I realize that this is the man speaking out of a guilty conscious and using a primitive defense mechanism called Projection. Usually, men attribute their own undesirable thoughts and feelings onto their women who do not have those thoughts and feelings. Does this sound familiar? Little do these men know, they are the ones who are insecure in themselves.

Read full story via Why Players Are Really Just Insecure Men | UrbSocietyMagazine.

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