Some women are attracted to men whom most might consider as “bad boys.” But what exactly is a “bad boy?” This term can apply to guys who have a tough-guy image. However, there are more scary types of bad boys, and these are the men who abuse women physically, emotionally and psychologically. So, why are some women drawn to these guys?
There are a number of explanations why strong, smart and accomplished women seem to lose their sense when they see tall, dark, and handsome bad boys. Instead of running towards the opposite direction, some of them even initiate the first move. The worst part is that even when abuse occurs, some women will try to tolerate the pain. They’ll only ask for help when it becomes physically or psychologically impossible for them to continue with the dire relationship. At times, it is their bodies and minds that give up and say that enough is enough.
Although some say that they want to be with bad guys because they are exciting, this isn’t the only reason why women are attracted to rebellious boys. There are more serious motivations, and some are discussed below.
1. The Challenge
Some women seek out challenging men. They shy away from happy, contented and overall decent guys who can be good partners or husbands. What they want are men who are wayward because the thought of rehabilitating these guys are exciting to them. This can be due to women’s nurturing nature that drives them to “rescue” problematic individuals.
2. The Ego
Joe is a known bad boy in their area. When he got together with Jane, he began to change for the better. People in their community and the couple’s families and their friends commended Joe for making many positive changes in his life. As for Jane, well, there certainly are more praises for her because among the many girls that Joe’s been with, it was she who was able to pull him to the right path, so to speak. This type of attention makes Jane’s heart swell with pride.
Sometimes, it is also a woman’s ego that drives her to fall and to remain with a bad guy. She hopes that she can change him, and when she does, she knows that people will admire her for being able to make her guy a better man.
3. The Hormones
Yes, girls out there can also blame their hormones for making foolish relationship decisions. According to some scientific studies, women become more attracted to handsome, rough, and strong bad boy types before and during ovulation. Nature is dictated by the survival of the fittest, and it is innate in women to find men who can defend them and provide for them. During the ovulation period, when girls’ decisions are heavily influenced by a cocktail of hormones, some bad guys could actually look like Mr. Right. They mistakenly believe that the strongest, largest and the most aggressive man is the best father and provider.
4. The Father-Daughter Relationship
When a woman has had a troubled relationship with her father, she might seek to remedy her past hurts by unconsciously searching for a guy who has the same characteristics as her dad. What if the dad was a violent one? If this happens, the woman could also end up in an abusive relationship and, without meaning to, become like her battered mother.
Claire Taylor is a freelancer who often blogs about relationship issues. Some of the materials that she’s written about divorce, custody battles, as well as pre-nuptial agreements have been used by legal experts, like Livesay & Myers.
A lot of women are attracted to dark and brooding men. This is due to the fact that most novels and movies portray these male characters as very loving and protective of their loved ones. To that end, most women find it exciting and flattering when their man becomes possessive or very protective. But are these behaviors actually good signs? Can a woman stay happy in this kind of relationship where her man is constantly jealous of their friends and family?
As a woman, you might have fantasies of dating someone who is afraid of losing you; however, it must not come to the point where he is constantly controlling your actions and decisions. Possessiveness, jealousy, and controlling behavior are all major signs that it is time to walk away from the relationship. This article will help women recognize the red flags that they are dating an abusive man; however, men should also evaluate their behavior to avoid becoming an abuser.
Do not mistake these behaviors as love. You might mistakenly believe that a little jealousy and possessiveness in a relationship won’t do much harm. You might even think that he is afraid to lose you- and maybe he is. Unfortunately, too much of this behavior can be dangerous and abusive. You need to understand that jealousy is not a proof of love; instead, it is a sign of insecurity. Here are a few red flags you need to watch out for:
A lot of women believe in love at first sight; thus, when their man tells them that they have fallen in love with them just after a few dates, they are quick to believe. What you need to understand is that love takes time. It doesn’t usually happen overnight and even if it does, nobody in their sane mind will quickly get hitched after six months of dating. You need to know that many victims of abuse have dated their abuser for less than a year before they decided to live together. Here are a few signs that should ring warning bells.
Abusive men usually try to restrain their victims from interacting with other people. If you find that your man easily gets angry when you spend time with your friends or with your family, it is a clear sign that it is time to walk away. He might demand that you should only go out when you are with him. He might even make you believe that your family and friends do not want you to be happy because they want you to stay away from him. He might also manipulate you to thinking that it’s you and him against the world who tries to pull you apart.
Physical abuse is not the only sign you should watch out for in an abusive relationship. Abuse can come in various forms, such as those mentioned above. Another form of abuse is verbal. Verbal abuse is very easy to pin point once you know the red flags.
Women should be able to recognize the red flags of an abusive relationship and be able to walk away from it. At the same time, men should also recognize these behaviors in themselves and try to seek help before they do anything irrevocable. Once people start to recognize these signs, there will be less victims of abuse.
This guest post is written by Kris Bennette who is an advocate for women’s rights. She writes about the warning signs of an abusive man to help her readers learn more about this cruel fact of life. She also aims to raise awareness to prevent the rising number of abuse victims.
Each individual has their own set of likes and dislikes and it is never possible to speak for everyone but when it comes to human attraction there are plenty of qualities that many people find attractive. If you were to ask someone what a man finds attractive in a woman then it is likely that you would get more than a few blunt answers.
It is true that there are some people who do not think very deeply and this extends to their pursuit of the opposite sex. Conversely, there are those who have more consideration about what they are drawn to in a potential partner or simply someone they are attracted to. These are examples of what a man tends to notice for all the right reasons in a woman, in the things that are visible when they see them and the qualities that are on display from deeper within.
Beautiful eyes can grab the attention in an instant and often it will be the one thing that you first remember noticing about someone you like. Eyes can be like the outward shield guarding so much of who that person really is and if a woman walks into a room and they have the kind of eyes that can illuminate it then there will be no shortage of admirers straining to get a glimpse.
Clear confidence in a person is naturally attractive. It makes people want to be around them as well as making others interested in them in a separate way. Self-confidence is a very important quality but there is a fine line that separates it from overconfidence and too much of it can certainly be unappealing. Understated beauty in a woman is extremely special and perhaps the biggest reason for this is that a man can look at her and feel, for a moment at least, like he could be the very first person to truly notice it.
Elusive Yet Interested
You could be forgiven for thinking that these two conditions cancel themselves out but a balance between them works so well. You always want what you can’t have but at the same time nobody wants to feel like they are not wanted. That mystery which surrounds a woman when you first meet her makes you want to find out all about her and although a bit of a challenge to win her affection is attractive it also helps to have an inkling that she welcomes your interest.
Subtly Elegant Jewelry
In terms of items that a woman may wear to catch the gaze of someone, jewelry is the classic example. It is never the thing that someone would want a person simply on the basis of but a small number of elegant pieces can make her look terrific.
The Winning Smile
Some people seem to have a naturally happy look while other people can often be seen as slightly miserable when in actual fact it is not the case. Either way there can be little doubt that once you set your smile free it is very endearing and the best of them can leave men dazzled and in many cases infatuated.
Mark Terry is married to a wife who caught his eye and won his heart straight away. When he bought his daughter the display for her necklace from jewellery-displays.com he remembered the one his wife was wearing all those years ago.
A guy can soon know and understand if a girl is interested in him, the signs are fairly obvious. However, for those that don’t know or haven’t seen these signs, here is how to tell if a girl is interested in you or not.
If you are at a party or some other event and a girl is interested in you, the first thing you will notice is her eye contact. She may be across the other side of a room but you will still sense her focus is on you.
Most men when they know a girl is watching him, change their posture, stance or manner; they try, sometimes successfully and sometimes not, to be cool and look more manly. My advice is to remain yourself.
There is no need to try and change who you are. A girl becomes interested in you because she see something in your personality that she likes acting differently will make her think, possibility, that you are suffering from delusions of grandeur or some other ego problem. To repeat, be your self, it is you she’s interested in not James Dean.
This is something women do extremely well. They know men are visual animals that put emphasis on looks initially. So, with this in mind, a woman to get a man’s attention will sometimes flaunt her body in some way.
For example, she may stand differently – a sexy pose or she may subtly display the curves of her body. What she is doing is not a trick, per se, it is the “attraction game” played between males and females.
Take the peacock, for example, the male bird, to get the attention of the female, displays all his colorful feathers and struts around with an attitude. Humans, both women and men, do the same thing – both are playing the game.
Once a woman has made initial contact and senses the man is interested, she will want to learn more about him. How she does this is through conversation. The most common method of breaking the ice is light banter, “Hi, are you enjoying the party?” short questions like this. You, the guy, responds accordingly with, “Yeah. How about you?” She has now broken the ice and the next question or statement will be names. “I’m Jill, by the way.” “Chad” is your answer and then you both shake hands.
This handshake is light; remember you’re not pumping the hand of a beer-drinking 200 pound bricklayer. The conversation from this point on will focus on each of you; your jobs, interests, where you live, etc.
It is important to note here that the girl is checking you out (as you are her). She’ll want to know whether you’re married, single or in a relationship but she can’t come out and directly ask. So her questions will be subtle. If you are interested in her, try to anticipate the questions she is going to ask. It is pretty easy to guess what a woman wants to know.
Exchanging contact numbers:
After you’ve been chatting and drinking together for a couple of hours, the time will come to exchange phone numbers and email addresses. Now, by this time the woman knows you are interested in her and you know she interested in you so who asks first? Generally, it is the man that asks for the girl’s contact information first.
This is because tradition dictates men ask and women give. It is silly really, especially in the 21st century when men and women are interested in each other they have to “play” within the rules of the dating game.
You, the guy, therefore have to ask for her number. Don’t worry about a refusal, there won’t be one; she hunted you out remember? Once you have taken down her number, she will ask for yours.
The next step is who calls whom first. Although women want to call, most won’t. They will wait and pray for the guy to call, but they will not do it first. This is silliness from the 20th century also that has been carried over. Give her a call.
How to tell if a girl is interested in you? The above explains it all.
My name is Alex J. Steve. ‘How to make a girl fall in love with you’ and ‘how to get a girl to like you’ are my favorite topics to write articles on.
American men spend an incredible amount of time and money trying to make themselves more attractive to the opposite sex. Unfortunately, quite often, they inadvertently do little things that turn women off. Before you head out to the bar or on another first date, learn three things that could send the girl of your dreams running in the opposite direction.
While many men credit alcohol for making them more charming and relaxed; a recent survey suggests otherwise. Conducted by Cancer Research UK, the survey found that only 13 percent of female respondents found intoxicated men more attractive; while 42 percent considered male drunkenness a considerable turnoff.
Every week, millions of men spend hours at the gym sculpting their bodies in an attempt to attract female interest. According to at least one survey, they may be better off focusing on their mouths.
A recent poll found that single women rated bad breath as their number one turnoff, when it comes to sizing up a man. After that, they judged yellow, missing or crooked teeth as the second greatest thing that sent them running from a potential mate. According to cosmetic dentist Dr. Ken Siegel, these results shouldn’t be surprising.
“In an ideal world, we wouldn’t fixate on physical attributes,” he said. “However, in the real world, these things matter to single people. If you have chronic bad breath or unattractive teeth, you’re not only going to appear less attractive; you’re also more likely to come off as shy and introverted. Many of my patients don’t just seek treatment so their smiles will look better. They do it, because they want to feel more confident. And we all know just how important confidence is, when it comes to catching the attention of the opposite sex.”
A study out of the University of British Columbia suggests that nice guys really do finish last when it comes to attracting a mate. Appearing in the journal Emotion, the research involved over 1,000 men and women who were asked to review numerous pictures of members of the opposite sex and rate them based on attractiveness. Interestingly, while men preferred happy, smiling women over females who wore proud, confident expressions; female subjects rated men who had proud or moody facial expressions as being much more sexually attractive when compared to smiling, friendly-looking men.
While it makes sense to correct any sort of physical or behavioral flaws which could make us less attractive to members of the opposite sex; it’s probably unwise to alter our personalities to satisfy others. In the end, if you’re a nice guy; be a nice guy. After all, few things are less attractive than a man who tries to pretend to be something he isn’t.
Ryan Lawrence writes for Off-Topic Media. Thanks to Dr. Ken Siegel for his contributions to this story.
Name and Occupation?
Sheela Sheena Langeberg – A Multi Disciplinary Artist & Small Business Owner
What do you love most about being a woman?
I love being a woman because there’s nothing like it in the whole wide world. The fact that there’s this special beauty and humbleness that’s only granted to women, being it either physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually is really amazing! To me, being a woman means having a lot of abilities, cleverness, smartness, sharpness and swiftness.
Women are sacred. They have this power that’s only associated with their gender that can never be copied or altered. Women can be gentle and vulnerable and yet, they have an incredible strength, patience and tolerance. They are quick thinkers and multitaskers. Women are wise, sensitive and at times dangerous. To be able to carry a life inside you and give birth to another human being and be part of God’s all creation’s scheme is pretty magical!
I’m never attracted to women romantically, but I think women are sexy and attractive. My mother and the women in her family for example, are incredibly sexy and attractive. l love being a woman because womanhood is captivating, hilariously entertaining and spellbinding. As a woman I’m intuitive and connected to things and situations around me for most of the time. I’m also connected to the planets as well as the cosmos. I’m a woman, mother, sister and friend. I’m a leader, happy and free.
What do you hate about being a woman?
If I had power or an alternative, I’d abolish the monthly periods. I hate having them every month!
Who or what influences you?
I’m very much influenced by my mighty mother and the village women.
Tell us something about you that would surprise us:
Some people think I’m extraordinaire. Some say I’m a genius. I have to just laugh.
Author: Richard Wright
You may have your own reasons why you are being clingy to your boyfriend, but too much of it might just lead to the failure of your relationship. Therefore, you should not become too clingy to your guy so he will not look for someone else to replace you in his life. Read this article now to find out the tips on how not to become a clingy girlfriend which most guys despise of.
Let Him Go Out With His Friends
Even though you treat each other as best friends, you actually need your group of friends outside of your relationship. So give your guy the freedom to go out with his friends, whether they’re a group of male or females. Being in a relationship does not mean that your world should only revolve within the relationship – you need life outside, so hang out with your own group of friends, too!
Limit Your Phone Calls
Whenever you and your guy are from each other, do not keep on calling him from time to time. This will just make his friends think that you are being too bossy to your guy. Aside from that, your boyfriend might get distracted to whatever he is doing and this will just piss him off. Allow me to share more tips about how to get him commit in your romance, check out how to make him commit for 7 techniques to take your relationship to another level.
Know Your Boundaries
Keep in mind that you are not married yet, so do not act like you are the wife. Make sure that you know your limits of being a girlfriend. Avoid monitoring his personal finances and give him the privacy that he deserved. If you two are already married, that is the only time that you can ask your guy about his personal finances, such as where he spends his money and how much he is earning, because as his wife, you have the right to do so. If you would like to understand ways you can get him like you again, you may go on how to make him want you back for helpful information about how to attract him again.
Go on With Life
As I mentioned before, being in a relationship does not mean that your world will revolve only within the two of you. So go on with your life and reach for your dreams, because your life will not end whenever you already have a girlfriend. Pursue your own dreams, or do things that you enjoy doing, such as traveling, taking dance lessons, going out with friends and shopping!
Spend Time with Your Friends
In order to avoid being too clingy to your guy, gather your own circle of friends so you will keep yourself busy while your guy is out doing his own thing. Do not be afraid to meet up with old friends or make new ones. Make your guy realize that your world does not only revolve around him, and you know how to enjoy even without him.
Most of the time, the number one reasons why girls are becoming too clingy is because of insecurity and for fear that their guys might leave them for someone else anytime. Trust is the number one reasons why girls are becoming insecure, therefore, make sure that you and your guy knew how to trust each other no matter what. So if you do not want to be branded as “insecure”, then do not act like a clingy girlfriend. For added details on reasons that men leave women, you can go to why do men leave for information about the most common reasons.
Some men should come with a warning label. These are the type of guys that you look back and wonder what you ever saw in them in the first place! To avoid being disappointed in the future, learn how to spot these bad boys right away.
1. Mr. Unavailable. This is the type of guy who pushes you away when things start to get serious. He disappears for days or weeks without warning, only to reappear like nothing has happened. Perhaps he’s hard to get a hold of and cancels plans, or avoids discussing your relationship. It doesn’t matter what his excuse is-work, family, being tired-his actions are telling you that he’s unavailable. You don’t want a relationship that you have to force on someone. With a guy like this, you’ll never feel secure and might always be afraid he’s going to pull his vanishing act again.
2. Mr. Peter Pan Syndrome At first glance, guys with a certain childlike wonder are tons of fun to be around. In fact, their goal every single day is simply to have fun. They might encourage you to not take life too seriously…which ultimately turns into the problem. This type of guy doesn’t take anything seriously including jobs, relationships or goals. They aren’t reliable, and you might begin feeling like you have to take care of them just like you would a child. Relationships aren’t always fun, and you deserve a man, not a boy, who is a capable adult.
3. The Charmer Do you ever get the feeling that a guy must have been a used car salesman in another life? He’s smooth, polished and tells you exactly what you want to hear. In fact, these are the qualities that probably caught your attention in the first place! These types of guys know what works when it comes to women, and often use it to their advantage. It’s great if a guy is confident, but make sure that he’s not just a player putting on a facade.
4. The Ex In this day and age of social media, it’s easier than ever to reconnect with past loves. It might seem like something straight out of a movie-your high school boyfriend messages you on Facebook and asks you to dinner, and you’ll live happily ever after just like everyone thought you would…twenty years ago. Just because someone took up space in your past doesn’t automatically give them a free pass into your future. Plus, you both might not be the same people you were years ago and might end up finding that you have nothing in common. In most cases, ex-boyfriends are better left in the past.
5. Hey Jealousy… When you first see signs that the guy you’re dating is the jealous type, you might dismiss it as him just being protective or worried about you. However, when a guy gets so jealous that every time you talk to or look at another man he flips out, it’s best to run the other way. His trust issues have much more to do with him than they do you, and no matter what you do he will always find something to be jealous over. Pretty soon you’ll find yourself walking on eggshells, afraid to set him off.
We Love Dates is a worldwide online dating site. For more dating advice and tips, visit the We Love Dates blog.
Jealous and possessive men are a common problem for women on the dating scene. When this type of man finds that special woman, they can develop insecurity about whether they can hold on to her or whether they even deserve her. In response, they try to subjugate their special lady in an effort make her feel dependent.
As social and economic factors are making it an increasingly demanding and, at times, confusing times to be a man, more men are feeling the crunch on their self-esteem, which can exacerbate this kind of controlling behavior. So, women need to be on the lookout for these toxic partners more than ever here. Here are some of the red flags that make it easier to spot a potentially jealous and possessive man.
Unrealistic expectations for his partner and relationship
In the early stages of dating, you begin to get a sense of how your love interest views relationships. Does he seem to believe the right woman will immediately flip his life from wrong to right? Has he discussed a laundry list of characteristics for his ideal woman that go on for miles? These can be signs of a man who expects a lot from a woman, and whose lofty expectations can translate into extremely possessive behavior down the road.
Sour talk of his old flames
Most people have had one or two relationships that ended poorly. However, if all talk of his exes are diatribes about their failings, and if he brings up the subject somewhat often, you should tread lightly. Chances are he has a tendency to see himself as always being right, which is a mark of many possessive men. And if his temper flares when talking about whom his exes are dating now? He is probably prone to jealousy, too.
Little questions about your locations and phone habits
Many men know it is in bad form to ask a deluge of questions about where you are and who you are talking to early in the game. However, possessive and jealous men usually manage to work at least a few of those inquiries in within the first couple of dates. Sometimes those kinds of questions are legitimately innocent, but if you get several a day about where you are and who you are with, you could have a potentially toxic partner on your hands.
Devalues your ideas, work, and appearance
If the guy you’re seeing makes you feel down about yourself, you should get out that relationship. Expectations for receiving daily heaps of praise is one thing – not all men do that, even the great ones. However, you should feel comfortable and confident in yourself around the person you love; if you don’t, and your significant other is actively contributing to your feelings of inadequacy, it is probably time to move on.
Resorts to anger on a regular basis
Sometimes your partner will get angry. It happens and, if it is an occasional thing, it is perfectly normal. Where things get abnormal is if even tiny mistakes or misunderstandings elevate to full-blown rage. By bombarding a partner with such strong emotions regularly, it can contribute to feelings of dependency and an imbalance in power because, in order to circumvent the rage, you may adapt your behavior to suit the person with the temper. In that way, the person quick to anger controls his partner’s behavior.
Don’t get caught up in misplaced possession and jealousy in your relationship. By identifying red flags, you can spot dating trouble during the first few dates, and then can decide whether you want to pursue it further.
Guest post contributed on behalf of DatingWebsite.com.