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Ask Dangerous Lee: I really like this boy and he’s 16 and I’m only 12 and a half

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Name: Kaylean
Question: I really like this boy and hes 16 and I’m only 12 and a half. I have known this boy for 5 years and I never really seen him as a boyfriend until now. I asked him if he liked me and he said yes, but he wants to wait until we’re older, but I really don’t want to wait. What do I do?!
Location: Mars

What’s the rush? Wait! It’s best. You’re 12, a child. Enjoy his company, learn more about yourself and grow up. The fact that he as a 16 year old is telling you that he wants to wait is a blessing and it also means he’s respecting you and himself. You have all your life to “be with” a boy/man. Also, talk to your mom about this, sweetie. She really is the person that you should go to for help and advice on things like this. If not your mom some other adult female you trust.

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DANGERMASLOGO

365 Days of Dangermas: Day 93 – I'm PMSing!

DANGERMASLOGODay 93 – April 3, 2013:

Highlights of The Day

  • Ladies you know what I’m talking about; your breasts swell, you can feel your uterus moving, you cry at the drop of a hat, and you feel like crap! Yep! That’s me, and my back hurts! All this and I haven’t even officially started my period yet. Ughhhh! Periods are one thing I HATE about being a woman. I will rejoice when I hit menopause.
  • Other than hitting the chiropractor this morning, we took a lil’ trip to Baskin Robbins for ice cream – chocolate chip and mint chocolate chip in a cup please!
  • The article 5 Reasons Marrying A Nurse Is Like Winning The Lottery has officially gone viral! It has received more than 100,000 views today alone. Wow! I’m shocked, but loving it. Thanks everyone! I’m not sure what’s so captivating about the article but like I said, I’m loving the love 🙂

Nothing for the Dangermas tree today, but the huge snake added yesterday makes up for the many missed days; don’t ya think?

If you’d like to donate items to the Dangermas tree, please view our wishlist for ideas, or you can send ornaments or other light weight items to:

Dangerous Lee

PO Box 7317

Flint, MI 48507

  • 365 Days of Dangermas: Day 86 – The Broken Couch Blues (dangerouslee.biz)
  • 365 Days of Dangermas: Day 87 – Fried Catfish Dinner (dangerouslee.biz)
  • 365 Days of Dangermas: Day 91 – I’m So Tired! (dangerouslee.biz)
  • 365 Days of Dangermas: Day 92 – Snakes, Lizards & Frogs, Oh My! (dangerouslee.biz)
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Black History Month Spotlight: Brandy "BrandyWine" Rankins – Poet, Speaker & Minister

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Occupation:

I am a woman of many trades. I am a dedicated wife to an amazing husband, a stay at home mom to four small yet awesome children, a published author, poet, full time student, speaker, and licensed minister.

What do you love most about being a Black woman?

As a Black woman I love that I am a part of a victorious culture which defines beauty, inspiration, and empowerment.  We are overcomers and it’s celebrated by the countless blood, sacrifice, sweat, and tears my ancestors shed so that I could live the way God predestined me to be, free. Witnessing President Obama’s inauguration was very emotional for me because it’s a tangible reminder of how far we’ve come, what’s yet to come, and that nothing is impossible for anyone!

Who or what inspires you?

I am most inspired by the trials and tribulations of life that I’ve endured.  Despite the tears I’ve cried and moments where I just knew I would give up or lose my mind, Jesus kept me and I am still standing. I am so very thankful to God for the love, grace, and mercy that he’s shown me and in turn it is the same passion that drives me to love, sow, empower, and help others.  I believe you aren’t great until you help someone else operate in greatness!

Advice for Black men and women?

My advice for Black men and women is to seek out ways to unify. Let’s destroy the stereotypes by rebuilding the unity and foundation of what our families and households look like.  Fathers support and raise your children and Mothers let them. The questionable paternity tests on the Maury Show are not genuine definitions of who we are; we are great! Let’s flood society with our abilities, intelligence, skills, gifts, etc. and be both the examples and leaders our children and the generations to come need. We have to be the change we want to see starting now!

What are you working on that we need to check out?

I’m hosting a revival on February 15th and 16th (2013) entitled: “The Power of Position, Passion, and Walking Into Your Purpose” in Cleveland, OH, I’ll be speaking at the “Beauty for Ashes” Conference in WI  (April 2013) with the phenomenal Yahminah McIntosh, and I will also be hosting SpeakLife Ministries second annual conference (June 2013) entitled: “Surrendering the Mask: Just Let It Go!” It’s also a book titled,  Surrendering The Mask: 7 Steps to Power and Purpose During the Pain. 

Where can we find you online?

Please visit me online at the following:

Toby

Black History Month Spotlight: Toby S. Jenkins, PhD

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Occupation:

Toby S. Jenkins, Professor, George Mason University

What do you love most about being a Black woman?

First and foremost, I love my culture. For me, culture has always been much more of a life foundation than a collection of rituals, symbolic practices, and artistic expression. Culture is the mental strength and confidence that allows me to look in the mirror and love my black skin. My healthy and positive sense of self is undoubtedly an appreciation for the culture that I represent—I love being an African American woman. I am energized by the audacity, strength, sassiness, humility, and diligence that being an African American woman embodies.

Who or what inspires you most?

Without hesitation–my parents. My dad worked 3 jobs to support our family–to give me a life that allowed me to go on to earn a PhD.  I always remember how hard he worked in mills, factories and as a janitor picking up other people’s trash to feed his family. And so I never complain about being too tired to give it my all…I never have an attitude that Im too good for anything.  What I also know for sure is that I have inherited a value for motherhood, family, and culture from the mothers who raised me. Our lives were starkly different. My grandmother was a wife in her mid-teenage years, my mother was wed at age nineteen, and I am still unmarried. By twenty-eight my grandmother had five children, by thirty my mother had two, and at thirty-seven I still have none. My grandmother worked domestically, making as her career the cultivation of five lives; my mother has been a stay-at-home mom and has also worked as a housekeeper, as a factory worker, and as a teacher’s aide. I have worked my entire adult life, have earned a Ph.D., and have made my professional home the university—an environment that neither of my mothers ever knew. Each generation of women in my family has known a different experience inside and outside the home. But I have made a firm commitment not to choose between the life that I have created for myself and the cultural legacy that I have inherited from these incredible women.

As a professional, educated woman, I value domesticity. I value the importance of a clean home and a healthy environment in which to live. So I am also domestic. I value the meaning behind cooking a good meal—the reward that we feel when we (literally) nourish our loved ones and they enjoy it. I appreciate the peace that I feel in preparing the meal and the rush I experience from unleashing my creativity right there in my home. So I cook, and I do it well. But most important, I understand deeply the incredible genius, sacrifice, humility, selflessness, and discipline that it takes to shoulder the responsibility for another person’s life. This sense of commitment to family is cultural for me. The women in my family have set an incredible bar—they have in many ways sacrificed their own lives, deferred their own dreams, and worked themselves into a lifetime of exhaustion just so that I could achieve my goals and live my life fully. They have taught me that love is not a sentiment; it is an action— every lesson taught, every room cleaned, every meal prepared, every disciplinary action made, every value imparted was an act of love.

The responsibility of sculpting and molding another soul is quite intimidating. Though I have three degrees, the only education that I have received on motherhood has been the model set by the women in my family. In many ways the role they have played as educators in our family has been an important one—they educated us about how to be a family, how to create what family is. Our families teach us valuable lessons from the day we are born. On our day of birth, the first lesson is unconditional love and self-sacrifice—only sheer love can drive the will to tear one’s body apart to bring a child into the world. I want to build on the foundation set by my mother and grandmother. I want to lay down an even greater legacy for my children and my community to inherit.

Advice for Black men and women?

Remember the spirit of our culture.  I have a picture of a couple with a little girl right after emancipation. They are dressed in their Sunday best and carrying suitcases as they head off on their journey up north. I look at that picture and I see several things.  I see a commitment to being excellent–who dresses in their Sunday best to walk to another state? Cultural pride, optimism, and hope cause you to show up at your best even when the road will be long and hard.  I also see a commitment to family.  Contrary to popular opinion–black folks do value family–they do love one another.  It makes me remember the fact that when slaves were freed men would walk miles to find wives that had been sold to other plantations–a true commitment to their love bond. We need to remember that. I also have a picture of a little boy passed out among cotton –worn out after a hard, long day picking cotton. He is about 10.  I have always kept that picture on my wall–in college and now as a professional. It reminds me that I am so blessed to work in beautiful offices, on beautiful campuses, doing work that I love. So many people have worked so hard so that we can live full lives–how dare we fail to live up to our true potential.  That little boy could have been a brilliant thinker or a talented artist. He was robbed of that opportunity…so we need to actualize all of our talents and not waste away living lives of mediocrity.

What are you working on that we need to check out?

I have a book being released on February 15th.  It is titled, “My Culture, My Color, My Self: Heritage, Resilience, and Community in the Lives of Young Adults.” Understanding our cultural heritage and sharing a cultural community’s history helps motivate individuals to take agency and create change within their communities. But are today’s youth appreciative of their culture, or apathetic towards it?  We often imagine our cultural historians, storytellers, and griots to be elders—those that have lived long lives with deep meaning. But the seeds of insight and wisdom don’t take very long to grow. Whether due to the nurturing sources of the sun and rain (family love and encouragement) or because of toxic pesticides (poverty and oppression) our young flowers grow up fast. And they have incredible stories to tell. The voices and cultural experiences of young adults need to be heard. However, across many ethnicities today, folks often wonder if younger generations have what it takes to keep culture alive. Culture is not simply an individual experience– there is a strong sense of group ownership and history.   And the group is becoming increasingly worried about the sustainability and future outlook of their cultural heritage. The torch is still burning, but many older generations are worried that young people may not have the stamina and training to keep the fire lit. Heritage inspires more than pride it inspires leadership. Cultural leadership compels us to remember and appreciate a culturally driven life ethic—a sense of community, a drive to create and imagine, and a value for making time to tell the story. In this book, I illustrate that young people today not only have ideas and perspectives on culture, but they have also lived truly incredible and awe-inspiring lives.

The book is available for pre-order online:

http://www.amazon.com/Culture-Color-Self-Resilience-Community/dp/1439908303

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-culture-my-color-my-self-toby-s-jenkins/1112110829?ean=9781439908303

Where can we find you online?

tobyjenkins.weebly.com

DANGERMASLOGO

365 Days of Dangermas: Day 36

DANGERMASLOGODay 36 – February 5, 2013:

I am late as hell with Dangermas today, but it was Senia’s birthday and I had homework to finish. My daughter turned 11 today! The years fly by. I still can’t believe I am someone’s mom! My mom made her famous Snicker Cake and only the three of us had some…so far! The candles, not the cake are in the Dangermas tree 🙂

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If you’d like to donate items to the Dangermas tree, please view our wishlist for ideas, or you can send ornaments or other light weight items to:

Dangerous Lee

PO Box 7317

Flint, MI 48507

  • 365 Days of Dangermas: Day 28 (dangerouslee.biz)
  • 365 Days of Dangermas: Day 29 (dangerouslee.biz)
  • 365 Days of Dangermas: Day 31 (dangerouslee.biz)
  • 365 Days of Dangermas: Day 32 (dangerouslee.biz)
Romney

Facebook Set Trippin’: Ecard Inspired by Romney Starts Drama

The moral police strike my Facebook page again! This Ecard and conversation is in response to Romney’s following statement during the latest Presidential debate: “Get married first before having children”, in response to a question about automatic weapons and gun control.

Whenever anyone implies that single mothers are to blame for anything negative in the world I take offense. I am a single mother and I was raised by a single mother. My mother never married, but she would like to have been married. She didn’t have more children because she didn’t want to have more children out of wedlock. Being a single parent is hard work and a hard decision to make. I became pregnant at the age of 26 while using birth control, so I did not plan to become a mother, but I made the choice to have my child. Will I have another child? No! Do I want to be married? No! In my opinion, marriage is a sham and I don’t need or want a POTUS that thinks anyone having children while they’re unmarried is responsible for raising violent citizens.

Those of you who think that I or my mother should have gotten married before we had our children can quite frankly kiss our asses. Don’t worry, we both have enough ass to go around. Marriage is not some form of magic heal the world and the child solution that stops children from becoming assholes, criminals, and deviants. When statements are made that single parent households are somehow responsible for kids growing up and becoming criminals that is an insult to all single mothers and their children. It’s a blanket statement that’s also a lie. During the above conversation it was stated that statistics show most men in jail are products of a single parent household (which actually has nothing to do with the initial statement made by Romney because he was talking about people who use automatic weapons to commit mass murderers, but people with statistical info have just gotta share it. Too bad there are no real stats on the background of mass murderers who use automatic weapons)

Any ‘ol way, check out one of the first articles I found when asking the question: Are most men in jail from single parent homes? The article is from 2002, but I’m sure the numbers are still relevant. There are also other factors that come into play regarding these men being in jail who are from single parent homes. It’s not a black and white issue. For a realistic look at what a typical single parent is like, visit here.

Another image that inspired a great conversation. Cmaurice breaks it down!

I didn’t plan to become a single mother. It’s not something that I put on my planner ten years ago. I’m not happy about it, but guess what, I am doing the best I can on my own, just as my mother did before me. Wanna know who’s not doing his best? The father of my child. He chooses not to be involved in his daughters life and that’s also his loss because our daughter is smart, creative, beautiful and wishes he was around. Most single mothers, for better or worse, stick around and raise their children. Where the hell are the non custodial fathers that chose not to be involved? If you insist on placing blame, sprinkle a lil’ bit on the absent fathers and then sit your judgmental ass down.

In fact, lets stop the blaming, judging, and insulting all together because it benefits no one; least of  all the children. I deleted Rajen (someone I once respected), the faceless wonder you see commenting in the first image above because he became blatantly disrespectful and hurtful with his comments towards me. There were more than 30 comments made on this topic and things got very hot, but ended on a chill note. Enjoy the conversation and feel free to join in. Note: You will have to scroll down a bit to find each post, but I highlighted them for you 🙂

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Chicken Wings: An Obsession!

I’m not sure when or how it happened, but I am addicted to chicken wings! I have always been partial to dark meat, legs and thighs, and I avoided wings like the plague, but in 2011 chicken wings are the only part of the bird I consume.

In January, while in California, I had chicken wings at Hooters for the first time. I think this is what sparked the addiction. After I got home when I had my moms chicken wings and noodle soup, that sealed the deal! I have eaten my moms chicken wings and noodle soup countless times, but this time the wings seemed to satisfy me in a way that they never have before.

I’m not sure why I have shunned the chicken wing in the past. Maybe it’s the retarded (yea, I used that word) part of the wing that you can’t eat that I found unappealing, or maybe because I have given up eating so much red meat and pork that chicken wings are an acceptable substitute.

In fact, I cooked chicken wings twice this week! I need more recipes folks, what are some other tasty ways to prepare chicken wings other than fried with hot sauce drizzled over them?

PS: Alan Roger Currie, I finally understand where you’re coming from 🙂