God Fearing Men Want Sex Too! Why I’ve Slept With White Men And Will Do It Again Dangerous Lee Interview: Comedian – Kris Shaw Book Spotlight: Dana Ellington Myles – Diva #KeepitDangerous! Moment: Princess Diana #KeepitDangerous! Moment: Wonder Woman Why Are Celebrities Still Afraid Of Coming Out? … Continue reading
By Cleo Manago, CEO and founder of the Black Men’s Xchange (BMX) By now you may have heard about the recent scandal surrounding Mister Cee, a well-known hip-hop DJ in New York City. Mister Cee was “caught” on tape soliciting a … Continue reading
Natasha and Tim of Odd Hours are some talented mofos (besides music). Tim is responsible for the photography of my book, Keep Your Panties Up and Your Skirt Down. Natasha is the director of Tunde Olaniran’s bad ass music video, … Continue reading
Good for him and it’s also good for the Black community, a community that continues to shun and discourage those who are part of the LGBTQ community. However, I’ll be glad when the day comes that someone being gay or … Continue reading
Realizing that you are attracted to the same sex can occur gradually or very suddenly; it can happen when you are seventy or when you are three. It can change and fluctuate or remain constant. Thinking you are gay and … Continue reading
There’s no such thing as a man purse, a purse is a purse! - Deon Jackson
Okay, so a purse is a purse! I like man purses or murses, whatever you want to call them. Many of my male friends have their pant pockets stuffed with items that weigh them down and poke them in the ass when they sit down. Why not get a stylish man purse and slap it over your chest or wear it like Kiefer does in the photo above?
Is it an attack on your manhood to own a man purse? Does it mean you’re gay? Metrosexual? An artist? Does it make you effeminate? Is it a celebrity thing? Or is it a cultural thing? I think a man has to be very secure in his manhood and sexuality to carry a man purse with confidence. I like to see men carry a man purse like this…
A man purse says to me that he’s fashionable, organized, and about his business. I really do think it’s sexy. Just about every man I’ve asked, gay or straight, about the man purse has grimaced. Maybe it’s because it’s called a purse and purses are associated with women’s bags. OK, so call it a satchel, a briefcase, or whatever you want, but why should purses only be for women? Men have a lot of stuff to carry too!
Here are a couple of goofy looking examples:
Black men rock them too, in smaller sizes!
We are often fascinated with what we cannot have, especially the people we cannot have. At some point we’ve all longed for the unreachable – that unavailable love. Whether they are unavailable because of marriage, distance, age, celebrity status, etc., the heart still yearns and wants what it wants.
Perhaps one of the most fascinating cases of unattainable love is that of the straight woman towards the gay male. I’m not talking about women who have a close knit relationship with gay males and see them as confidants, best buds, or big brothers. I’m talking about straight women who fall head over heels in love with gay men and are dead set on dragging them down the aisle.
It’s not hard to understand the appeal. More times than not, the gay male is extremely good looking, takes excellent care of his body, has a fun outgoing personality, and actually listens when a woman speaks or needs to pour her heart out. These qualities sometime turn the straight woman from good friend to prowess – ready to battle his sexuality until victory is hers. The quest for the unattainable begins.
Truth be told, there’s no real harm in falling for or crushing on a gay man, or anyone else you can’t have. It’s good to fantasize – it keeps the brain active! The problem occurs when you allow your love and fascination for the unattainable to interfere with the realistic opportunities that are all around you. Saving yourself for a gay man because you feel in your hear t that you’re the woman that’s gonna make him go straight is an unrealistic life plan. In fact, you’re setting yourself up for a long, lonely, unfulfilled life. It’s not impossible. Yes, it’s happened. Gay men have indeed fallen in love with women. But it’s a rare occurrence and your dreams shouldn’t be built upon rarities.
What’s the saying? All the good men are either gay or married. Well, that may seem like the case, but it doesn’t mean you should stop looking. Besides, if you come across to desperate or too strong towards the gay male of your dreams, you could end up making him extremely uncomfortable and push him away. Isn’t having some type of relationship with him better than not having any part of him at all?
Knowing the difference between reality and fantasy is the key. Go ahead and chase the gay man all you want – flirt, bend over, show your cleavage, bat your eyes, do all your secret tricks, but just know that it ends there. Don’t waste too much time trying to seduce Mr. Not Interested because Mr. Very Interested may pass you by.
- VL on the DL
- The Allure of the Gay Male (dangerouslee.biz)
Use of the words “fag” or “faggot” is in heavy rotation these days. I have not had the displeasure of hearing any of his material, but apparently, Tyler the Creator, frontman of Odd Future uses the word “faggot” more than 200 times on his CD, Goblin. Tyler recently told MTV News, “Well I have gay fans and they don’t really take it offensive, so I don’t know. If it offends you, it offends you.”
How does he know that all his fans (whoever they are) are not offended by his use of the word “faggot”, has he spoken to all of them?
Tyler has also been quoted as saying, I’m not homophobic. I just think ‘faggot’ hits and hurts people. It hits. And ‘gay’ just means you’re stupid. I don’t know, we don’t think about it, we’re just kids. We don’t think about that s—. But I don’t hate gay people. I don’t want anyone to think I’m homophobic. If you call me a n***a, I really don’t care, but that’s just me, personally. Some people might take it the other way, I personally don’t give a s—.”
As goofy as he looks and sounds, does he have a point? Calling a man a faggot is the quickest way to piss him off and kids today don’t fully understand the impact of the word “nigger” but are familiar with the term “nigga” which has very different meaning. People also use words that are politically incorrect when they call someone stupid or dumb, such as, “gay”, “faggot”, or “retarded” and some woman call each other bitches as a term of endearment. Furthermore, some gay people call each other “fag” as a term of endearment.
Is this simply a case of mistaken context identity? Meaning, are people taking the use of “fag” out of context in this situation? Does it offend you?
- Odd Future: 213 Uses of ‘Faggot’ Not Homophobic (theroot.com)
- Tyler, The Creator Defends His Use Of Other F-Word (mtv.com)
- Rapper Says Gay Fans Don’t Mind His Homophobic Language (redbeardedoctopus.wordpress.com)
“Weird, soulful, old school, catchy, uplifting. All of these words have been used by listeners to describe Tunde’s style. One moment, a chorus of vocals soar over a sitar raga, the next, he sings quietly over a spare Casio keyboard, 808, and gulping tablas. Armed with a strange, wonderful new sound, solid vocals, and commanding stage presence, Tunde is prepared to share his music with the world.”
Many people also use the word “gay” to describe Tunde. Why is it that a gay man is only thought to be one way, feminine or androgynous? Why is it that a straight man is only seen as one way, butch or thuggish? Would people be worried about Tunde’s sexuality if he were a White man?
I HAD TO ASK THE QUESTION:
Dangerous: Many times I am often asked by others in the community, “What’s up with your boy, Tunde? Is he gay?” Do you have to deal with people questioning your sexuality often? If so, how do you react?
Side note: Before I knew the answer to this question, I would simply answer that I did not know, but I would inquire why they asked or why they cared. Basically it was Black men or other men of color who have asked. They respect Tunde’s talent but felt that his style of dress and overall demeanor was not typical of what they were used to as far as straight men are concerned.
When I learned the answer to the question, I would further explain that he’s an artist, as an artist myself I am often misjudged or misunderstood and I often find that people do not “get me” at all. A persons sexuality is a non factor to me. Tunde is an awesome person and that’s all I care about in anyone.
OK, ON TO TUNDE’S RESPONSE…
Tunde: It’s interesting because people pretty much make up their minds without ever directly asking me. It’s not really a “question” for them as much as it’s like them being sure already! It’s very rare that someone asks me.
So, even though there might not really be a point because people think what they want to think, I’ll answer the inferred question: I’m a weird, androgynous heterosexual lol. I express my “gender” and “race” in a way that’s atypical, or queer. I don’t mean queer as in “gay;” I mean queer as in just really freaking strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint. In terms of my personal practices/preferences, I don’t have/want same-sex romantic or physical relationships.
In some ways, people assuming I’m gay helps me know *their* true colors more than anything else. If they assume I’m gay and treat me well, then I know they are probably good people! The funniest part is when I’ve had to “come out” to LGBTQ friends as heterosexual; or guys have asked my gay friends if I’m gay because they want to ask me out!
All in all, I don’t have an issue with questions about my sexuality. As long as someone’s uncertainty doesn’t stop them from treating me with respect, then I’m good.
Watch This – Tunde Olaniran Live! Can you spot Dangerous Lee?
- Is there a gay gene? | Head to head (guardian.co.uk)
- Is Heterosexuality Real? (thoughtcatalog.com)
- Dangerous Lee Appears on MTV! (dangerouslee.biz)
- Why you don’t get to call me queer (thekevinmcgowan.wordpress.com)
- Black LGBT Educators Series: Jonte Lee, Washington, D.C. (youthprideservices.org)
- A Letter to Parents of LGBT Youth (joeyrusso.wordpress.com)