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Dangerous Black Woman: Dr. Carolyn Edwards

Dr.Edwards

I am a dangerous woman because I live every day to the fullest by using my gifts and talents to help others live successfully even through the pitfalls of life. Ten Years ago I lost all of my material possessions in a fire. I had nothing, just got divorced, was ill and my father died but I kept pressing on because I knew my life had meaning. I never gave up. I completed my PhD in management and started to look for my purpose. By setting goals and taking action I now coach, train and teach others to do the same. I write books, speak and train to encourage, motivate and inspire people to achieve their dreams.

My new book; I Look Good I Feel Good I Am Good: The Woman’s Guide to Love, Peace and Happiness,includes true stores of every day phenomenal women. The stories include details of how they triumphed using the practical steps to overcome low self-esteem, divorce, cancer, obesity, joblessness and domestic violence to name a few. Women are a gift to the world. Only women can give life and that is a powerful purpose. We must use our lives to help others. Many times people want to know they are not alone. My prayer is that my life helps people all around the world to treasure theirs.

I have spent my life in various careers but my basic purpose always stayed the same. Whether working for myself, teaching in a college classroom or working for the government I always did my best to inspire others to love their lives. Whether being a wife, mom, sister or friend my goal is to be positive and speak life into those that cross my path. I am a dangerous woman because I focus my time on what matters, helping others live fully. I am a dangerous woman because I know there is no such thing as super woman but I do everything with excellence.

I am a dangerous woman because I am leaving a legacy of inspirational tools, books and talks that will live long after I am gone. I am a dangerous woman because I am willing to work to make this world a better place. I am a dangerous woman because I love who I am and how I was made. I am a dangerous woman because I know my worth and that there is no one on this earth like me that can do what I do the way I do it. I am a dangerous woman because at the end of the day, I exist, work and behave in such a way that God can say well done. You used everything I gave you to make this world a better place and you enjoyed your life, loved and helped others throughout the journey.

DrCarolynEdwards.com

11 Tips To Keep You Fucking Your Fuck Buddy

Victor’s Tips To Keep You Fucking Your Fuck Buddy

sex on couch

  1. I didn’t come over to spend time with you or go to dinner. I came over to satisfy our primitive desires. Don’t throw on a movie unless you have no intention of watching it.
  2. We are not friends (friends with benefits are different), we are fuck buddies. This relationship exists for sex, don’t clog it up with a friendship or relationship, this only ends in feelings being hurt.
  3. Don’t make sex more than it is. It is just sex and not a big deal. Fuck buddies require a certain amount of sexual maturity and confidence, always be sure to create these relationships with other people who can handle it.
  4. This isn’t fuck and tell. This isn’t about some great story or telling your friends, this is our business keep it to ourselves.
  5. Don’t call/text me while the sun is up, spend time with the sun up around folks you care about, not with me. Obviously not everyone works days but the point is this is all about sex, not spending time together. This is a sun down relationship, heels up relationship.
  6. Warn me when you are gaining feelings, and communicate your thoughts.
  7. Gain a code for sex with each fuck buddy. Everyone has their own little quirk. A woman I know use to send me an “I’m cold will you warm me up?”
  8. You are not seeing anyone. You aren’t kind of in a relationship, you are just fucking. You are free to see whoever you want and they are too.
  9. No more than 3 sessions a week, anymore and you are spending too much time together. If you want someone to fuck everyday find a relationship.
  10. Always wear protection! I don’t care if they say they aren’t seeing anyone else. Protect yourself at all times, you aren’t in a relationship.
  11. Define it as a fuck buddy relationship. Definition is very key in any relationship but it is especially true in fuck buddies. People can gain feelings but definition helps lay down the rules early on. If you don’t want a relationship and they do this isn’t going to be a good start.

That is kind of the basic thought I take on with Fuck buddies. I avoid anything that can lead to a relationship, that means spending time together, staying over, eating together, going out, etc. I make sure that it is an arrangement defined and kept private. I let them know that it is a relationship that requires controlling your emotions, all about having good sex, and it requires sexual confidence and maturity.

via Tips To Keep You Fucking Your Fuck Buddy.

What Men Want From Intimacy

african-american-couple-flirting

By Dr. Jeff Davis

Have you ever wondered what a man looks for when it comes to intimacy? Contrary to popular belief, intimacy to a man is much more than sex.

One way to view the word intimacy is to look at it as “into-me-see”. This is where someone gets so close to you that you can see inside of them. You get to see the real person and not the one that is displayed to the world.

It is very hard for men to develop intimate relationships. Women tend to be much more relational and can enter into intimate relationships as long as there are emotional connections. But men have learned how to disconnect their feelings from what they want. A man may walk away from a good woman if he feels like she is not being intimate with him.

Let me share some keys to intimacy when it comes to a man;

1) Men want to connect on a physical level (not sexual) – yes, men want to meet with women and find something physical they can connect with. I remember when I was dating my wife that I was in love with basketball and watched many games on TV. She didn’t understand the game but sat down and watched it with me. Then over time she would come and sit and ask questions. Over time she learned the game and watching basketball became one of our pastime pleasures. When the playoffs came she could sit in a room with me and my friends and hold her on in a sports conversation. My friends said their significant others refused to do that. I ended up in a 30 year relationship.

2) Men want to connect on a sexual level – sex is very important to a man. They are looking for a partner who understands his needs and is responsive to meeting them. The only thing worse than no sex is bad sex (sexual relations with a woman who is non responsive and non participatory). When a man feels like a woman is giving her whole self to him he finds it to be a most intimate experience.

3) Men cannot connect to every woman intimately – there must be connection for a man to find intimacy with a woman. Just because she is a female doesn’t mean he can connect with her. He must find someone who he can come close to and be comfortable while doing it.

Men are strange beings indeed.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Jeff_Davis

http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Men-Want-From-Intimacy&id=8197472

4 Simple Truths a Woman Should Know About Her Man

black-couple-on-beach3

By Makoo L.

It’s well known and a joke among many that men and women seem to be from different planets. They think different and have a different way of seeing things. An example would be the difference in their emotional actions and reasoning.

What sometimes happens is you might get upset over something your guy said. You may have taken what he said wrong only because of the way it came across when he really meant no harm. This could leave you giving him the silent treatment and your guy wondering what the heck happened.

When a relationship get this way there is a lot of tension and the arguments and fighting start. Fortunately it does not have to be like that. When you figure out some simple truths about men then you will be able to better figure them out and that can make your relationship a lot less stressful. Below are some tips to get you started.

1. It may not make sense but your guy loves you just the way you are. But, he would really like you to never change from the person you were when he first met you. As we get older and become comfortable in our relationships we can start to take each other for granted and lose some of who we once were.

2. Have you ever asked him what he was thinking about and he says nothing? You may believe there is no way he is thinking about nothing but the truth is it can be true. He is not hiding anything from you or not sharing his thoughts. He is just in his own world not worrying about things at that moment.

3. Men have a different way of displaying their love to their girlfriends, wives and family. They may have a deep love for them but you won’t see it out in the open as you would with women. They are more internal with their feeling so it can be deceiving at times. Don’t expect him to tell you how much he loves you every day but you can be sure the love is there.

4. Even though he would like to see you the same as when you first met, he also does not want to change himself. He would be happy to sit in his favorite chair each night, resist exercising or fight the temptation to improve his diet. So if you start to push him to make changes you may see him putting up some resistance.

Once you have a grasp of these simple things about men you may be able to navigate your relationship a bit better. Let’s hope you will gain a renewed appreciation and your relationship grows stronger.

Are you having a low point in your relationship or have recent experienced a break up?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Makoo_L.

http://EzineArticles.com/?4-Simple-Truths-a-Girl-Should-Know-About-Her-Guy&id=8188256

Can Women Get Sex Whenever They Want?

onewomanmanymen

Being constantly chatted up by strange men in a bar would probably drive anyone to drink.

It’s Christmas – the season for making merry, going out and, if you’re single, trying to snog people under the mistletoe before the pubs close. So I thought it would be a good time to look at one of the oldest assumptions in the Men vs Women book: can women get sex whenever they want, while men are doomed to wait on the sidelines until our sexual fancy falls upon them?

I don’t like the bar example. First, and most obviously, it is not universally true. There are women (and I am one of them) who have walked up to guys in bars, asked them for sex, and been flat-out refused. Likewise I’ve known men who have been able to get quick and easy sex with very little effort.

Second, not only does the bar example prop up unhelpful stereotypes about men (that they always want sex, because biology and testosterone and grrr), it also drives a hammer-blow into the self-esteem of any woman who has been turned down for a casual shag. Claiming that women can get sex just by clicking their fingers sets horny women up for a lifetime of disappointment, and gives men a reputation they can never possibly live up to.

Read full article via Can women get sex whenever they want? | Girl on the Net | Science | theguardian.com.

Anal Sex Tips – Your Guide to Entering Through the Rear

anal sex

You’ve been considering giving anal sex a try, but you weren’t sure if you will enjoy it.

Relax; the anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that feel amazing when stimulated by a tongue, finger, penis, or toy. Before engaging in anal sex, you should be completely prepared – mentally and physically. Foreplay before anal sex is not only fun, but downright necessary.

Here are our top ten tips for enjoying anal sex:

1. Cleanliness is… Important

You want all of your intimate moments to be memorable, especially your anal sex experience. You just don’t want to remember any brown residue after your partner withdraws from your anus. This residue could be fecal matter and/or a combination of fecal matter and mucus membranes. There isn’t much you can do to eliminate your mucus membranes, but you can control your bowels. Prior to engaging in anal sex include a diet high in fiber to keep your colon clean. Short on time? Try using an anal douche or enema about an hour before intercourse. This will allow any remaining fluid from the enema or douche to exit your body making your experience more comfortable. Remember, you can jump into the shower afterward to refresh yourself and your partner.

Read more via Anal Sex Tips – Your Guide to Entering Through the Rear | blog.embracedesires.com.

How to Keep a Man

keep-a-man-happy

By Cheryl T.

Be yourself.

Don’t portray yourself as bashful if you are really flamboyant. Some people’s personalities clash with those of other people. You want be able to keep up the facade for long. Besides, you don’t want to waste anyone’s time or cause them unnecessary suffering. Your mate will sense that something about you is not on the up-and-up and either lose interest or begin distancing himself from you if he is already emotionally involved.

Check-out your male friends

While you are hanging out with the fellows, pay attention to the ones that you enjoy being around the most. Take note of the things they have in common. For example, do they all have the same zodiac sign, do the same type of work, or are they all around the same age? It would be a good idea to pursue this type of guy more seriously.

Confide in the opposite sex

Your female friends and acquaintances may not know as much about men as they think they do. And much of what many of them think they know is speculation. You don’t interact with women the same as you do with men. So your male counterparts will be better able to tell you what issues you have that are keeping you from getting a man.

Know your place in his life

Take into consideration what is going on in your life right now. Are you experiencing emotional or financial hardship? There’s a good chance that you are not ready for a relationship. The guy you are interested in pursuing at this time may have only come into your life to deliver a message or only as a friend. If you do become involved at this time, he may become overwhelmed by your issues and walk away. Or then again he may stick around—preventing you from meeting or keeping the next guy you were meant to have a relationship with in the future.

Behave as if you already have a man

Mean are known for liking and disliking certain things about women. They are attracted to and want to be around women who are well-groomed, active, and friendly.

Get rid of any preconceived notions you have about men

This doesn’t mean you should throw caution to the wind. But if you approach and treat each member of the opposite sex as if the are likeable and worthy of love and affection, your experience with them can be unique and enjoyable.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cheryl_T.
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Keep-a-Man&id=8157188

 

Relationships: Do Some People Have Sex To Experience Love?

sex facts

By Oliver J R Cooper

When it comes to being a human being, there are certain needs that each one of us has. And while there can be certain differences between people, these are ones that apply to more or less everyone.

But while needs are something that each one of us have, it doesn’t mean that one always feels comfortable with having them. Having needs can feel like a burden and one can end up feeling ashamed for having them.

So it is not always a case of having them and then getting them met in a way that is relatively straight forward. It could be that one has them and yet feels incredible awkward having them and sees them as something that one wishes they never even had.

This means that one is not independent and that they are inherently interdependent. To feel there is something wrong with having needs is then to feel that there is something wrong with being human.

And even though being human means being interdependent, it doesn’t mean that one feels comfortable with this truth. Independence is often seen as the way to be and as a sign that one has grown up. However, if one was to take a deeper look, they would soon see that it is just a word and doesn’t reflect the nature of reality.

Needs

These needs that each one of us has are going to cover a wide range of things. And some of these will be able to be fulfilled by friends and family, and others will only be able to be met through having an intimate relationship.

While one can cuddle a friend or a family member for instance; this will never be the same as if they were cuddling another man or woman who they are in a relationship with for example.

Friends and family can only provide a certain degree of nurturing; in order for one to experience something deeper and broader they will have to be in a relationship. The physical side of things is one of the great benefits of being in a relationship with another person.

Love

Here one can experience being connected and loved by another human being. Love obviously relates to more than just having ones physical needs met, but this is one part of it. If a group of people were asked what love means to them, in relation to a relationship, it is inevitable that being: held, touched and caressed would be mentioned. Either through these words or through others words that mean the same thing.

Although one has these physical needs and therefore desires to be in a relationship, as a way to fulfill these needs and many others, it doesn’t mean that this feels right or comfortable for them.

Associations

So at a deeper level one will have these needs and these can’t be removed, no matter what one does or doesn’t do. However, due to certain experiences that one has had in their life, from birth and up until the present moment, one can feel at odds with them.

The natural need to be in a relationship with another can then end up being sabotaged. And not because of what is taking place externally, but as a result of what is going on within someone.

These associations can include all kinds of meanings and yet there are a few that will have a big impact. Here one can end up feeling that if they were to be in a relationship and have these physical needs met, they would be: smothered, engulfed, trapped and overwhelmed. As well as a deep feeling of shame for having needs and that one could be abandoned and rejected for having them.

Still There

To have these associations is going to cause conflict and they will end up creating problems when it comes to experiencing intimacy. But even though this division does exist within someone, it doesn’t mean that one’s physical needs will simply disappear.

They are still going to be there and instead of them being met through a relationship, one can use another way to get them met. And while this way will not be truly fulfilling, what it will do is allow one to momentarily experience what it would be like to be in a relationship.

Instant love

So what one can do as a way to experience the physical side of a relationship and without all their feelings coming up in regards to intimacy – is to have sex. This could be a casual relationship; where it’s purely sex or what is often classed as a one night stand.

One is then able to experience physical closeness, but without them having to feel their emotions in relation to intimacy. What can also take place is that one’s sex drive can increase, as a result of their physical needs not being met.

Sex Drive

One can then end up coming to the conclusion that they have a high sex drive and need to have plenty of sex in order to meet this need. But this could simply be a conditioned reflex and one that allows them to regulate their emotional pain.

At a deeper level, this could be a consequence of their need to experience physical intimacy not being met. As they only know how to meet this need by having sex; this is what feels comfortable and safe. When what this person really needs is to be intimate with another human being. And while sex will be a part of this, there will be so much more.

Awareness

If one can relate to this challenge and is having difficulty in having their needs met, it will be important for them to seek some kind of assistance. Because having needs is normal and if one feels that this is not the case, it will be a sign that some kind of letting go needs to occur.

It could be that one has trapped emotions and feelings in their body and these could go back to when one was a baby and a child. These can be released with the assistance of a therapist of a healer who allows one to face them and release them. As this takes place, one can begin to feel comfortable with having needs and embracing true intimacy; if that is what they desire.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include “A Dialogue With The Heart” and “Communication Made Easy.”

To find out more go to – http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group –
https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Oliver_J_R_Cooper
http://EzineArticles.com/?Relationships:-Do-Some-People-Have-Sex-To-Experience-Love?&id=8140169

Top Story: 5 Under-The-Radar Flags That You Should Dump Him…Now!

Let’s face it ladies—sometimes we are not the best at recognizing when we should make our way to the exit. Maybe it’s because we are so enamored with the idea of love. Maybe it’s because we have convinced ourselves that he will change over time. Or maybe we have even allowed ourselves to, in some ways, make do with a few of those items that really bother us because we’re “not getting any younger” (thanks for the reminder, Aunt Meg!).

The major signs that the relationship should end are fairly obvious, such as his being emotionally or physically abusive or cheating. But what about those less obvious signs that we (in our completely smitten state) are unable to recognize? Here are a few telling indications that cannot be ignored.

Dump-Him

1.  He Chooses Family Over You.

This is in no way meant to say that he should not love and cherish his family. But when his family commitments come at the expense of your inclusion, take note! I once dated a guy pretty seriously for 6 months. After that amount of time and having spent a significant amount of time with his immediate family, I was under the impression that I was in some way considered part of the family. But when his second cousin’s wedding approached and he told me he would be busy with his family that weekend, I was mortified. Any guy you’ve been dating for several months or longer ought to include you in family events. If not, it’s as if he does not consider making you part of his (future) family.

2.  He Does Not Appreciate Your Enthusiasm.

OK, so you’re a fun and energetic lady that knows how to enjoy herself. But when your being “too spirited” leads to his crushing that feisty side of you that your friends call “your best asset,” it’s time to dump the loser! I once went to a football game (go Chargers!) where my (now ex) boyfriend told me my constant cheering and rowdiness was obnoxious and embarrassing. I was shocked by his reaction to my fun-loving nature- who doesn’t love getting on the jumbotron? Do not ever let a man make you think that some of the greatest things about you are ones he has to deal with—and not ones that make him love you all the more.

3.  He Uses “Being an Introvert” as an Excuse for Needing Time Away From You.

The emphasis here is on the word away. There’s definitely a place for quiet, meditative time in one’s schedule. But the longer you date someone, the more that both parties have to realize that being away becomes less of a solution for unwinding. This is because dating is ultimately intended to lead to marriage. That being the case, learning to spend time with each other (even down time), when you’re natural instinct is to want to be alone, is critical to the development of the relationship. If he cannot learn to appreciate you—and at all times—run! What would he do should you have married him… eat dinner in the other room while watching the game? Spend a night at a hotel so he can have a bit of quiet time? Not ok.

4.  He Thinks You Don’t Trust Him When You Voice Things That Bother You.

Let me take a moment and paint a picture for you. Girlfriend tells boyfriend she’ll be running a few minutes late and to please save her a seat. Upon her arrival, she enters the room and sees that there are no available seats around him, and is subsequently forced to sit alone. She later tells him how hurt she felt that he had not made sure she had a place next to him, and he gets mad at her for not trusting him. Are you baffled also? So was I. It was of no importance to him whether we sat together, and subsequently was not on his list of priorities (even though it mattered to me). If a man does not consider what is important to you as items that are important to him (i.e. sitting together), then he is not worth it… especially if he calls you out on your inability to trust because of it.

5.  He Starts to Slack Off.

Remember those early days in the beginning of the relationship when he would show up with flowers at your door or bought you things “just cause?” Pay attention to the fact that he doesn’t do that anymore, in spite of your continued efforts to make things special. Bottom line: you need to be cherished. Always. And if his affections are already waning, it’s time to reconsider him at all. As many of my married friends can attest, it only gets more difficult to keep the relationship exciting as time goes on. If already he treats you casually enough that romantic notes have become obsolete, move on!

Whether you’re like me and have just recently been through a bad breakup with an Edmonton criminal lawyer, or you are like my best friend who is dating a New York City financier, it’s important to always remember that you are worth every bit of love and affection. Don’t be fooled into thinking that you have a great catch because he doesn’t commit any of the major dating faux pas… these more under-the-radar flags are equally as unacceptable!

Victoria Ramos studied business and now blogs about developments in the field, as well as her other interests. She loves shopping, socializing, hosting parties, decorating, and writing. A native of San Diego, she most recently has expounded her interests in helping people with shopping and relationship advice to include issues regarding law, particularly from such companies like The Defence Team, as it is a growing area of interest for her.

5 Sex Positions All Men Should Try

waterfall

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Infographic: Top 10 Beauty Turn-offs Voted For By Men

It’s not often that we get to hear the male opinion about the actions that we take to enhance our beauty. Beauty blogs are written by women, for women; and we all have our own opinion about what looks best on ourselves, what is the most flattering and what we should avoid. However, it is sometimes a good idea to get feedback on any beauty choice we make from men, particularly if we are making ourselves beautiful for their benefit.

For this reason, the study depicted in this infographic asked a group of 1091 men to vote for their biggest beauty turn-offs, in order to find out what men really want. The overall result was that men prefer a natural appearance, and anything done to excess seems to have made it to the top ten beauty blunders.   Making it into the top ten are chapped lips, lipstick on your teeth, visible hair extensions and orange fake tan. Topping the list though with 17% of the votes is the heavy make up look. If you are overdoing your make up, be warned, you may be leaving the club alone.

This infographic was created by WebVoucherCodes.co.uk from the results of their survey of 1091 men carried out . The top ten beauty turn-offs have been ranked in order of the number of votes they received.

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Zen + Sex = Starting Over?

Zen-water

By Tina Tessina

Ready To Get Back Out There? 3 Must Knows

Men and women have to redefine themselves after a relationship ends, and reinvent their lives. If they do it well, it can lead to the most satisfying and successful years they’ve had. Dating successfully after divorce or a breakup require several steps to recover from the breakup.

  • Understanding what went wrong in the last relationship, so you don’t repeat the pattern.
  • Identifying the kind of partner you’re looking for and developing social networks involving these kinds of people.

Some people never date again or don’t do so for a long time. People who wait a long time, or never date are trying to avoid repeating old mistakes and having hurt feelings, loss, disappointment and grief. This is akin to not changing anything in your departed partner’s closet, because you don’t want to face the pain. A better way to do it is to work through the pain, and learn from it as you go. You can figure out what went wrong, what your mistakes were, and how to correct all that and re-think your idea of relationships. This may require the help of a therapist.

Once you’ve taken the steps needed to recover from a breakup, finding a new love is simple, because you’ve changed the odds to be in your favor. But there are a few tips to help you as you start dating again.

1. Don’t have sex right away with your new partner.

Keep in mind that, if you have sex right away, it usually brands the relationship as sex -only and you don’t get taken seriously. So, if you want to see if you can manage it, pick someone you’re attracted to, but realize there’s no relationship there. Also, if you are the type who bonds upon having sex, keep that in mind — your partner may not be, so make sure there’s some bonding there before you try it.

2. Take precautions when you do have sex.

Safer sex, of course. If you’re female, don’t just worry about pregnancy — make sure you’re informed about disease, as well. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) can be deadly and devastating, so always provide a condom and insist on using it unless you’re both tested and in a committed relationship (with someone you can trust).

3. Deal with the awkwardness of sex with a new partner.

I recommend the zen idea of a beginner’s mind: Accept that everything you’re doing now is new to you, and open yourself to learning about it. Wide-eyed wonder at whatever happens is very attractive. I’m not talking about being brainless or thoughtless. On the contrary. A beginner’s mind is alert, observing, and open to new ideas. Your objective is to learn – about what people are doing, who they are, what the possibilities are and how it all fits in to your goals.

Everything you’ve learned about relationships and dating in your past is certainly useful, and you’ll draw on it as we go along, but your general approach to this process is as a beginner — ‘I’m new at this, I want to learn.’ Because you are a beginner, you can open lots of conversations by simply asking questions about what’s going on.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tina_Tessina

http://EzineArticles.com/?Zen-+-Sex-=-Starting-Over?&id=8099704

 

 

5 Ways To Save Your Relationship

Couple sitting up in bed, both looking away   Original Filename: couple.jpg

When the honeymoon period is over and a relationship has become a solid commitment, many couples easily slip into a stagnant relationship rut, which, if not handled correctly, can lead to the unfortunate untimely demise of a coupledom that shouldn’t have ended. Just because your relationship is starting to feel dull and boring, or you’re starting to have regular arguments over petty issues, doesn’t mean that you no longer love each other and that you and your partner should call time on your relationship. Instead, use that bored feeling as a trigger for attempting to improve your relationship.

For couples who are eager to work on their relationship and avoid breaking up, here are five ways to save your relationship and stay in love.

Don’t Propose

Many opt for what they feel is the natural solution when it comes to saving relationships and propose to their partners, or begin trying for a family. This is absolutely the worst way to save a dwindling relationship, as you could either be bringing a child into an unhappy relationship, or through marriage, committing yourself to a lifetime of unfulfillment.

If your relationship is suffering, you should not be making any long-term commitments in an effort to resolve current issues. Instead, both partners should be working to adapt and change to make the relationship better, so hold your marriage proposals for when the both of you are truly happy.

Take a Holiday

Taking a break from the real world and its daily commitments can really do wonders for any relationship in romantic trouble, as it means that you can forget the pressures of everyday life and spend time focusing on the needs of one another.

The reason why most relationships fail is because one, or both, partners neglect to place proper time allocation to their relationship, and rather than spend quality time together, only see each other late in the evening and spend that time discussing work issues and other problems. Taking a couples holiday is not so much about experiencing a new culture, but more to do with learning more about your partner.

Invest in Understanding

Relationships can be tricky things to navigate, and often individuals can get lost in a sea of emotions, unable to decipher which are important, which are minor and even what the feelings mean. Interpreting emotions within a relationship has never been easy for anyone, but for those that are experiencing emotional strains and resistance from their partners, misinterpreting feelings can lead to the demise of their romance.

Couples that find themselves involved in heated arguments, or periods or stunted emotional understanding should invest in a course that helps them with their personal emotional awareness and with interpreting that of others. A short course in NLP will help couples understand each other’s emotions and their own, whilst allowing them to learn body language techniques and personal skills that will aid your communication.

Look after Yourself

Everyone knows that the only way to have a successful, long term relationship is to feel confident and content with yourself, yet many of us fail to spend time developing ourselves and allocating time to spend on our personal interests and hobbies.

Spend some time doing what you love to do, reading books, taking music lessons, or exercising, and develop strength as a person that will allow you to feel adequate as an individual, meaning that you will feel more comfortable with your partner and within your relationship.

Beth Stubbings thinks that too many couples end their relationships and the first sign of trouble, when instead they should be spending time working to improve it. She would recommend Performance Partnership for couples and individuals looking to have better emotional understanding and get the happy relationship they want.

 

Can Sex Create The Illusion of Love?

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By Oliver J R Cooper

In today’s world the general approach towards sex has changed and instead of it being something that one engages in after a certain time, it can take place without too much time having passed. And like most things in life, there are pros and cons to this type of behavior.

For some people, having sex will lead to nothing more than physical pleasure and there won’t be any emotional ties created as a result. And then there will be other people who find it difficult to separate the physical side of things from the emotional.

But at the same time, given the right circumstance, each of these people could end up swapping roles. So someone who usually doesn’t feel anything could end up getting emotionally attached and the person, who usually gets attached, could have an experience that is only physical.

Different Styles

The first person could be said to be more suited for no strings attached relationships and the second person would be more suited to a relationship. But in today’s dating culture, this is not necessarily going to put someone off from going against their true wants and needs.

When the body has the urge, all sense of reason can go out of the window. And unless someone is extremely disciplined and emotionally together for instance, the temptation can be too much to resist.

Instant Gratification

So when one goes with what their body wants and has what could be described as instant pleasure, their mind and heart can also come to other conclusions about what is taking place.

It could be that one knows a few things about the other person or this could be an overstatement and they might not know anything whosoever about them. And if sex was something that always had no effect on someone, then ones lack of knowledge towards the other would not be a problem.

Consequences

For the person that simply engages in the physical side of things and then moves on with their life, the consequences are likely to be minimal. But when ones end up getting emotionally attached, there is going to be the potential for so much more to occur.

It is said that when one has sex their brain releases a hormone called oxytocin and what this can lead to is one feeling attached to the other person. And this can create the emotional experience of being in love.

When one is having sex with someone they appreciate and respect, usually their partner, this is going to enhance the relationship. And yet in the case where one knows very little about the other, this can cause all kinds of problems.

Projections

Through the brain releasing this hormone and one getting attached to the other person, ones perception of the other person can be inaccurate. So one will not see the other person in a way that is balanced or even accurate, they will see them in way that corresponds with the ideas in their head and emotions in their body.

These will end up being projected onto the other person and even if this person displays clear signs to the contrary, they can often end up being filtered out by the mind. And one is then no longer responding to the reality of the situation, what they are responding to is the internal model they have constructed of the other person.

Reality

Now, this internal idea of the other person that is creating the illusion could start to diminish after a short while or it could hang around for quite some time. One is then at the mercy of it and although their intellectual mind might wonder what is going on, their body and heart could be completely caught up in the illusion.

It can all depend on how attached one has become to the other person and what gets projected onto them. And this whole process can be influenced by what is going on for someone at an emotional level.

Emotional Attraction

Because while it could be said that one is being controlled by the chemicals or hormones that their brain is creating and are therefore powerless to what is taking place, they had to be in a certain place emotionally in order to be attracted to this person in the first place or they wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with. And what they are projecting onto the person is often what they have yet to realize within themselves.

It is clear that sex is a biological need and yet this need is also influenced by what is going on for someone emotionally. So one way of avoiding this kind of situation and projecting things onto someone that doesn’t posses them, is to deal with ones emotions.

This might stop one form engaging in sex before they know someone better or it might just lead to them seeing the other person in a way that more balanced. And to be aware of what one is projecting onto another and if these have any basis in reality.

Awareness

Through realizing the effects that hormones and emotions can have, one can decide if having sex straight away is in their best interests or not. One might also decide that they need to dig a little deeper and see what emotions need to be acknowledged, processed and released from within them.

And as this takes place, who one is attracted to and attracts will change, as will their behavior. As this happens, one will have less to project onto others and this is the result of one owing their own projections. What others can give and what they can’t, will then become more evident.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include “A Dialogue With The Heart” and “Communication Made Easy.”

To find out more go to – http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Oliver_J_R_Cooper
http://EzineArticles.com/?Relationships:-Can-Sex-Create-The-Illusion-Of-Love?&id=8058376

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