Him: Well…how do you know that?
Me: That’s an odd response coming from you. I never stopped loving you.
Him: That was hella random. No offense, but I don’t know how to respond to that.
Me: OK. I understand.
But, I didn’t understand. I still don’t. What I do understand is that the man I loved is dead. I am in love with a ghost. I love who he used to be. I do not love the man he is now and it’s obvious that he cannot or does not love me anymore.
This forces me to finally move on emotionally and try to make myself available to someone that will reciprocate my feelings though in my heart of hearts I have given up on the notion of true and real love.
How could I not? He was my first love. My true love and it was real, once. This hurts like hell and my heart is broken all over again. How in the hell is it still beating?
I hate that I love him. It’s a waste of emotion. I wish I knew how to make my heart move on along with the part of my mind that knows better.