Why I’m Rooting For Olivia Pope and President Fitz

Olivia Pope

They’re in love. The only reason their relationship is in the closet is because of politics. Lots of politics: he’s already married with children, he’s the President of the United States and he’s a White man. All these things and then some are keeping them from being in a happy relationship. Many of you are rooting for Mellie and only see Olivia as a side piece, but even Fitz’s wife knows better. His marriage is a sham and if he were not ruler of the free world, Fitz would divorce Mellie and marry Olivia before his signature was dry on the divorce papers.

Shonda Rhimes says she knows exactly how the show will end and I think it will be a happily ever after scenario, or at least I hope so. If we can’t get the Happily Ever After in the make believe world of television drama then what’s the point? Think about it…so many people are unhappily married, but stay together for things like religion, children or financial security. Is it ever worth it for those reasons? No! What about love? Passion? True devotion?

Mellie deserves her Happily Ever After too! She’s catching hell in her facade as the happy and perfect First Lady. She needs to be free to pursue true love and happiness with someone who loves her the way she should be loved. I think it would be great for her to also fall in love and have an affair. That would definitely add to the Scandal and it’s only fair. What’s good for the goose is always better for the gander.

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People Who Don’t Cuss Make Me Sick!

cuss

Are you one of those people who makes it a point of telling other people that you don’t cuss? Why do you do that?

Those of us that do cuss don’t care about your vocabulary and don’t appreciate the implication that because we do cuss that we are somehow less than you are or that we’re doomed to the fiery pit of hell.

So, you don’t cuss…fuck you!

Do you also give to charity, stop at yellow lights, wipe your feet before you enter a room or say hello to strangers? No one cares, goody two shoes!

Or, are you one of those people who are trying to stop cussing? Who or what are you trying to stop for? Lent? New Years? Your momma?

You obviously like using words like: fuck, bitch, asshole, damn and hell, so cuss away! “Fuck” and “asshole” are probably the only two legitimate offensive cuss words left.

They’re just words. Words that they, whoever the hell they are, deemed to be inappropriate. I’m not saying that your vocabulary should be overrun by cuss words, but if you clutch your pearls when you hear someone say “bitch” or “fuck”, you need to get a grip.

Recently I’ve read articles that say people who cuss are smarter, more honest, and trustworthy. I don’t know about all that, but I do know that I like cussing to express myself or to get a point across and I have been doing so since I was a child.

My mom used to cuss like a sailor and it rubbed off on me. My daughter also makes a mistake now and then and says “hell” or “ass”.

Do I get pissed? No, I laugh! She covers her mouth and apologizes like the sweet lil’ girl she is.

I have told her that she needs to use discretion when using cuss words because she will get in trouble if a teacher or other adult hears her and that cussing, like sex, is a mature adult activity but she has made it clear that she only cusses in private, rarely.

I halfway believe her.

The point is, cussing doesn’t mean you’re uneducated. It means you’re a wordsmith, Bitch!

 

Why I’ve Slept With White Men And Will Do It Again

leather

Photo by Davio Curo – No, I didn’t sleep with this White guy, but I have thought about it.

I bet you think I’m about to get deep, but you’re wrong. Why does anyone decide to have sex with a person? They’re attracted to them. It’s as simple as that. I don’t discriminate. I like men. Their color, race, or heritage is not important. Does that surprise you?

It has nothing to do with self hatred, but I will admit that it was a curiosity. I’ve learned that men are men Black, White or otherwise. I used to believe that Black people who dated outside their race were indeed self haters, but that’s a blanket statement that is simply not true.

If You’re An Asshole And You Know It Read This Blog!

FreeBlogging: The Internet Is A Breeding Ground For Assholes, Including Me!

I wrote this weeks ago as I was going off on a tangent. I’ve debated publishing it because I don’t think it’s written very well. Then I said, fuck it, I’m a free writing asshole!

assholes

The internet is a breeding ground for assholes! They’re more commonly called trolls and I also call them internet gangstas.

Everyone has an opinion (including me) about everything under the sun and I think we have a right to express it without being dogged unless we’re clearly asking for it. If I don’t agree with what you’re saying I take a moment to decide whether or not I want to get involved in the discussion or the drama that may occur.

When I do express my opinion I try my best to do it respectively and without pissing anyone off…on purpose. But, there is bound to be one person that feels the need to put me in my place by responding with a superior tone.

I also make it a point to try to see things from perspectives that are different from mine and I try to share my perspective to induce understanding.

The major issue with online and oftentimes offline communication is that many of us aren’t open to understanding other people’s perspective or ways of life. We need to be more tolerant and acceptable of how other people see the world and chose to live in it.

It doesn’t mean we have to like it or agree with it, but we need to come away with a better understanding of why people are the way they are and respect them for it.

For example, if the way they live their live doesn’t negatively or directly affect you, live and let live.

assholes

My Name Is Dangerous Lee and I’m An Asshole

It doesn’t mean there is something deeply wrong with me if I think it’s okay to smoke weed and you don’t, or if I think abortion is a woman’s rightful choice and you don’t,  or if I think homosexuality is normal and you don’t, or if I’m Agnostic and you are Christian.

We’re all conditioned from babies to act and think one way or another and we are all raised different culturally from household to household, so what makes us so sure that our way is the only way or the right way? What works for you may not work for me and vice versa. There’s more than one road to any destination.

I often forget that when people see me they only see a woman, and not only that, a Black woman who lives in the Flint, Michigan area AKA The Murder Capital, so I already have these boxes that people think I should fit in and some people are hell-bent on keeping me boxed.

Plus, my pen-name is Dangerous Lee…and because of that some people initially think I’m a man! Or that I will cause harm.

Do I have an identity crisis or what?!

assholes

My mother raised me to be a free-spirited, strong, independent person but I was also raised under certain religious beliefs. As I grew up and experienced and learned certain realities of life, some of the things I was taught to believe in didn’t vibe with my spirit.

I realized that the way I felt and thought about things was okay and actually very normal and not a sin or something to be ridiculed for. Many people I love are religious, and although I am not, I have been positively affected by certain religious beliefs because of how I was raised. I don’t subscribe to religion because I am a free-thinker.

I also have the mentality that allows me not to care if you don’t like or agree with my beliefs or how I live my life. It’s my life. Not yours. Worry about your own  salvation.

As Jill Scott says; I know what I know.

I speak from a place of learning. I’ve always considered myself non judgmental, and for the most part I am, but I have a few areas I need to work on.

I sometimes judge people negatively that think differently than I do on certain topics, but to my credit I also base my judgments on their overall word combined with their actions. We’re human, we judge, but I don’t have hatred for anyone who can’t understand my perspective.

I do have hope that people’s minds will open further to understand where I am coming from, but I won’t hold my breath.

assholes

Assholes on Racism

Not generally speaking, but White people get on my damn nerves. A White male “friend” of mine contacted me recently and stated that he agrees with Charles Barkley’s thoughts on the George Zimmerman case.

I think Charles’s ignorant ass statements only help to hurt race relations and give certain White people something to latch onto to validate their misguided opinions on race.

I simply told my friend that based on our different life experiences and perspectives I understood why he thinks that way. White people will NEVER understand issues related to race or racism, so I don’t even know why they think their opinion is valid or needed on the topic.

The saying, “It’s a Black thing you wouldn’t understand”, applies here. It would be great for White people to get a better understanding of racism, but it’s natural that they don’t fully get it, because they will never experience it.

Having said that, White people need to stop thinking they are the authority on racism and that they can dictate how we feel or how we should feel, but White privilege is a bitch.

That’s it! White People Homework: Research White Privilege.

As a Black woman I understand the injustice in the not guilty verdict because of this country’s issue with racism and classism. Zimmerman had no right to approach Trayvon in the first place. Had he not done so, Trayvon would be alive.

However, I’d like to think that if I were a White woman, like Alexandra Allred, I would also understand the injustice based on the public facts.

assholes

I am beyond sick of discussions concerning Zimmerman and Paula Deen.

Both conversations suffer from people not being fully informed on the facts of each case, but people have very strong opinions towards anyone who dares not support these two people. I had a White woman (who claimed she knew all the facts) actually tell me that I have hate in my heart and that I need God along with a few other choice words on Pinterest because of an article I wrote about Paula Deen.

I told her to fuck off and that she needed God more than I did along with some common sense. Granted telling her to fuck off was harsh, but her comments, which she has since deleted, were also harsh and very racist. I’ll never understand the phenomena of speaking your mind and deleting the comments once you have been challenged.

I believe in giving as good as I get. If you can’t handle the backlash keep your damn opinions to yourself. If you decide to share you opinions try not to be an asshole about it because then the Asshole Calvary is open for business!

Sometimes I know if I leave a comment expressing my opinion on someone’s personal post that it will only agitate the situation, but I don’t get off on conflict, so I avoid leaving my thoughts most times.

There’s nothing wrong with a good debate, but arguments piss me off so I often skip the opportunity to discuss certain topics unless I feel like the statement being made attacks me or my personal beliefs.

There are lots of controversial things I’d like to discuss, but I don’t because I don’t feel like dealing with the people who don’t get it, don’t want to get it, and just want to be…assholes.

Internet assholes are only interested in their feelings, opinions and beliefs. Social media has also made sharing our opinions a way of life. Everyone’s opinion counts online, but it’s all in the delivery.

Research: Nicety.

assholes

I am who I am and you are who you are because of all that we have seen and experienced in life. This includes things that have happened to us unwillingly and choices that we have made. I’ve met all kinds of people along the way in my 38 years who have similar experiences to mine and those who’ve lived lives vastly different from mine and the one thing we all have in common is that we are all flawed.

The next time you want to leave a smart-ass comment at this website or elsewhere on the web, understand that not everyone sees the world as you do, has lived the life you have, or has been conditioned to think the way you do.

Choose your words wisely because you’re not the only asshole with an opinion.

America Not Ready For Interracial Cheerios!

Interracial Cheerios

Some of you have the attitude that racism and its effects are a thing of the past, but the fact that a Cheerios commercial featuring an interracial family has caused what is being called “racist backlash” proves that America has some real and sick issues with race.

However, I also wonder if Cheerios knew exactly what they were doing and this commercial, like all advertising, was created to cause a stir and make a ton of money. I’m already seeing messages online of people saying they are going to buy more Cheerios.

Well played!

I was recently thinking that interracial families should be represented more in major media and then this happens. Be careful what you wish for!

What Cheerios did was groundbreaking and from what I can recall, they are one of the first major companies to use an interracial family to market their product. Although State Farm does have a commercial with an Asian man, a Black woman, and a baby that talks; but it’s not totally clear that the child is his.

The only thing I find remotely offensive about the Cheerios commercial is the fact that this little girl, who looks to be of reading age, seems to not be able to read the huge “Heart Healthy” on the back of the Cheerios box! Not only that, she also didn’t believe her father when he told her that Cheerios is heart healthy. Who did she believe? Her mother!

Is it a feminist Cheerios commercial?

Or…are people upset because the brotha is on the couch having a nap while the White lady is at the table writing checks for a stack of bills? I dunno; I’m reaching for something other than race because in a world where Barack Obama is the President of the United States, this commercial should be considered commonplace.

It’s just as cute and silly as the majority of other commercials on TV and like most commercials, it didn’t make me want to buy the product.

What Do YOU Think?

 

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Cash Money Records Ignorantly Signs Paris Hilton

paris hilton

Paris drinking a 40….really!?

Apparently Little Wayne and the rest of the folks over at Cash Money Records didn’t know that Paris Hilton doesn’t like Black people because she just got signed to the hip hop label.

I think it’s more like they don’t give a damn…which is even sadder. I swear the music industry ain’t shit!

I mean, look at her in the above photo mocking Black folks by drinking a 40 ounce. It’s probably apple juice!

Her rich, spoiled, bigoted ass is using Black folks to make new music and even more money. I just don’t get it! Hip hop is allowing itself to be played like a beat machine.

This won’t be the first album for Paris, she had a hit back in 2006 with “Stars Are Blind”. It had a reggae feel to it and despite myself I actually liked the groove of it. Her new music will have a House sound; I hate House music. You can watch the video below and listen to her mediocre vocals. I’m not sure, but I think the first 30 seconds features new music. *Rolls eyes, grimaces, shakes head, and sighs*

LAWD HELP US!!!

My Thoughts On Angelina Jolie’s Double Mastectomy

angelina jolie

I applaud Angelina Jolie and any other woman for taking the necessary medical steps to live a longer and healthier life for themselves and their family. Cancer is a HUGE deal so don’t think I am making light of it, but if I hear one more person give her kudos for having her breasts removed because she’s considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, I will scream!

Her breasts being removed is much deeper than Hollywood beauty and it’s beside the point!

People are literally visualizing her breasts being hacked off, but that’s not the case. The procedure involves removing the tissue inside the breasts and replacing it with implants.

Besides, now Angelina Jolie will always have perfect, perky breasts, so her vanity is still in tact and I’m sure she got a pair that hold up better than the originals.

Of course if she decides to have more children, before having her ovaries removed (she has a 50% chance of developing ovarian Cancer), she will not be able to breastfeed; other than that the physical aspects of her decision were probably last on her list of worries.

Angelina has said that she doesn’t feel less of a woman after the procedure and she shouldn’t because breasts don’t make the woman. The woman makes the breasts!

Werk those new ta-tas, Angelina!

 

Popular Inspirational Sayings That Are Dead Wrong

inspirational

– Dreams don’t have an expiration date.

They don’t? I’d say they definitely do get rotten, tho. If you don’t work towards your dream, it dies, and so does a little part of you!

– Good things come to those who wait.

Really? I don’t thinks so. No one ever had good things come to them by just sitting on their ass and waiting. If that were true, a bunch of lazy ass people would be experiencing good things right now.

– It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Is it? As if finding love again after you’ve lost it is an easy task. What’s so good about having found love, then losing it? I’ll wait. No, I won’t…losing love leaves a huge hole in your heart and you go on trying to fill that void, but never find anyone or anything to fill it. I’d rather never have been in love. You can’t miss what you’ve never had!

– You can’t have good without evil.

This one really pisses me off. I think we are more than capable of having most of our days filled with good without  evil ever coming into the equation. What are we, stupid? Of course there can be good without evil. It’s silly ass sayings like this one that has most of us brainwashed that we have to accept the bad things in our life on a daily basis because one of these days good is gonna sneak in on us. How long have you been waiting?

– It’s always darkest before dawn.

Well…duh! Yes, I know this one really means that you have to go through hell to get to the good hings in life; much like the saying before this one, it’s also FOS (full of shit). It’s another saying that wants to make us feel comfy in our own personal hell and encourage us to come out of it. Whatever, spare me! Too bad there are no inspirational says about when dawn arrives.

Though I have just ripped these inspirational sayings apart, I do understand their purpose and in one way or another I have agreed with them at some point in my life to help me put a positive spin on negativity in my life. Can you think of any other inspirational sayings that are dead wrong?

Good Men Are Not Like Busses

good men

Piggybacking off the above image; when those three or four come along they aren’t worth the ride. I haven’t been in a serious relationship in over ten years and I have yet to meet a man that would make me want to be in a relationship in those ten years.

When I have met a man that I thought was worth my time he made lying and game playing a priority. At this stage of my life I don’t feel that I need a man to be validated or happy, however I would like to have a male companion that I can spend some quality time with as well as have great sex; something else that I have not had in ages. I really hope this changes in 2013.

Update: Nothing changed in 2013 :/

Don’t Sacrifice Your Own Happiness For Your Children

happiness

I was watching the film, The Lucky One, starring Zac Efron and there’s an older woman character in the film that says something along the lines of: “Sacrificing your own happiness for your children is ridiculous.” I could not agree more. Many of us are doing this religiously. I don’t. I can’t.

How the hell is everything going to be okay with my child if I am unhappy?

Right now, I am at one of the unhappiest points in my life and it also affects my daughter’s mentality. Sure, I do what all so-called good moms are supposed to do and tell her not to worry and that everything will be fine, but I don’t really know that.

I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that everything will be okay, but I’ve been doing that all her life; and things are just…not alright. I am thankful for what we do have, which is not much, but I need more and I work my ass off to get more, but more never seems to come.

Do I feel entitled? Yep! Patience young Jedi, you say? Yea whatever, my patience is on vacation without me!

Anyway, getting back to the main point; sacrificing your happiness for your children: What does that mean?

That you will stay in a fucked up situation because you’re afraid your kids will suffer if you change or leave the situation? That makes no sense at all. You’re in a fucked up situation; you need to get out of those types of situations whether or not you have kids, or at least try.

You don’t just sit there and marinate in it until you’re ready to be boiled. You work to get out of fucked up situations to make a better life for yourself and your children. A happy parent equals a happy life for everyone. We all deserve happiness, but happiness is a state of mind that is defined differently by everyone.

I’m not happy. I haven’t been for years.

I am working to get to happy (have been most of my life), but this is a cruel voyage. It’s a voyage that breaks the spirit and kills the soul. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even pretend to be okay when people ask. I give a real response because I am feeling shitty and when people don’t like my reaction, they ask, “What do you mean?”, as if they really want to know the long sorted story, or they get all optimistic and preachy and say that I have to look on the bright side.

Where else would I be looking?

Of course I am looking on the bright side and guess what? I’m still not alright! Yea, I have a place to lay my head, air to breathe, and food to eat but that’s not enough! That’s not living. I’m not happy.

Besides, didn’t you ask me how I was doing? See, that’s the thing, asking someone how they are has become robotic. It just pops out when you see someone you know and the typical response is to say that you’re fine! Well, I’m not okay so I’m going to answer in a not okay way. Not in a way to burden or offend you, but I’m going to be honest.

I actually have a love/hate relationship with the responses I get because they do piss me off, but they also garner a different type of response that I’m not used to and now that I am studying Psychology, people’s reactions take on a whole new meaning to me.

Just let me say that some of you need to listen more and not try to offer advice. Someone in my situation needs someone to listen. Someone to understand. Someone to relate. Someone to be real then we can both keep it moving.

I don’t need your sermon.

I have exhausted the bright side of my mentality and that is why I am unhappy.

Duh!

Everyone who reads this that has children or plans to have children DO NOT sacrifice your own happiness for your children. That’s stupid. You deserve to be happy but believe me when you’re unhappy so are your kids because they react to your unhappiness.

Your kids worship you (if you’ve been a caring and loving parent) and they want to see their parents happy because it gives them hope, but never sugarcoat the truth of what the “American Dream” really is.


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