Pole Dancing is Not Just For Thots



pole dancing

This is what started the conversation.

HEAVY SIGH So there’s this video going viral showing a little Black girl at the playground sliding down a pole like a pro as other children watch while she lands perfectly in the splits. The insulting meme attached is “The Moment You Realize That Your Daughter’s a Baby Thot”. A thot, to put it simply is a hoe (see whore), in urban slang language.

There are more than a few problems that I have with this video and its message.

#1: This is an innocent child. How dare you lay the title of hoe on her because she has athletic skills. She is on a playground pole, a place more than appropriate for her to participate in this type of activity.

Is she supposed to just slide down like a firefighter? Should she have her style of play limited?

By thinking what she is doing is inappropriate because strippers also display these skills in the club, or that she is not being “lady-like”, or that she should not play this way because some pervert will be turned on is absolutely ridiculous.

You are putting blame on a child for your thoughts and the presumed thoughts of others. And, again, she is on a playground. Should poles be removed from playgrounds?

#2: This child is not exposing her private parts or her underwear and though I would rather she was not in a dress, not once do we see the dress go over her head.

#3: Making statements like she is being raised wrong, or that she must have seen this behavior somewhere, or that her mother should be ashamed is making a negative judgment call when you know absolutely nothing about this child or her family based on this short video.

#4: Ain’t nothing wrong with grown women stripping or being a stripper for a living. And, all strippers are not hoes. Furthermore, the strippers that are hoes don’t deserve your unkind words and assumptions either. You owe strippers an apology for thinking so low of them.

#5: Pole dancing is a legitimate skill, an art, no matter who is doing it or how old they are. Kids do it on the playground, it’s also taught in fitness classes all over the world, gymnasts do it and there are even international competitions, and yes professionals dance on poles in strip clubs or on an even larger scale in awe inspiring shows like Cirque du Soleil.

#6: I’m pretty sure that pole dancing came before stripping in clubs. I haven’t and won’t fact check this one; but I’m pretty sure…just logically speaking.

I really wish more of us would stretch our minds beyond our slanted view. To help you I’ve done a little research and found the following article. You’re welcome.


11 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Pole Dancing

pole dancing

1. Most pole dancers, regardless of age, are in the best shape of their lives.

Pole dancing is a full-body workout. It is resistance training and cardio in one. Flexibility is improved as well. Pole dancers perform acrobatic tricks either suspending their weight or propelling it around a metal pole. The simple act of climbing a pole is an incredible display of strength. It is no surprise, then, that most pole dancers insist they have never looked or felt better. Natasha Wang is a world champion pole dancer who didn’t even start until age 29. Greta Pontarelli is a champion pole dancer at age 63—and she only began a few years ago.

2. There are many different types of pole dancing.

When most people think of “pole dancing,” they tend to think of the kind performed in strip clubs. While the sexy side is still very present, there are actually three main branches of pole dancing: sport, art, and sexy.

3. Some are pushing for pole to become an Olympic event.

These are the serious athletes performing death-defying tricks and displaying unfathomable muscular strength. Then there are also those who embrace the artistic side pole has to offer. The simplicity of a vertical apparatus is appealing in that so much can be created and so many stories can be told. Many of these dancers perform barefoot and have been known to incorporate modern dance, props and costumes into their routines. Finally the sexy side of pole is still practiced by many. These dancers usually wear heels. And although there is some debate within the community about which direction pole is heading, all three forms flourish, and many pole dancers enjoy all styles. There is something for everyone.

4. You need your skin exposed to grip the pole.

I am still surprised that people don’t understand this concept. In order for skin to grip the pole, pole dancers must have their legs, arms and stomach exposed. This is a safety concern. There are some grounded spins, poses, and floor work that can be performed while wearing pants. But in order to perform more advanced moves, we must have the proper amount of skin exposure. Most pole dancers do not have an issue with this at all, since our focus turns away from what our bodies look like and onto what they can do.

5. It can be dangerous without proper training.

Although pole dancing is fun, it is still a serious athletic endeavor that should not be taken lightly. Some people do not realize how challenging it is when first starting. In addition to the bruises, pole dancers can experience shoulder and/or back pain with improper technique or over training.

Some people don’t learn from from certified instructors and instead try to figure it out with an improperly installed home pole and a YouTube instructional, which is a recipe for disaster. Some people can be too eager to flip upside down. This can be especially dangerous and can lead to head or spinal cord injury. This caution isn’t meant to scare away hopefuls, but rather to encourage everyone to go through gradually progressive training.

pole dancing

6. Men can (and do!) pole dance.

The number of men pole dancing continues to grow every year. There are men’s divisions in competitions now, and I usually have at least one man in all the classes I take or teach. Men’s natural inclination toward upper body strength makes them ideal candidates for the sport.

There are many ancient forms of pole dancing such as Chinese pole and Mallakhamb, which have been performed throughout history and almost exclusively by men.

7. “Not having upper body strength” is not an excuse to not try it.

This is quite possibly the most irritating argument I hear against wanting to try pole dancing. There will always be hundreds of reasons not to try. Maybe you aren’t at your ideal weight, or you have two left feet, or you think you’re too old. Why not stop creating roadblocks? You’ll build skills as you grow and learn. That is part of what’s so inspiring and empowering about it.

Whether you’re uncoordinated and can’t lift your own body weight or you’re an athlete with gymnastic capabilities, there is always a new trick or transition to learn with pole dancing. The process of growth never ends and the possibilities can be as creative as your imagination allows them to be.

8. Even though pole dancing is growing in popularity, we still can be judged.

Despite progress in the public’s understanding of what we do, many of us still fight stereotypes. Some of pole dancing’s loudest critics have never tried it themselves. Just last year, Marina Heck, a schoolteacher, was forced to resign from her position following controversy that she is a pole dancer.

Even if what we are doing is completely athletic and far removed from the type of pole dancing performed in strip clubs, we still need to explain ourselves. Many times when revealing to strangers what it is I do, I find myself hesitating because I don’t feel like justifying my passion to a skeptic.

9. It’s not always so sexy. (And our significant others don’t get free shows all the time.)

Don’t get me wrong; Pole dancing can be very sexy. But it is not always as overtly sexual as people may believe. We end up with bruises, burns and scrapes from trying new moves. And although we may wear sports bras and tiny shorts when performing, we opt for comfort over fashion in between training sessions.

Our partners soon become all too familiar with pole dancing. We bring them to competitions, we send them videos, we practice the latest tricks at home, we talk about which grip aids work best.

Many spouses are affectionately referred to as “pole husbands.” They are supportive. But do they feel forbidden allure? Not so much.

10. The community is very tight-knit.

Because what we do is still considered taboo by many, there is a unique closeness that bonds us together. There are pole dancers of all professions, ethnicities, religions, cultures, sizes, and ages.

I have friends all over the world because of pole dancing. I have friends who have been able to travel the world because of it. We support each other through learning new moves. We share each others videos. We watch each other perform. This shared interest bonds us with a special understanding.

11. Pole dancing is emotionally healing.

This is one of the biggest reasons I’ve stuck with pole dancing as long as I have. The physical benefits are great, but the feeling you get from mastering a move or expressing a particular emotion is indescribable.

Just the other day, I assisted a student in her first climb. It was a huge deal for her and the expression of joy on her face reminded me why I do what I do.

You can dance out any emotion in class, whether joyful, angry or sad. The combination of athletic skill and artistic influence makes it incomparable to any other form of dance or sport. To me, it is both dance and sport woven together into one beautiful, athletic art form.

11 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Pole Dancingoriginally posted on MindBodyGreen



I Was Born With A Broken Heart

broken heart

I often wonder what my life would be like or what type of person I would of become had I grown up with my father in my life.

I didn’t learn who my dad was until a few years ago thanks to a DNA test.

For that I am thankful, but growing up I was told that another man, who was also not present, was my father.

I also wonder what I would be like mentally had I not been sexually molested, more than once,  as a child.

Other pieces of my broken heart:

  • The death of my maternal grandfather. He was my father growing up.
  • The death of my maternal grandmother.
  • The death of my best friend, Chris Douglas.
  • Losing the “love of my life”.
  • Being a single mother.
  • The death of Michael Jackson.

The scary part is knowing with full certainty that my heart will continue to be broken as long as I live and as long as I feel.

Life really is a Bitch.

Were YOU Born With A Broken Heart?

Don’t Support Michael Jackson’s Xscape? You Don’t Get What He Stood For!

And, quite frankly you’re missing out. There are more than a few bangin’ tracks on the CD and it’s much much better than the “Michael” project that was released a few years back. I am actually pleasantly surprised that I am so into this project. I didn’t expect to like it so much.

My favorites are Loving You, Blue Gangsta and Love Never Felt So Good (the version without Justin Timberlake).

3 common reasons why some fans are not supporting the Xscape project:

  • Michael would not want his incomplete songs released. – How do you know? Have you talked to his ghost?
  • The estate is making money off of him. – Of course they are. They are also working their asses off for him too! Big deal! There’s nothing we can do about who’s getting paid. It’s not YOUR money, so why do you care so much? If you think you’re doing Michael a favor by damning any of his current and future projects; you’re mistaken. You’re adding to the negativity.
  • The family didn’t approve this project. – Ummm, did the family ever have any say in Michael’s solo projects? I don’t think so! Why would this project be any different?

In my opinion, the most important thing is that the Michael Jackson legacy stays alive much like that of Elvis and Marilyn Monroe. Most of his fans are happily enjoying this “new” music. When Michael died a part of me died. Hearing new music is making me smile and that is something that I don’t do often enough. I feel happy! Michael lifts my spirits!

I was going to write what I’m sure would have been a long drawn out blog about what I think about the fan division on this project, but there always seems to be someone better at expressing my opinion. Besides, I don’t have the energy to waste.

Please read the statement below from a Michael Jackson fan that runs a Facebook group called All Mike Everything and then feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section.


Click to buy Xscape on Amazon.com.

My Loves, I want to thank each and every one of you first and foremost for being as wonderful as you have been this past year and a half! Your love, support, input, and kindness is what has kept me going and I genuinely appreciate every kind comment, contribution to this page through art and shares, and beautiful compliment you have shared!

I have, however, decided to stop posting new things for an indefinite period of time. There are several reasons for this decision, but the one I feel I must be honest and open about is the fact that for me personally, there has just been too much in-fighting within the MJ fan base.

We all have different lives, different opinions, different levels of devotion, and different ways of enjoying Michael, and I find it very ironic that some of the fans of a man who was so totally AGAINST being pigeon-holed and boxed into one way of thinking and creating would be so determined to do just that to his memory.

The reason Michael Jackson became what he has become to so many different people is because he was a genius at FLUIDITY…. He could adjust himself to just about any situation. He was a person who could understand where others were coming from… even if he didn’t come from that place himself.

We are who we are. Everyone’s opinion of who MJ was, what he did, and how he did it was formed based on who we already were when we first discovered him. If you are a middle-aged white woman from the Midwest, your interpretation of MJ is bound to be completely different from a 16-year-old Black boy from Harlem, New York’s.

There will be some things you can agree on, but other things the two of you can’t understand. Neither one is wrong… they are just different. A more spiritually-minded fan may have an entirely different interpretation of what Michael was than a person who is not very spiritually-centered, but loves dance.

The same goes for this current issue of whether buying his new music is “right” or “wrong”. Depending on how your mind works, what you have been through, and your view of the world in general is, you can go either way on this subject. Whatever you decide doesn’t make you any less of a fan than the next person.

If you love and respect Michael, and if he and his music has made ANY type of impact on your life, you ARE a fan. There is no bad or good fan. There is no “fan type” that is above any other.

If you love him because you think he was the most gorgeous man ever, you are just as entitled to the label as a person who thinks he was a living, breathing saint. He displayed as much sensuality as he did goodness and both of those attributes were part of the same man.


We tend to want to break him up into the pieces that fit our agendas, fit our understanding of things, and fit what we are trying to say. Then we want to just toss the rest of who he was away if it doesn’t serve our purposes, or fit our pretty picture. Much like religious people do with Jesus and other faith-based figures.

He WAS a Black man who didn’t see race before character, yet he did love and have pride in his ancestry. He WAS a man who had an abiding faith in God and a pure, angelic spirit, yet he got angry and used 4 letter words sometimes… none of these things made the others any less true. We are all multifaceted. I have no problem understanding that MJ was too. I can’t understand why it has become so political to be a fan of a man who just went with the direction his heart and his Creator led him in and just lived.

He did what he believed in without chastising and frowning-upon every single person he met that didn’t happen to subscribe to his beliefs. I see so much of this and I am becoming disillusioned. More than anything, being a fan should bring you joy, and I can’t let these issues stop that for me. I hope you can understand. I don’t know if I’m alone in my thinking, and I am not accusing anyone of anything in particular. This is just my observation.

This issue isn’t the only factor in my decision, Loves. As I said earlier, there are a few. This is the only one that directly involved the MJ Fan-Family, though, and I think it was only fair to share it with you. I have done my very best to be fair, respectful, and kind. I have tried to teach a few things as well as be open to learning. I sincerely hope I have done that for the majority of you. Much L.O.V.E. to every one of you…. until we “Michael” again.

~Admin. “All Mike Everything”

Happy is Not For Sale

happyThe whole world is on a fake Happy high thanks to the musical talents of Pharrell, but I’m not part of that crowd. It’s been said too many times that money can’t buy happiness, but the truth is happiness is not for sale. If it was for sale  it would still only be attainable by a select few.

A short list of things that money would currently buy for me:

  • A home – I prefer a condo to my small ass income based apartment.
  • A bed – I sleep on a twin daybed. Not cute or comfortable.
  • A new car – My ’97 Escort is a rusty mess that has been parked for months.
  • Student loan and credit debt – :/
  • A medical bill for over $400 – 🙁
  • A new couch – You should see what we currently have to sit on.
  • Car insurance – I’ve been driving without insurance and outdated tags for almost a year!

If I had these things I’m sure I would be on my way to becoming close to happy.

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Jada Pinkett-Smith Thinks You’re a Covert Pedophile – So Do I!


Here’s the photo that started it all. Sex or anything inappropriate was not the first thing to come to my mind when I saw this image. However, out of curiosity, I did wonder why they were hanging out. Click the image to read more of my opinion on Facebook.

Jada Pinkett-Smith has come to the defense of her young daughter, Willow Smith.

The 13-year-old raised eyebrows this week when photos were shared of her lying in bed with shirtless 20-year-old actor, Moises Arias.

Due to the “suggestive” nature of the shots, rumors swirled that the pair, who are seven years apart in age, were engaging in an inappropriate relationship, but Pinkett-Smith insists that’s not the case.

“Here’s the deal,” she told the paparazzi via TMZ Wednesday at LAX Airport.

“There was nothing sexual about that picture or that situation.”

“You guys are projecting your trash onto it,” she continued.


Black People Can’t Tell “Black Jokes” Now?

The real issue is that a lot of people do not get or like her brand of humor.

I got it! I laughed, especially when she continued to birth famous athletes. I mean, c’mon it’s the truth!

If you have no idea what I am talking about consider yourself lucky or just Google it.

Leslie Jones

Click image to read heated conversation that took place on Facebook!



Hoe Baths Are Not Just For Hoes

From the Urban Dictionary:
a type of bath giving immediately after sex or just a quick bath when your just washing the important parts face, underarm, and genital areas.
Used in a sentence:
Girl, I know you go have a hoe bath before you leave?

Let me take a hoe bath right quick.

hoe bath

Yea, I’m taking a hoe bath. So what!

I’m not a hoe, but I do take hoe baths. A lot! Is that weird? Oh well, then I’m weird.

Are hoe baths nasty? I don’t think so. I wash my face, my underarms, my ass, my vagina and I brush my teeth. All funk producing areas are made fresh and clean again.

Unless you’re a farmer working the fields or a shop worker sweating it out for GM, a hoe bath is totally acceptable.

I don’t often work up a sweat throughout the day, but if I do, I can smell myself getting ripe so I know when it’s time to hop in the shower for a full body cleanse.

Most adults with common sense know when to wash their ass!

Lately, I’ve been hearing some blanket statements towards people who take hoe baths. It’s been said that were are nasty, funky and unclean.

Not true at all. Hoe or not, if you take a hoe bath you have taken the time to clean yourself and that should always be commended.

A hoe bath is better than no bath at all.

Stop Hoe Bath Shamming!


Sexual Orientation Not a Choice, but Remaining Ignorant About It Is

I am sharing this article because I am so tired of people I know saying being gay is a choice and wondering how children can know their own sexuality when they have not really experienced life or sex.

I knew when I was a kid that I liked boys, especially Michael Jackson 🙂

If you are gay and living life as if you are a straight person, that is a choice.  Sometimes it’s good to close the Bible and give other books, research and facts a chance.

sexual orientation

Click image to read heated Facebook conversation on this blog.

Scientists have found evidence to support the existence of a male genome which may influence homosexuality.

Dr Michael Bailey, from Northwestern University, studied 400 sets of twins to determine if some men are genetically inclined to be gay.

The study identified two areas on the male genome which appear to be linked to sexuality.

Bailey said: “Sexual orientation has nothing to do with choice. Our findings suggest there may be genes at play and we found evidence for two sets that affect whether a man is gay or straight.”

Researchers took blood from 409 homosexual brothers and heterosexual members of their family. It is known that siblings share around 50 per cent of their DNA, but it is possible they have a chance of sharing genes associated with sexual orientation.

While the findings revealed genetics accounted for around 30% to 40% of a man’s sexuality, the rest was based on social and environmental factors.

Read full story at – Gay Gene Discovery Suggests Sexual Orientation Not a Choice.

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I Told Him I Loved Him and You’ll Never Believe What He Said



Him: Well…how do you know that?

Me: That’s an odd response coming from you. I never stopped loving you.

Him: That was hella random. No offense, but I don’t know how to respond to that.

Me: OK. I understand.

But, I didn’t understand. I still don’t. What I do understand is that the man I loved is dead. I am in love with a ghost. I love who he used to be. I do not love the man he is now and it’s obvious that he cannot or does not love me anymore.

This forces me to finally move on emotionally and try to make myself available to someone that will reciprocate my feelings though in my heart of hearts I have given up on the notion of true and real love.

How could I not? He was my first love. My true love and it was real, once. This hurts like hell and my heart is broken all over again. How in the hell is it still beating?

I hate that I love him. It’s a waste of emotion. I wish I knew how to make my heart move on along with the part of my mind that knows better.


Walt Disney Was A Racist, Sexist, Asshole!

walt disney

Walt Disney

So, there’s this corny-looking movie about Walt Disney creating the Mary Poppins film called Saving Mr. Banks starring Tom Hanks as Disney coming out December 20th and I remember that there has been talk that Mr. Disney was racist among other not so nice things. I took to Google and found the video below featuring interviews with people who have worked with and for him sharing their stories, proving that he was a jerk and I also found this article that tries to debunk that he was an ass.

Of course he was a racist, sexist asshole. He was a White man living in a time when many if not most White men were racist, sexist assholes. Color me so not surprised. Disney, as a brand, has promoted many racist, sexist and asshole like themes over the years. We’ve all seen it and bought into it in one way or another. I guess you can say racism, sexism and assholism has brought us all together.

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