Movie Review: Abduction

Taylor Lautner is hot! He has proven that he will have a career outside of the werewolf in the Twilight series. Taylor is the main reason I wanted to see this film, but that wasn’t enough to make this movie outstanding. It is a good film and action packed, but the acting is corny and the plot sometimes predictable. I also didn’t realize until shortly before seeing this film that it was directed by Boyz in the Hood director, John Singleton. Kudos to John for getting more mainstream gigs.

I also didn’t know that Taylor Lautner was dating his on-screen love interest, Lily Collins, in real life who also happens to be musician Phil Collins daughter (she must look like her mother!).

Lily Collins

In this film, Taylor Lautner, portrays a young man that discovers his image on a missing persons website. From there he learns that the people who have raised him are not his real parents. This is where I get pissed off because Taylor, who is said to have “distant” Native American heritage, very much appears to be full if not half Native American and his parents in this film are as White as they come. When we get a glimpse at his real parents in this film, they do not appear to be much more ethnic than the people who raised him.

I know it’s a Hollywood film, but I like things to make sense sometimes. Anyway ladies, if you love Taylor in Twilight you’ll also love looking at him make out on a train in Abduction.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

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Movie Review: Bridesmaids

So many people thought this movie was hilarious and it is currently the highest grossing female comedy of all time. However, I did not think it was funny! I almost didn’t do this review because I really cannot think of anything relevant to say about it other than I did not like it. I think this film was trying too hard to be the female version of The Hangover, which I also didn’t think was very funny.

Bridesmaids is forgettable and you may even doze of in the middle. Skip it if you haven’t seen it already. However, I know you’ll watch it out of curiosity. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Hanna

When viewing the trailer for this film, I was not impressed and had no desire to see it. My thought was; so what, another female assassin flick. Big deal! I was also weary because her name is “Hanna“. All I could think about what Hannah Montana!

However, Hanna does have some twists, turns, and fight scenes that are appealing because Hanna is no ordinary female assassin. She’s 16 and she was specifically bred to kick ass. I won’t give away any more spoilers related to her creation, but after watching you will understand her odd appearance.

Hanna is played by actress, Saoirse Ronan, who you may have also seen as the lead in The Lovely Bones. Saoirse definitely has some acting chops and I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: X-Men First Class

I recall being very upset when I attempted to see this film on the big screen for my birthday back in July but could not because it was no longer showing on any local screens. After renting and viewing this film at home, I have an understanding of why it did not remain in theatres very long. It was cool to see how Professor X, Magneto, and Mystique, among others, became who we see them as in the first films, but I found X-Men First Class to be, for lack of a better word, corny. So much of it didn’t make sense. (Watch First Class Timeline Mix-Ups video below for clarification)

First of all, I was not at all in love with Kevin Bacon being cast in this film. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Kevin Bacon as a bad guy does not do it for me. There is also a mutant that has hands for feet (Ewww!) that later becomes known as Beast after he injects himself with a chemical that’s supposed to make him appear normal. That made no sense to me because his only physical “deformity” was having hands for feet and after the injection he becomes blue and furry. Okey Dokey! I also thought the mutant, Angel, played by Zoe Kravitz, that has fairy wings and spits fire was very unnecessary. The coolest thing is the cameo by Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. His one liner is priceless.

There was also a negative thing that stood out for me in regards to the only Black male mutant in the film. He gets killed! Are we back to the “kill the Black characters” formula? And, before he dies there’s a reference made to slavery and the camera instantly zooms in on his face. Fail!

If you follow the X-Men series I suppose it’s a must see, but if you’re not really into it, skip it. I certainly could have. Check out the review below. That guy loved it. Go figure!

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Apollo 18


Apollo 18 is the latest Hollywood attempt at a truth telling documentary style film. The official description of the film reads: Decades-old found footage from NASA’s abandoned Apollo 18 mission, where two (it’s actually three) American astronauts were sent on a secret expedition, reveals the reason the U.S. has never returned to the moon (Source).

Apollo 18 was just OK. There’s not much to say about it from my point of view. I knew going in that it was not real NASA footage, so I was just waiting to see the creature(s) that take out the astronauts and prevent them from returning to earth. I must say that the creatures are nothing like I expected and that was the most entertaining thing about this film. Other than that, wait to rent this one. You aren’t missing much.

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Janet Jackson Live: A Review

Our view of the stage after Janet left the building.

Let me start out by saying how much I hate driving to (and from) Detroit. As we got closer to the “D” there was about 30 minutes of unnecessary traffic on the highway. I say unnecessary because once we got to the end of it and started driving at a faster pace, there wasn’t an accident, construction, or anything else  in the way. Just unnecessary!

Once we got to the FOX theatre we had a hell of a time getting to the FOX parking ramp (which I had purchased a prepaid pass for), then once we got to the ramp it was full! There was also a Tigers game going on at the same time across the street at Comerica Park, so that may explain the extra traffic in the area. By the time we were directed to a parking lot with available parking, it was close to 8:30pm. The show had apparently started promptly at 8:00pm because when we got inside Janet was well into a  performance of “Control” and those that had arrived early enough were enjoying it. Guess what? I had to pee, so I made a  stop in the bathroom before we took our seats; more show missed.

However, we were not alone in our lateness because there were still tons of other people that were waiting outside to find a parking spot. I am starting to wonder if the FOX theatre has a curfew because each time that I have been there I am out by 10:00pm. Wasup with that?!

Anyway, not being able to see the show from the beginning was a major buzz kill and I never fully recovered from it and to top it off our seats were horrible! We also had to deal with a couple making multiple bathroom and drink trips. That gets on my damn nerves!

I prefer seeing Janet perform in a large stadium with costume changes and an elaborate stage show, the “Up Close and Personal” style of the #1’s tour does not compliment her at all. Also, when images and corny graphics were shown on the large screen, the top half was cut off to everyone in my area of the theatre. I also didn’t understand why images of Janet performing were not shown on the screen for those of us in the nosebleed seats. I couldn’t even make out her facial features from where we sat.

There were also songs that Janet’s band performed snippets of while she was off stage taking a break that we would of much rather seen her perform while she was on stage. It was truly disappointing and I am missing her brother and my first love, Michael Jackson even more. I want my money back!

A bad quality image of me and my daughter, Senia, after the show. Look how happy I am pretending to be. She had fun, though!

Movie Review: Source Code

I didn’t expect to like this film because I had heard from a good friend that it sucked because it was the same thing happening over and over again. I’m glad I didn’t take their word for it.

Source Code is about a soldier who wakes up in the body of an unknown man and discovers he’s part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train. He is sent back in time 8 minutes before the train explodes more than a few times to find the bomb and identify the bomber, but it is done in a way that keeps you on the edge of your seat.

This film is deep and has quite a few unexpected twists and turns. You have to keep up with the storyline and the lingo because it does get a little confusing, but the end will blow your mind. I loved it! I wish I had seen it on the big screen.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: The Smurfs 3D

Absolutely hated it! Before seeing the film, I hated that the Smurfs were even being made into a live action film. Was this really needed or necessary? Which movie exec said, “You know what we need, a Smurfs movie!”. No, we didn’t, and we especially did not need them to arrive in New York City.

I hated the way the smurfs looked, acted, and I hated their voices each time one of them failed to be cute or clever. Furthermore, watching Neal Patrick Harris play a doting husband and expectant father was a joke. The man is openly gay, and yes I know he’s an actor, but I could never get over it and he wasn’t convincing.

This movie was stupid, very stupid, and seeing it in 3D was not  a plus. There were only a few scenes where outstanding 3D imagery came into play. The kids will love this because they don’t know any better, but you will be begging for it to be over long before the credits roll.

PS: Gargamel sucks too!

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

This film proves that we cannot rely on animal experiments to save our lives. Apes and humans are alike in many ways, but not where it counts, according to this film.

I loved it! It was shocking, loving, angering, comical, and all around entertaining.

One thing that was cheesy is the fact that the following words were uttered, “Get your hands off of me, you damn dirty ape!”.

I guess each filmmaker that takes on this film feels obligated to pay homage to the original with this line, but really, we could have done without it. We know it’s a remake.

The end of the film not only gives you the idea that their may be a sequel, but it also illustrates how viruses and disease so easily spread throughout the world. If you love sci-fi and hated Tim Burton‘s version you absolutely must see this film!

It’s in a class by itself.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Cowboys & Aliens

This film should have been titled Cowboys vs Aliens! It was OK, but not great. Much of it was predictable and silly, but it’s a pretty good film. There’s a dog that steals the show and receives the most screen time, so I was disappointed that it did not receive proper credit at the end of the film.

The aliens are bad ass and ugly as hell, and they have an obsession with gold. Harrison Ford plays a mean, racist old man very well. He may just have a new niche. Olivia Wildes’ character may get on your nerves appearing overly made up and very dramatic for the era, but once her “secret” is revealed it makes sense. Daniel Craig, well, he wears stolen chaps very well! Anyone know where I can get a pair?

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

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