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Mikaya Heart

I am a very unconventional woman. You can read more about me on my website, mikayaheart.org
Mikaya Heart has written 36 posts for The Dangerous Lee Network

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Loving Your Body

As a culture, we are encouraged to have only a distant relationship to our bodies, and sometimes to have an actively adversarial relationship with them. We are taught to relate to the world around us primarily through our rational brains, allowing them to dictate what our bodies should or shouldn’t do, and frequently denying, or … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Why tell the truth?

“It’s not worth it to tell the truth,” is something I hear people say quite often. Well, that depends whether you are really measuring what you’re losing by lying, and whether you really care about what you’re losing. You may not notice the gradual deterioration of your once-intimate relationship into a casual daily exchange of … Continue reading

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Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: An Alternative Wedding

Wanna get married? I recently officiated at a very fun wedding held on some land in northern California. The couple were both in their thirties, and the half that did most of the organizing is an accomplished artist who designed and sewed her own dress, made hundreds of origami cranes, and etched names in glasses … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Dealing with Anger

I apologize for the long delay in posting – life has just been incredibly full and busy! OK, following on from my last post, I’m still on the subject of communication and anger. Although it’s true that someone who is very afraid will never be able to communicate clearly, and that some people have no … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Moving Beyond Fear And Anxiety

Unless you are one of those lucky people who just happens to be with someone who wants to have sex exactly the way you do, the art of negotiation is an essential skill. By that I mean that you need to be able to listen to what your partner is saying without taking aboard any … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Breaking Up

Contrary to popular belief, breaking up is not necessarily hard to do. It does tend to get harder if you put it off until you are on very bad terms with your partner. If you stay and stay and stay, resentments will build up and up and up, until you can’t remember why you loved … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Understanding Rape

In my last post, I wrote about abuse; before I move on to more pleasant subjects, I want to say something about rape. Citing my own experience may help people understand what motivates a person to rape another human being, and what our culture needs to do to prevent this happening. At college in my … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: That Nasty Word – Abuse

Since 2001, more American women have been killed by their husbands or boyfriends than all US citizens killed in 9/11, the Iraqi war, and the Afghani war combined. Domestic abuse is rife—a vicious ongoing undercurrent beneath a civilized veneer. Even nowadays, an abused woman is usually too frightened or embarrassed to talk about it, not … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Loving Yourself

These days there is a lot of talk about self-love, and many people will tell you that you must first love yourself before you can love anyone else. While that is true, I think it needs some explaining. What does it mean to love yourself, and how does that manifest in daily life? It’s really … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Finding and Expressing Love

There are many ways to express love, and different people experience love in different ways. One of the keys to compatibility with your partner is when you both express and receive love in the same ways, so it’s easy and natural for you to make each other feel loved. The feeling of being loved is … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Love

Let’s talk about love. I have said before and will say again that it is not love but compatibility and companionship that make a relationship work. You might love someone and yet need to stay well away from that person because s/he is abusive; but if you share many common interests with someone and s/he … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Dealing with Jealousy – Again!

I’ve touched on this subject before, but it’s so central in understanding how to have healthy relationships that it needs some in-depth examination. There are not very many people in this world who have not felt jealous at some point or another, and it can take many forms. Let’s restrict it to the kind of … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: The Value of Feeling Desire

In my last post, I described the various stages of desire, and suggested that we might utilize the experience of desire to manifest things in our physical world. We all are capable of manifesting what we need and want, otherwise we wouldn’t have food and shelter. We wouldn’t even have bodies! The process of manifestation, … Continue reading

Sex and Relationships with Mikaya Heart: Sex and the Vastness of Being

Sex is an unparalleled opportunity to learn how to work with energy flows and develop awareness of the existence of states of reality that are beyond the physical. Although it starts with the body and appears to arise in the body, sexual energy can take us into a state of awareness that is far greater … Continue reading

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