The increasing number of rape cases continuously floods the news. Although it is good to know that victims of rape are speaking out about their experiences, it is simply not enough. It is also crucial to educate men about their behaviors that can potentially lead to sexual assault.
Women have always been taught to be conscious of their body language and to mind their behavior. They are taught certain sexual assault prevention, such as:
- Cross their legs, especially when wearing a mini-skirt
- Cover their drinks so they won’t get drugged
- Don’t talk to strangers
- Don’t walk home alone at night
Society seems to think that it is much easier to teach women to protect themselves, instead of changing the would-be perpetrator’s behavior. But can we change these would-be perpetrator’s thoughts? How can we convince them not to sexually assault women?
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips For Men
Every man is a potential rapist- this includes you. This may come as a surprise, especially when you are a good guy. You are not stalking women or lurking around dark alleys to jump on women and forcefully have sex with them. But the truth is that most rape cases were not done by violent strangers. To help you avoid getting into a situation that may lead to sexual assault, here are a few tips:
Consider Her Feelings: Many cases of rape happen in situations where the man failed to thoroughly think about his actions and behavior. He didn’t realize that what he was doing was sexual assault. For instance, you may think that you are being confident and daring when you lean in for a kiss; however, the girl may feel that you are forcing yourself on her. She might get scared for her safety. In other situations, you might put your hand up on the door and ask her for a kiss. This might seem like you are blocking her way, preventing her from leaving.
Don’t Drink Too Much: You have to understand that some cases of sexual assault occur when the perpetrator is blackout drunk, and he doesn’t even know what he is doing. If you are out partying with friends, drink moderately. Better yet, do not drink at all. Alcohol can impair your decision making ability and shuts off the part of your brain that considers the consequences of your actions.
For example, you might believe that the girl is giving you signs that she’s into you, and all you have to do is make a move. You might even fail to hear her say “NO” minutes before you start assaulting her. It doesn’t matter whether you are remorseful about what you did the next day or the fact that you didn’t intend to force your attentions on a woman. Be smart and avoid drinking too much.
Get A Clear And Sound Permission: As a man, you don’t have to be afraid or ashamed to ask, especially when the woman looks uncertain. Remember that a girl can give you one of two answers: “yes” and “no”. You need to recognize though that “maybe”, “I don’t know”, and “I guess” all fall under the “no” category.
Although it is always possible that a “maybe” might mean “yes”, as a man, you must know that this response is not a clear and sound permission. You can discuss the issue with her and listen to what she has to say. Be smart and don’t force her to give you her consent. If you walk away, the worst thing that can happen is you miss the chance of being intimate with her; however, if you force her, you might find yourself in jail.
Be Man Enough To Stop At Any Time: You have to understand that she is not obligated to be intimate with you at any point, ever- even when she gave her consent at the beginning. This means that if you start to notice that she looks upset or scared, you need to stop and ask her if she is okay with what you are doing and tell her that it is okay to stop. She might just take you up on that offer.
You may need to deal with some frustration, especially when you got so worked up but didn’t have your release. Despite that, do not take out your frustration on her and don’t make her feel like it is not okay to change her mind. Remember that doing the right thing is much more imperative than getting laid.
Kris Hopkins is a writer for bail bonds websites, such as http://www.bailbondsdirect.com. She also writes for lifestyle websites where she offers safe dating tips for men and women.