For people that aren’t quite up to speed on their lingo, a “frenemy” is someone who is a combination of friend and enemy to you. This may be a friend of a friend who you can’t stand (but have to put up with) or the gal at work who loves to dish out the backhanded compliments. “This sweater would look cute on you. It’s way too big for me, but someone your size could rock it.” Or it could just be friend who kinda sucks at friendship. The person is never there when you need them, not supportive, and always manages to just bring you down.
If you’re stuck with a frenemy in your life, it’s time for you to enjoy a little sweet revenge—how to politely ruin your frenemy’s day.
1) Throw a Party and “Forget” to Invite Them
The nice thing about planning parties exclusively through Facebook, is you have a really believable excuse as to why certain people didn’t get an invitation. “What that’s so weird! I totally remember checking the box next to your name! Ugh. I seriously hate Facebook sometimes.” You know that feeling when everyone in your social circle is making preparations for an upcoming event that you aren’t going to? It sucks. It’s how people who don’t go to Coachella feel during the month of February. It’s a lonely, sad, embarrassing feeling. You know your frenemy will probably come anyways, but it’s always fun to make someone feel left out, while also making it seem like a total accident.
2) Discover Dirt on the Person They’re Dating
Think about how evil and satisfied you will feel if you can call your frenemy on the phone and be like, “I’m so sorry hun, he’s actually a felon out on parole.” Think there’s no way that you could find this out without hiring a private detective? Think again! There are a number of affordable websites that will do online background checks on anyone you want. Search the criminal arrest records of the person your frenemy is dating and find out if you can find cause to let the wind out of that frenemy’s sails.
3) Point Out How Many Sex Offenders Live in Their Neighborhood
Finding out you live next door to child molester is always a bummer. “What? He looked clean?!” Of course, you can always operate under the guise of being a concerned friend, just looking out for their safety. The best part is, it doesn’t take a lot of work. If you get your background check from a high quality site like Instant Checkmate, you can access a complete list of sex offenders who live near the person you’re looking up. Politely pointing out that your frenemy has 14 sex offenders that live near them is a great way to ruin someone’s day without looking like a total biatch.
Everyone has a frenemy, but it doesn’t have to suck as hard as you think it currently does. You can always find little ways to get under your frenemy’s skin, and gracefully ruin their day. As they say, keep your friends close, and you frenemies closer.
Jessica Ruane is a blogger for Instant Checkmate, an online background check company. To find more uses for public records, follow them on Twitter.