The rich get richer and the poor get poorer according to the old saying. But the fact is that if you are rich you can find plenty of ways to spend money and not all of them are entirely or even remotely sensible. So if you’re a banker, a lottery winner, have scooped the pool in a roulette game or simply have more cash than sense, here are some ways to reduce your bank balance fast.
1. Get a Flashy Car
Are you mad about motors, crazy for cars or dippy for driving? An expensive sports car may seem like an ideal way of showing off your wealth and having a bit of fun into the bargain. Think again. Most of the time your precious super car won’t be any faster than an everyday hatchback because you will constantly be stuck in traffic. What’s more, whilst you might think you’re getting admiring glances as you sit there in fact people will be thinking how silly you look and probably wondering if you’re deficient in the trouser department.
Your millionaire’s motor will also guzzle fuel and every time you take it to the garage you’ll be faced with the sort of bill most people only encounter when their teenagers have spent too long on their mobile phones.
2. Buy a Boat
If you thought the car was expensive you won’t believe how much it costs to buy and run a boat. It can cost millions to buy in the first place – especially if you want to impress the neighbours at Monaco – then it’ll spend about ten months of the year tied up to a dock (which you’ll have to pay for). You’ll need to pay a crew to look after it and a skipper to drive it whilst you lounge in the back with a G&T, trying not to look seasick. The cost of fuel means it’ll cost you a couple of grand each time you head out of the harbour and every few years you’ll need to have it hauled out of the water and repainted. You may as well just get a big bag of money and throw it in the sea.
3. Have Plastic Surgery
There are lots of things that money can’t buy and eternal youth is one of them. A face lift will relieve you of a lot of money but instead of looking younger you’ll look like you’re facing into a strong gale all the time and the only expression you’ll be capable of is a fixed grin. Go in for surgery too often and your nose will end up somewhere around your forehead. As for tummy tucks, boob jobs and various other bits it would be cheaper just to hire a stand-in to appear for you in public.
4. Wear Big Bling
We all like a bit of jewellery but you can take things to extremes. If you buy really expensive jewellery you’ll be constantly scared to wear it in case you lose it or it gets stolen. You’ll have to pay a couple of security guards to follow you around and hire a safety deposit box to store it when you’re not wearing it. All of which is too much hassle so it’ll just end up sitting in the bank and gathering dust.
5. Ring for the Butler
Staff are another big ticket expense for the wealthy. Having a butler and a maid and a cook may impress your friends but it means you’ve always got strangers in your house and it becomes a work place rather than a home. You’ll also constantly worry that you need to do things properly to impress the staff, whilst the cook is doing unspeakable things to your gravy because you don’t pay her enough, or that the butler is looking down his nose at your choice of claret.
6. Stock up the Cellar
Which brings us neatly to the subject of wine. A decent cellar is something that many people aspire to. That’s fine and there’s nothing wrong with a nice glass of wine now and again. But what’s the point of blowing thousands on a bottle of an obscure vintage that you’ll never actually drink? This indeed is probably undrinkable anyway owing to the amount of time it’s spent being shunted around between numerous dusty cellars.
Author Byline: Lucas Conner is a freelance writer and finance guru who believes that if you play roulette games at least you have a chance of winning some money back.