As if hearing about infidelity isn’t jarring enough, some surprising perhaps shocking research underscores the seriousness of infidelity’s impact on society.
Married adults, when surveyed, typically will express a negative opinion of infidelity. Yet, a distressingly high percentage of married adults engage in infidelity, only to discover that unanticipated, life-changing fallout often follows an affair.
I deal with the broken homes, said Dr. Ed Young, senior pastor of Fellowship Church in Dallas. I deal with the children whose lives are up for grabs because someone is selfish enough to step outside the marriage.
Consider these statistics and truths gathered from university research, psychological surveys, public polling and the recordings of marriage and family counselors on the websites infidelityfacts.com and truthaboutdeception.com:
- Its a myth that men cheat on their mates a lot more often than women. Researchers found that 54 percent of women have admitted committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had, compared with 57 percent of men.
- Emotional infidelity long-term flirting, romantic feelings, intimate spoken and written conversations can inflict as much pain and suffering, if not more, on the spouse as physical infidelity.
- Seventy-four percent of men say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught; 68 percent of women would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught.
- According to researcher K.G. Anderson, 2 to 3 percent of all children are the product of infidelity. Most of these children are unknowingly raised by men who are not their biological fathers.
- Seventeen percent of men and women admit to emotional or physical infidelity with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law.
Infidelity is becoming more common among people under 30, according to the Wall Street Journal. Many experts believe this increase in cheating is due to time spent away from a spouse, and young people developing the habit of having multiple sexual partners before getting married.
Less than a third of marriages 31 percent last after an affair has been admitted or discovered.
Reasons Spouses Cheat
Married adults cheat on their spouses for different reasons, notes John M. Grohol, Psy.D., on PsychCentral.com. These reasons include: significant unresolved problems in the primary, long-term relationship/marriage; considerable difference in sex drive between the two partners; or greater difference in personality than the partners may realize.
The solution to infidelity and its profound negative consequences is more sex with ones spouse, Pastor Ed Young, who also has a broadcast ministry, said. God is pro-sex. He wants us to have the best sex possible. And that is in a marriage one man, one woman together. With regard to infidelity, he said too many people ignorantly say, We can’t resist it. We’re going to do what we do.’”
Young has this advice for anyone contemplating infidelity: Have an affair, he said. But I would add three words: with … your … spouse.”