As 2013 dawns you might be coming to the conclusion that something just isn’t working. Unfortunately, while you might have decided that the relationship with your partner has come to its end, when you live together and have difficult things to consider like finances, kids or even the shared DVD collection.
Breaking up is never easy but if you’ve made up your mind to say “it’s not you, it’s me” then here are a few tips to make sure you both come out of it with your dignity intact.
Make Your Mind Up
Don’t just declare the relationship over only to realise later that you’ve made a mistake. Before you start thinking about how to break up, think about whether you really want to break up. Can you work this problem out? It’s almost impossible to take something back when you have said it, so make sure this is what you want.
Don’t Be Ashamed
If you’re feeling guilty about what come’s next, stop; you’re not the only one that wants to end a long term relationship and there’s plenty of relationship advice for breaking up available online, and 117’558 people were divorced in 2011. Ignore the stigma attached with breaking down a long term relationship, and focus on what makes you happy.
Meet Somewhere Neutral
If you do live together than this can be a headache; it’s not a great idea to do the deed in a public space, and it’s an equally bad idea to break the news as you’re sitting down to dinner with the in-laws. Use your common sense and find a non-threatening location for the pair of you.
Tell Him Straight
You can’t do much worse than a long drawn out break-up, once you’ve got down to it, be swift and tell him with certainty and confidence that it’s over. Don’t feel sorry for him at the event, and resist the urge to throw in “maybe we can try again” or other vague glimmers of hope if you’ve no intention of going back. Outline your reasons and don’t look back.
What you shouldn’t do is insult your former partner, raise your voice or in any way try to “get one over” on them. Just tell them the reasons behind your decision neither too harsh nor too gentle, and excuse yourself.
After The Event
The hardest part is over, now it’s time to pick yourself up. Delete his number, unfriend him and either move out or arrange a time for him to come and collect his things. You might want to have a friend present for support. The first few weeks may be filled with the temptation to call your former squeeze, but it’ll get easier with time so tough it out and you’ll gradually start to feel much better.
For The Long Term
Once you’ve gotten past the worst of it, you may need to find yourself somewhere new to live, re-budgeting for your lower house income or perhaps even with a child to care for. Remember that reorganising your possessions and finances is a key part of embarking on your new single life.
If you’re struggling to handle your new budget, the worries of less disposable income and the financial impact of breaking up you can consult One Plus One for lots of impartial advice.
After you’ve sorted your financials and broken up with your partner try to put it all behind you, remember again that there’s no shame in ending a long term relationship even if your parents loved him, and he was good to your cat. Think of yourself as a strong woman moving forwards from your break up, and that you are doing this for your own future happiness.
Article Provided By: If you feel like you need more relationship advice for breaking up you could consider the free impartial advice at OnePlusOne.