You have been madly in love with someone and suddenly things seem to have changed – they call less, are cagey about what they are up to and generally seem to have gone off the boil.
If you have been together for a while, it may well be that other things like work issues are on their mind.
However, human instinct often warns us when things are about to happen, so here are a few tips for pre-empting that dumping speech from your partner – and bracing yourself for the worst.
- Remember, just because someone goes quiet or seems distracted when with you, it does not mean they are going to dump you – ask them if they are okay or need to talk about something.
- It is terrible when you are with someone you like and feel as though they have lost interest – if you cannot get a straight answer from them, try taking a little break from them yourself to give you time to consider how you feel and how you would feel if things ended.
- It may be tempting to stalk them to find out if they are seeing anyone else – asking them outright might take courage but quite often asking the question straight means you get the answer. If they are genuinely surprised, they probably are not and will reassure you – but if there is any mock surprise, then follow your instincts and question further.
- Seizing the initiative can sometimes get the relationship back on track – asking someone outright if they want to split up can bring the truth home to them and although they might answer yes, bringing up the subject yourself does open up the possibility of discussion which could resolve any underlying issues they may have about the relationship.
- If your other half has been behaving oddly, don’t assume they are seeing someone else or up to no good, as they might be preoccupied with work or even planning a surprise for you – is your birthday, Valentine’s Day or Christmas looming? Wait and see before you jump in with an accusation.
- If your other half goes silent on you, won’t respond to messages or is monosyllabic when you speak, try asking a mutual friend if they are okay, as you are worried about them – quite often friends who know the truth will try and cover, but do not do this very well if there is something going on you should know about.
If you really feel you are about to be dumped, decide whether you want to be put out of your misery or would rather let things lie and see what happens.
Taking a short break to gather your thoughts and plan a course of action if the worst happens can help you face up to what might seem the inevitable – but if a partner is having such trouble dumping you that they are hoping you just get the message, it suggests that might not really know what they want either, so try and keep it friendly, whatever happens – by leaving the door open, they just might get themselves back on track and back in your arms.
When a relationship breaks down and tensions are running high, domestic abuse and violence may take place. There is legal help for when this occurs.