When most people write out a list of what they are looking for in someone to date, they typically include things like physical traits (tall, dark and handsome anyone?) or how much money they’d like them to make, where they live or what their hobbies and interests are. While all of these things are most definitely important, one key thing is missing. Before you start to seriously date someone you need to evaluate their communication skills, and how you communicate as a couple.
Communication is way more than just talking, although it is that too. It’s how you relate to your partner, how you handle arguments and how you work through your relationship issues. You might be thinking that you just started dating and like each other so much that you can’t imagine ever fighting, but even the most compatible partners disagree from time to time, and it’s the way you handle these disagreements that defines you as a couple. People communicate in different ways. Some completely shut down when they are upset, while others explode and say everything that is on their minds. Other people avoid conflict at all costs and have a difficult time sharing their feelings.
There is no right or wrong way to communicate-just differences that should be addressed in a relationship. For example, are you a talker? Do you love chatting about everything under the sun and obsessing over the small details from the day? That’s great, but if the person you’re seeing is more on the quiet side and doesn’t enjoy small talk, you might want to pick up the phone and call a friend instead.
When arguments occur it’s important to communicate in the way that is best for the relationship, not for your own personal satisfaction. It might be tempting to get mad at your partner and call him terrible names, or completely give him the silent treatment (which doesn’t seem like communication, but it definitely is) but are these behaviors doing your relationship any favors? Is being rude and mean bringing you together as a couple or pushing you further apart? When arguments arise, don’t be afraid to share your feelings. Just keep it respectful and most importantly, loving. This isn’t a war, it’s a bump in the road and if you handle it the right way, you will come out of the fight a stronger and more in love couple than you went into it.
- 7 Facts To Consider Before Moving In Together (dangerouslee.biz)
- Are You and Your Partner Compatible in the Dimensions of Intimacy? (psychologytoday.com)
- Is Lack of Communication a Red Flag? (psychcentral.com)
- How to Enhance Closeness in Your Relationship (psychologytoday.com)
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship (everydayhealth.com)
- Basics for a Good Relationship (ejaife.wordpress.com)
- Gay Relationships: “The Insecure Partner” – Part 1 (gaytwogether.typepad.com)
- Love And Relationship (thecrazyyouth.wordpress.com)
- Research has shown that couples who argue more than twenty percent of the time are probably not going to survive. (scott-williams.ca)