Top Story – What To Do If Your Man is Jealous and Possessive

Jealous and possessive men are a common problem for women on the dating scene. When this type of man finds that special woman, they can develop insecurity about whether they can hold on to her or whether they even deserve her. In response, they try to subjugate their special lady in an effort make her feel dependent.

As social and economic factors are making it an increasingly demanding and, at times, confusing times to be a man, more men are feeling the crunch on their self-esteem, which can exacerbate this kind of controlling behavior. So, women need to be on the lookout for these toxic partners more than ever here. Here are some of the red flags that make it easier to spot a potentially jealous and possessive man.

Unrealistic expectations for his partner and relationship

In the early stages of dating, you begin to get a sense of how your love interest views relationships. Does he seem to believe the right woman will immediately flip his life from wrong to right? Has he discussed a laundry list of characteristics for his ideal woman that go on for miles? These can be signs of a man who expects a lot from a woman, and whose lofty expectations can translate into extremely possessive behavior down the road.

Sour talk of his old flames

Most people have had one or two relationships that ended poorly. However, if all talk of his exes are diatribes about their failings, and if he brings up the subject somewhat often, you should tread lightly. Chances are he has a tendency to see himself as always being right, which is a mark of many possessive men. And if his temper flares when talking about whom his exes are dating now? He is probably prone to jealousy, too.

Little questions about your locations and phone habits

Many men know it is in bad form to ask a deluge of questions about where you are and who you are talking to early in the game. However, possessive and jealous men usually manage to work at least a few of those inquiries in within the first couple of dates. Sometimes those kinds of questions are legitimately innocent, but if you get several a day about where you are and who you are with, you could have a potentially toxic partner on your hands.

Devalues your ideas, work, and appearance

If the guy you’re seeing makes you feel down about yourself, you should get out that relationship. Expectations for receiving daily heaps of praise is one thing – not all men do that, even the great ones. However, you should feel comfortable and confident in yourself around the person you love; if you don’t, and your significant other is actively contributing to your feelings of inadequacy, it is probably time to move on.

Resorts to anger on a regular basis

Sometimes your partner will get angry. It happens and, if it is an occasional thing, it is perfectly normal. Where things get abnormal is if even tiny mistakes or misunderstandings elevate to full-blown rage. By bombarding a partner with such strong emotions regularly, it can contribute to feelings of dependency and an imbalance in power because, in order to circumvent the rage, you may adapt your behavior to suit the person with the temper. In that way, the person quick to anger controls his partner’s behavior.

Don’t get caught up in misplaced possession and jealousy in your relationship. By identifying red flags, you can spot dating trouble during the first few dates, and then can decide whether you want to pursue it further.

Guest post contributed on behalf of



  1. Wish I knew all this before I was suckered into dating one these kind of guys. Had no clue they existed. Never dealt with a psychopath like this. The Brutus I knew was all the red flags described here. He had a huge laundry list on what his exes didnt do right. That list then became my list. He was the most abusive freaky guy ever! Jealousy was hideous and his anger was scary. What a mess I was involved in for years. At this point I am disgusted with myself for falling for such a loser. Girls don’t waste any precious time of your own life for a man with these traits. There are plenty of better guys who don’t have these kind of issues.

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