Sometimes the chicks just don’t get it. You’re the best thing going, but they’ve got these wacky thoughts about love. You do the spadework, you even talk with them, but they just can’t see that you’re the man – yeah its weird. Anyway I’m gonna help you out. You take my advice that I’m writing for you now and you’re in. Guaranteed. (If you’re looking for a different take on love check this out!)

• Muscles: get massive. The chicks love massive biceps. Putting in the hard work at the gym is so much of the battle. It makes me laugh that people don’t realize that. You gotta wear the right clothes though. Not singlets – too obvious. A muscle tee is the go. Here’s another tip you probably wouldn’t have thought of: lats. Yeah lats. Get ‘em huge and then you can sort of flex ‘em whenever she’s looking at you. Killer.

• Tats: You got ink, you got respect. I didn’t know myself until I got my sleeve.  Tribal pattern. The girls, they always ask what they mean. I dunno, but I make her look close, then I just flex my bicep and she don’t care no more.

• Body hair: A few visits to the clinic and now I’m as smooth as my little lady.

• Cologne: Not that sissy stuff. Do it properly – get on the internet and buy some of that ‘pheromone’ gear.  It may smell a bit funny, but it’s scientific, like dogs on heat and that.

• Sub-woofer: your ride needs a sub-woofer that fills the boot. When you turn that house music way up and the pulse hits her, man, she gonna shake like a poodle in my pit-bull’s mouth. She going to be clinging to you like she going to drown.

They’re the bits, but it’s like a recipe – you still gotta put them together. Here’s how it works: get her into your ride, close the windows and crank the woofer up. The bass is turning her brain to jello, the pheromones are kicking in, and all she can see is your huge tribal bicep, and its smooth man, so smooth. It’s a recipe man, and that cake your baking – well its called love. You give her this treatment and it’s a done deal. It is job done my man, job done.

You follow my advice your going to have more women fallin’ in love with you you know what to do with, so next week I’m gonna tell you how to lose ‘em when you don’t want em no more. 

About The Author: Jason is what you call a searcher. He is searching for answers to the bigger questions on this planet.