Why you put an end to your relationship with his Dad is probably one of the biggest questions on your child’s mind. The answer may seem so simple to you, but you have to be careful with your response. In reality, the first response may be no (verbal) response, but rather through action. If your relationship with your ex was a rocky and tumultuous one, simply allowing your child a peaceful atmosphere at home and demonstrating that this has made for a healthier home life is one very simple way you can demonstrate the need to split.
Dealing with the questions of ‘why’ will certainly be your first hurdle, but what happens when you meet someone new? New relationships when children are involved can be quite challenging. One challenge you’re almost certain to face is when you finally found the guy whom you think is someone that destiny wants you to be with and it’s time to introduce them to your child(ren). Your child is not likely to be fond of this new guy in right off the bat. In fact, it’s not uncommon for them to react rather negatively at first. Here are some tips to help you conquer this awkward stage.
Introduce them in the right moment.
Do not try to hide things of this nature from your son or daughter. Kids are smarter now and there’s nothing you can hide from them. It’ll be best if they learn about it directly from you than from someone else and in the correct moment. Springing announcements on them unplanned can be a recipe for disaster. Having a well thought out delivery can make or break the moment. Put some thought into the event – because that’s what it is to them. Doing so can help make it clear that this is not just a guy you met in a bar or someone you have a fleeting interest in. If they are, you shouldn’t be introduced to your child to begin with. Explain that you are seeing this guy because he is nice, respectful and honest. Let your child know that the man has heard all about them and can’t wait to meet them – because they are so important to you.
Be open and plan ahead with your new guy, too.
Invite your guy to come over to your place. Be honest and tell him outright that your child is likely to treat him coldly. Ask him not to feel offended by it and seek for his cooperation so both of you will exert a great deal of effort to win your child’s favorable regard to your relationship. Reduce the awkwardness of the scenario by carrying out fun activities during your visitor’s stay. Watch some movies and prepare snacks. There should always be something to talk about. Leave the two of them for a few minutes to give your child a chance if there’s anything that he wants to say to the guest.
Make your guy a semi-regular visitor until your child gets used to his presence. Eat out or go to movies with them to make the bond tighter. If all goes well, they will soon become friends and before you know it the most important people in your life may very well be best buddies!
Don’t assume; Just ask.
Don’t assume that if your child is having a great time with your guy they necessarily approve whole-heartedly. Enjoying your new guy’s company and letting him take the place of his father in your life are entirely different issues. Enlighten your child that no one can substitute their dad and that’s not the purpose of your new relationship. Hopefully, your ex will always have a special place in your heart and in your child’s life, but it’s it’s simply moved beyond a romantic relationship. Explain that your child’s dad will soon find a woman that’s perfect for him and that you have to be with your match, too.