What to Do When Your Child Lacks a Father Figure

The family unit is the building block for most societies on this planet. Studies have shown that the family is one of the major contributors to a child’s development and is responsible for creating a responsible citizen in the future. However, not all children have experienced living in a complete and happy home. In fact, a number of children grow up without having a father. Of course, the time will come when your child will be exposed to some behavioral changes which are caused by their need for having a father figure. Are you dealing with this kind of situation, too? Here are some ideas you might want to consider if your son or daughters lacks a father figure. 

The Significance of a Father’s Role 

Supposedly, fathers are considered as the strongest pillar in the home. They must be the head of the family; and they are responsible for meeting the needs of their family. Ideally, these are the major and vital roles of a father:

The Breadwinner

Fathers are the breadwinners in the family. They are responsible for meeting the basic needs of the family, among which are food, shelter and clothing. Although the mothers can also do this, it is still the father’s primary role in the family. 

The Disciplinarian 

Fathers are also known as the disciplinarian. They must set firm rules for the members of the family to abide by. Although their primary role is to provide for the needs of the family, especially in terms of financial matters, they must also work hand-in-hand with their better half (the mothers) to take good care, love and discipline their children at the same time. 

Basically, children who grow up with a complete set of parents have a greater chance of becoming successful in life. On the other hand, children who grow up without a father are more prone to disorders, either mental or emotional.  But this is not to say that children who grow up in a dysfunctional family have lesser chances of becoming successful.

What to do When Your Son Needs a Father Figure

Normally, single mothers will have observed some behavioral changes in their children as they grew older. At times, they are so gentle and may suddenly become rude and harsh. For sure, you have experienced some mood swings of your children, right? There are lots of possible causes for their misbehavior; and one of them is their need for a father figure. 

You might notice that your son wants to be with their uncle or grandfather a lot. This is one of the most obvious signs that they are longing for fatherly attention which they can’t find from their mother. In addition, they may show some negative behavior, like not listening to your instructions and just doing the things they wish to do. Furthermore, you might sense that they want to test your authority by opposing your decisions and the likes. So, what should you do? Consider these tips: 

Love them always. 

A mother’s love is very powerful that it is capable of filling in their longing for a father. Truth to tell, love is powerful enough to heal any wound and heartache. Some people even say, “Love is the most important and the most effective way to tame a lion.” 

Stay positive. 

Studies show that reverse psychology is effective in handling your children. If they act negatively, you need to be on the positive side. Don’t be too harsh on them because it will only worsen the situation. Just remember that you are mature and knowledgeable compared to them. 

Let them experience what it feels like to have a father. 

If you are in good terms with your ex, let your son spend some time with their biological father. However, if it’s not possible to let them spend their father-and-son moments together, think of an effective alternative that will enable your son to experience and enjoy the feeling of having a father. Let them spend time with their uncles and grandfather. If you are dating someone and you feel that your relationship is ready to bring to the next level, then you may want to slowly introduce him into your son’s life so your son’s need for a father figure may also be addressed.

Author Bio: Daniel Ruyter is a single parent, too, and is also the fouder of Memoirs of a Single Dad and author of the dating rules book, Memoirs of a Dating Dad.


  1. Single parenting has become commonplace in our modern world to the extent that nobody even blinks an eye about it. The impact, however, from being raised in a primarily one parent family and one that is often devoid of a consistant father figure can affect a child in many ways as they grow up.

  2. Where are the supporting arguments? Where are the studies that prove what’s been written? Other than conjecture, which in this case is highly biased, where is the proof, the facts? The nuclear family is a bygone tradition best left in the 50’s. This is simply archaic, sexist, and most of all psychologically inaccurate.

Tell me something good!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s