Image by: Ben Sutherland
OK, we’re all a little obsessed with disaster movies. Whether your apocalyptic film of choice is The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, I am Legend or The Road we love the thrill of watching something entirely fictional, that, somewhere along the line might become reality.
So, if the world started freezing over/a killer virus started spreading/the dead started walking/aliens invaded/an asteroid hit the earth, what would you do? Sit in the corner of your bedroom, rocking back and forth, or grab your pre-packed emergency backpack and get the hell outta there?
Obviously, you would grab your pre-packed emergency backpack. How else are you going to survive?
And here’s what it should contain.
This amazing little invention can last for 15 years on one AA battery. It’s not fancy, doesn’t have a screen, and you have to either pre-program or memorise numbers – but if you do that you’re all set. It doesn’t have IVM and I know it’s no iPhone, but it’ll last 13,140 times longer on average (actual calculation).
2. 2 Way Radio
You might just end up permanently mournfully listening to an emergency broadcast, a la The Walking Dead, but if you want to know if there’s anyone out there, this is the only way.
3. A Weapon
Preferably not a gun (the zombies will come running if you shoot that thing, fool). Better make it an axe or a sword. Or a Samurai sword… At least you’ll look awesome chopping the walkers heads off.
As we well know, clean water is almost impossible to come by after an apocalypse. Make sure you have a good few litres of bottled water packed – beware the infection in the waterways!
5. Space Food
Yes, we know those freeze-dried ice cream blocks are horrendous, but they’re a hell of a lot lighter to carry around than tins of hotdogs and baked beans. When you have to trek several hundred thousand miles to Africa, you’ll thank me.
And lots of ‘em. Unless you can do the caveman party trick and make sparks with flint, matches are your best hope of keeping warm, dry and fed. Just don’t let those aliens/zombies see the smoke…
7. Duct Tape
When in doubt, use duct tape. Great for sticking gashes back together, as handcuffs for those that just can’t keep sane, and for mending holes in a boat when you need to make that cross-channel journey.
After the apocalypse we’re all going to need a bit of cheering up. Plus it’s warming. And you can disinfect a wound with it. See, multipurpose!
Of the legal kind, of course. Actually, the best thing to do would be to raid a pharmacy as the disaster’s happening. Maybe take the pharmacists handbook as well, because I’ve got no idea what 99% of the pills would do to you either.
10. Friend with a Well-Stocked Bomb Shelter
And make sure it’s not one of those flimsy corrugated iron things either. I’m talking underground fortress, man. Of course, you can’t pack the friend or the bomb shelter, but as soon as you notice things going awry, get the hell there. Make sure there’s food and entertainment, and you’re sitting pretty for the next few years.
Guest Blogger – James Duval is an IT specialist who is addicted to his Xbox. Given the choice, he would rather spend his days roaring around the world on his motorbike seeing the greatest architecture the globe has to offer. He’ll always be prepared for the impending apocalypse. Currently, he writes for Optilead.