Spring is nearly here. Spring, the real “new year,” never mind what the calendar says. Spring, the season of renewal, rebirth, the time of starting over.

Is it time for you to make a new start?

There are so many areas in which you might want to refresh your attitude, your outlook, or even your procedures. Let’s start with your attitude toward men or marriage. If you’re divorced or never married, do you have a jaundiced outlook? Maybe you’ve had a bad experience. (Possibly you’ve even had several.) But that doesn’t mean all men are bad or all marriages are horror stories. Consider the possibility that, in this season of renewal, it’s time to try again.

On the other hand, maybe you currently have a man in your life. Maybe that man fits you comfortably like an old shoe, gets along with your kids, and makes no demands on you. He doesn’t, however, excite you in any sense of the word, and you unequivocally don’t love him. He’s almost a habit, a pleasant habit but no one you want a long-term future with. Dating him is keeping you from striking out in search of someone better, someone you could build a future with, could love, could find true happiness with. Letting go of him could be uncomfortable and is likely to hurt him…but think of the possibilities you open yourself up to when you free yourself to look elsewhere and find your Mr. Right. 

Now let’s look at your attitude toward your kids. Unquestionably you love them, and just as unquestionably they sometimes drive you nuts. It’s a given. All kids drive their parents nuts at times, and when you’re parenting single-handedly, the stress is that much greater. But have you fallen into a bad situation in which you view the kids as your adversaries in the game of life? Is your life a continual battle to outwit, outmaneuver, and simply outlast your kids? If you start seeing them as opponents, it’s going to negatively color the way you feel about them and the way you relate to them.

What about your work situation? It may be time to refresh that too. Did you take a lower-paying job three years ago when you got divorced because it allowed you to be home when your kids got home from school? Are your kids now old enough to come home by themselves to an empty house…and are you still in that same low-paying (or simply unsatisfying) job out of force of habit? Time to take a fresh look. Time to make a fresh start.

Now, what about your friends? Are your needs in friendship being met by your current friends? Or are you still friends with only the people you were friendly with when you were half of a couple? Or only with the mothers of your kids’ friends? If either of these is true, isn’t it time you got a new crop of friends, especially people who are in a similar situation to yours—other single moms (and maybe a few single dads, too). Not that there’s anything wrong with making friends with people who aren’t single parents, or aren’t parents at all. Diversification is a good thing, and making friends with someone who shares your interest in rare books or classic philosophy or politics or Oriental cooking can be a good thing regardless of whether this person is another solo mom, or a childless man, or a woman twice your age.

Next, let’s look at something seemingly superficial: your appearance. Yes, “beauty is only skin deep,” but what you see when you look in the mirror profoundly influences the way you feel about yourself. If you look plain, dumpy, unpolished, or otherwise unattractive, you’re going to cultivate a low self-image as a result. You may know, deep down, that you’re an intelligent and interesting person, but if day after day you look at yourself in the mirror and see someone unattractive, that’s the way you’re going to think of yourself. I’m not suggesting you turn yourself into June Cleaver, dusting the house while wearing pearls, but neither do you need to leave yourself looking unnecessarily plain, sloppy, totally un-made-up, or drab. Even if you don’t expect anyone but your kids to see you that day, you are going to see yourself in the mirror, and you’re the most important person of all to look good for.

Finally, is it time to make yourself a more interesting person—to the world at large and to yourself? Consider taking up a new hobby, taking a class, or involving yourself in some new endeavor. Possibilities for new endeavors include starting a new home-based business—perhaps something you can start on a very small scale as a sideline, while you continue at your current job, and build up bit by bit. You also might, if you have the time, consider getting involved in a charitable or other volunteer endeavor. Most communities’ schools and libraries are hungry for volunteers, so if there’s no charity whose work you especially want to support, you need look no further than your local schools or library. Becoming a museum docent is another possibility, and one that may afford such bonuses as free museum admission. Your local theatre may use the services of volunteer ushers, who then get to see the plays for free. As for taking classes, while the spring semester at most colleges and in the community education division of most local public schools has already started, there are other institutions offering classes whose schedules may not hew so closely to the calendar. Check with your local Y or JCC, your community’s Recreation Department or Leisure Services Department, and even your local library. Read the local paper or, more likely, any weekly publication in your area for listings of classes given by individuals or small enterprises. And don’t overlook online classes. “Virtual classrooms” and “distance learning” can offer anything from uncredited classes all the way to studies leading to a bona fide college degree. (Be wary, however, of uncredentialed institutions offering degrees or certificates that, if not outright bogus, at least carry no weight in the business world.)

Well, there’s a smorgasbord of suggestions for ways to make a fresh start in various aspects of your life. Spring is almost here. Spring—the real “new year,” the season of renewal. How are you going to improve your life?