A new California law prevents the production or sale of beer that has had caffeine added to it. This law specifically addresses beer that has had caffeine added as a separate ingredient, not beer brewed with coffee or coffee beans.
Before I address this completely preposterous law, I think it is fair game to question the very thing that promoted the law to begin with – beer and caffeine…mixed together? That just does not sound like a great combination. Call me conservative, but I do not think mixing two mood-altering, addictive substances into one beverage is a good idea. Aside from college students who don’t want to lose their buzz by dozing off, or who need to pull multiple all-nighters, I can’t think of anyone who would be attracted to this disgusting concoction.
Alright, now that’s out of the way, let’s get to the real issue at hand: California law makers wasting more precious time and tax dollars on the creation of another unnecessary law. Looks like the “Don’t Mix Beer and Caffeine” law will take its place on the shelf alongside some of California’s other ludicrous laws, including:
• Bowling on the sidewalk is illegal in Chico
I wonder how many pedestrians had to be knocked over by a bowling ball before law makers felt it necessary to add this one to the books?
• In San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe off cars in a car wish with a pair of used underwear
I cannot even begin to imagine the events that took place for this law to be thought of, let alone added to the books… or maybe I just don’t want to.
• Dogs and cats aren’t allowed to have sex in Ventura County without a permit
I’d love to see the county sheriff try to reinforce this law at my local dog park. It’s like a rest stop bathroom there most days.
• Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits of Chico will result in a $500 fine
Do I even need to state the obvious here? First, it’s not like any John Q. Citizen can get his hands on a nuclear device. I’m pretty sure they didn’t teach that in high school chemisty. Next, if a nuclear device is detonated, the blast effect would kill millions of people, and those not killed by the blast will likely die of radiation poisoning. So, yeah, good thinking, Chico law makers – a $500 fine will fix ‘em good.
• In Indian Wells, it is illegal for a trumpet player to play his instrument with the intention of luring someone to a store
I’m fairly certain that trumpets don’t have the same affect on people that magic pipes have on mice and children.
• In Belvedere, no dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash
In all fairness, I can see the reason behind this law. I’m pretty sure most dogs wouldn’t want their owners to run away.
On second thought, outlawing a mix of beer and caffeine seems pretty normal.