Ask Dangerous Lee – I’m on the verge of hating Black women

Q: I’m on the verge of hating black women. My ex wife is using my daughter as a pawn. She refuses to let me see my daughter and now I have given up. I don’t want anything to do with my daughters or black women. Why do black women love men who abuse them and treat them bad?

This woman knows I love both of my daughters. She has turned my oldest daughter against me. My ex is bitter because I left the marriage after she stopped sleeping with me. She’s upset with me because I tried to be a man and got angry with her when she messed up our finances. She will tell you I have a temper. True I do, but when it’s necessary. I even put myself in anger management. They said I didn’t belong there. I’m really angry now and this goes back to my mother. I can understand why a black man goes and gets himself a BECKY once he becomes rich.

I tried my best to be a good father, but this woman keeps trying to push the envelope with me. I now understand why some men beat their women. I’m pissed! Can you possibly explain to me what may be floating around in my ex wife’s head being that you are a black woman?

Clint C. Brantley

New York City

A:  Based on what you have to say it’s your ex wife that you hate, not all black women. You only think you hate all black women, but that’s your frustration and inner turmoil talking. If you truly hated black women you would not be asking for my opinion. Your ex wife is black, so you project your hate towards her on other black women as well.

Also, because you have issues with your mother, the woman who gave you life, your mind won’t allow you to see black woman in a positive light. Ask yourself this question; If your ex wife was white would you hate all white women? The answer is important, but it’s also important to think about how ridiculous it would be to hate all of anything or anyone just because you’ve had a bad experience with a few. Ever hear of racism? I also want you to understand that hating black women also means that you hate yourself.

Seriously think about getting some therapy so that you can be a positive role model for your daughters. Hatred is taught, and your actions and attitude towards them may cause them to grow up hating black men.

Got questions?


  1. Thanks… It will… Thanks for being honest with me… I respect your opinion…

  2. Thanks DL,
    Your answer speaks volumes… My hatred for my ex wife is only part of the reason. I had an ex girlfriend after my divorce and we lived together for five years and then facebook happened and she gave up on me just when we were making advances on getting married… I don’t know, maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s the women I choose. I hang with my nine year old daughter almost every day when I’m not interviewing. She is the love of my life… I show her love everyday, but, her mother is trying to keep her away from me. She uses all kinds of tricks that really gets my blood boiling. Sometimes I want to do my ex some bodily harm, but that won’t solve my problem, it would create another….Now if I was like most black men and didn’t a shit about my daughters, she would be banging my door down to get me to see my daughters… My ex-wife is vindictive. She knows i love my daughters. she knows I would do anything for them. She is upset because I left the marriage… I left because she stop sleeping with me and wanted to hang more with her girlfriends who all are not married or have children. I didn’t want to cheat and bring that crap in my home. I never had a problem with her hanging out with her friends. I even encouraged it, but it became a problem when they started wanting her to take exotic trips with them and we didn’t have the capital to allow it. Now she wants to portray me as a bad guy… she got my oldest daughter to believe that I am a bad person and now she’s trying to do the same with our youngest… This hatred I feel is coming from black women giving up on me… My mother made it clear to me when I was young that black women want men with money… Well, I’m struggling right now… I just went through the divorce that damn near broke me financially… Then I was left with my ex-wife tax bill… I’ll never file joint again… My point here DL is that I have tried to be the type of man that most women black or white would want a man to be. I just keep getting let down when times becomes challenging…

    Thanks for your advice… I’m already in therapy dealing with this and other issues…

    Clint B

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