PART ONE
Take a look at my friend Katie Burrell:
Is Katie Black? Is Katie White?
Katie’s ethnic background will be revealed at a later date, but carefully look at her face, study her features and skin tone because she is my poster child for this series. More pictures of Katie will be shown later.
-Oooh, her daddy must be White or High Yellow!
-Your daughter is beautiful! She looks nothing like you. (Yes, in the same breath.)
-She must look just like her daddy.
-Is that your daughter?
-Is your daughter Mexican?
Over the past eight years the above things have all been said to or asked of me because of my daughter. I am a Black woman and I have a child by a White man. Those words once bothered me when my daughter was a baby, but I am used to it now and I respond accordingly with a healthy amount of venom in my tone.
When I found out I was carrying a baby by a White man I wasn’t happy. There is a long story behind this that will be shared with you in my memoirs one day, but one of the reasons is the fact that I knew I was going to have to deal with all these insulting questions and statements. And, the staring…oh gawd, people could win staring contests when they see a dark skinned Black women with a child that appears White or is more than a few shades lighter.
I also worried that I would not know how to or be able to deal with raising a biracial child. It may seem ridiculous to you, but I really thought about what type of things I would have to teach her about her background and how to deal with people liking or disliking her because of things like her skin tone or her hair texture. I also worried that she would be different than me and that she would catch hell because of it.
I was right and I was wrong. I’m her mother. She has my DNA. I am raising her and I deal with any issues that may occur quite well. If she had come out half of whatever the hell Yoda is from Star Wars I would still love her lil’ brownish-green ass to death.
Ethnicity and color are not issues for me. They never have been. I love everyone and I dislike everyone. My feelings are equal opportunity. I won’t love you just because you’re Black and I won’t hate you just because you’re White. Like someone once said – “Just because you’re my color, it doesn’t mean you’re my kind.” Truer words have never been spoken.
For some odd and stupid ass reason many of us continue to be color struck. I really think most of us are ignorant or at the very least forgetful. Black people who look White is not a new phenomenon. Back in the day Black folks who appeared more White than Black “passed” all the time. Hell, some people are still passing today. There are some people that could pass but don’t like actress, Jennifer Beals, and my man, actor, Wentworth Miller.
Look at him:
- Wentworth Miller
Would you have guessed that Wentworth Miller has a Black parent? Well, he does! I first laid eyes on Wentworth in the film The Human Stain. The film is about a man who passes for Jewish, but is really Black. If you haven’t seen it, check it out. It’s a good flick! Anthony Hopkins plays Wentworth’s role as an older man. We all know Anthony Hopkins is not Black in any way, shape, or form, but I’m sure he was cast in the role to make a valid point, not all Black people appear “Black”.
Anyway, back to Wentworth; I fell in love as soon as I saw him on the screen. He is a beautiful man. I saw The Human Stain around the same time Prison Break started on the FOX network, so I became a groupie and began watching it every week thereafter.
Some of you who know me are laughing and probably saying,”Yea, she likes ‘em light, bright, and damn near White.” True, I do tend to go gaga more for light skinned men or mixed dudes. I guess I like the best of both worlds. Sue me! When Black and White come together it creates something beautiful. That’s not to say that when anyone else comes together that it’s ugly, so don’t go there, but I like what I like! There are no self hating reasons for it and I love chocolate brothas too. I like men! Period.
I can’t find one to make my boyfriend, but that’s another story.
Again, back to Wentworth, I was sprung after seeing him in The Human Stain, but when I read an interview where he explained that he is Black and just portrays a White man for TV, I fell in love. Why? Because he had the nerve, courage,and pride to reveal who he is despite the fact that he does not typically fit what most people perceive as a Black man.
My true inspiration for starting this series are Michael Jackson’s children:
- Prince, Paris, and “Blanket”
-Those are not his biological children.
-They look nothing like him or any of the other Jackson kids.
-Those kids are White.
-White never trumps Black. Never!
-Why is he trying to pass these White kids off as his children?
These are just a few of the ridiculous things I have heard aimed at Michael and his children. These comments upset me and I take them personally because as you have already read, I get some of the same ignorant reactions because of my daughter.
In the next part of the series I will get deeper into Michael’s children and the issues many people have when Black and White DNA come together to create a child that appears White.
In the meantime, let’s get back to Katie. Answer this poll:
For all the years I’ve known you, I didn’t know any details of your daughter’s dad. To be honest, I never thought much about it. She was your beautiful daughter and that was all that mattered.
Now knowing that her father is white still doesn’t matter to me. Maybe I’m just too far out of the loop, because I think that any child raised with love will do fine. I wasn’t even aware of the dark skin/light skin issue until it was explained to me.
I’ve thought a lot about why I spent a good part of my youth laying out in the sun to get tan. I think I believed it made me look healthier and more attractive. What does that all mean? Seriously.
Michael Jackson is the father of his children, always has been and always will be. It would never matter to me if they were or weren’t biologically his.
Many years ago I read a book called “Black Like Me” . It was shocking, appalling and very educational to me. Should be on the reading list of every human who doesn’t get the race issue.
Very interesting topic girl.
I’m going to shut up now.
I love the feedback. No need to shut up. Thanks for commenting.
Growing up I didn’t hear about “black and white” people, who’s who and the color issue some people have problems with. I think I can thanks my mother to that.
Not until later when I got my first boyfriend, He was native american/african. It’s a sad story, but I experienced very close other peoples issues by us being together.
One of our neighbors, who was white, had two children. One girl and a boy. The girl had blue eyes and blond hair. The boy had brown eyes, black hair and darker skin. I remember everyone thought that the boy weren’t their kid, or that the mother must have had an affair with someone from the middle east.
The boy got nicknamed “pakistani”, although he was not.
Thanks for the quote “Just because you’re my color it doesn’t mean you’re my kind.” That is so very true.
The comment “just because you’re my color doesn’t mean you’re my kind” was me as a Black woman saying that just because someone is also Black doesn’t mean that we can relate. I do see the context that you’re using it in and that is true also. Someone could have my skin tone and be Asian or Hispanic.
i was beginning to reckon i would possibly end up being the sole woman / man who cared about this, at the very least currently i recognize i’m not loco
i am going to make sure to find out more about various various other articles when i get a tad of caffeine in me, it can be hard to read with out my coffee, take care 
I was watching prison break years ago during the first season of the show. I was a couple of episodes in and I was looking at Wentworth Miller and something just kind of clicked when I looked at his face and I thought “wait a minute, is he part black?” So I looked it up and found the results and I was right! Something about the size of his features, his nose and his mouth and even the shape of his head just looked black to me. So to answer your quesiton, yes I would definitely look at him and think that guy is black! Not so much with the straight hair pic, there is a pic of him on the web with natural afro hair.
I hope there is html here but if not copy and paste the link and see.
http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2007/01/wentworth-miller-chest-hair.jpg
Guess the link didn’t post but here is the pic of him.
Thanks for your input. I agree that there are some tell tell features for many multi-ethnic people. I remember when Mariah Carey first came on the scene, people didn’t think she was Black. I also recall that many people were shocked when they found out Halle Berry has a White mother.
Excellent post and i agree with you 100%
Great post. I appriciate when people take the time to write quality articles.
can i get more of this?
Part two is coming soon.
Well, I’m actually curious to know how come I observe lots of Asian ladies dating white men nowadays, but I’ve rarely observed an Asian guy dating a white female. What is the reason for this?
People can date who they want to date. Why is this an issue for you? You’re totally missing the point of my blog.
[...] Part One: http://dangerouslee.biz/2010/02/20/the-half-series/ [...]
Hello may I reference some of the insight here in this entry if I provide a link back to your site?
Absolutely! Thanks
I’ve been living in Asia for three years so I find this interesting. I am curious to know what you think about dating Asian women, as far as how well they adjust to moving to a Western country. I’ve thought about bringing my Indonesian girlfriend back to Germany with me but I am not sure if she would adjust to the new environment. I’m wondering if anyone here has experience with dating Asian women overseas and bringing them to another country?
I believe I made my thoughts very clear in this article.
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
nice. this blog is getting updates?
Thanks! Part three will be posted soon.
[...] The Half Series – Part 1 [...]
Very helpful , I am truly happy with all details.
I still don’t understand why skin color is such an issue. It isn’t the color of your skin it is the color of your heart and that can be black. If you have a good heart then you are a good person. It is more how you are raised then what you look like. I have seen some very beautiful biracial people. I think it makes them unique.
been visiting ur website for 3 days. absolutely love your posts. by the way i am doing report regarding this issue. do you know any other great sites or perhaps forums that I might learn more? many thanks.
Thanks for visiting. I’m sure if you Google “Interracial relationships”, “mixed children”, or other things of that nature many informative links will appear. Good luck!
[...] The Half Series – When Black People Look White #1 February 2010 27 comments 3 [...]
I cannot believe I came across this website. I suffer from the same nonsense. I’m black and my husband is white. I have two daughters, a son, and 7 months pregnant with a boy. My children look nothing like me, except for the almond-shaped eyes. They can easily pass for white. They have fine noses, thin lips, very pale skin, long wavy red hair, blueish/green eyes, and freckles. I get so furious when i’m with them, and my hubby isn’t with us. I live in upper Manhattan, NY, and people perceive me to be their nanny. I’m a dark complected woman, but my mom is multi-racial (Jewish/Irish/Kittitian) and she’s very fear with spiral red hair and freckles, and my dad is very dark (Bajan/Cherokee). I’m tired of explaining the reason my children look white. I have to literally, whip out my mom’s photo’s and family pictures for the clueless to understand. My husband tells me who cares what they think. These are our babies and that’s all that matters. But he can walk down the street with them without a question. I look like the nanny or a black woman stealing some white woman’s children. I’ve learned to ignore the questions, and the stares. Black comes in all shades. My children are living proof.
I’m glad you found me. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s a shame that you have to pull out photos of your family for people. People of different backgrounds coming together and making babies is nothing new, and it is also nothing new for the children to look more White than Black or vice versa. Makes me sick!
I got the same “problem” really, My son is blond and have blue eyes. But his twin sister is darker and with curly brown hair.
I have to say it was a bit of as shock for me, because I’m a very dark skinned 100% black woman. But my husband is Swedish and his genes really shines through.
I don’t really get that many people who care about my children or me in Sweden, its mostly black people comes with stupid comments. But now when I brought my children to visit my home country of South Africa for the first time a few weeks ago. Oh boy. Everyone was staring at me, thinking I was just a domestic worker who brought her employees children to the township or kidnapped them or something.
Heck if i did not say anything when they ask they would probably think they were albino instead of colored..
Thanks for sharing. People can be really ridiculous, but some are just curious. When it comes to twins that are conceived through an “inter-racial” union your children’s appearance differences are really quite normal.
Well. Women are curious for the most part. Men are down right mean.
They have no problem telling me EXACTLY what they think mixing up our blood. Mixed race couples ain’t exactly common and the one drop rule does not exist there at all. Half black = not black in my country even if you look black.
It’s true about the twin part. I’ve seen lots of example on the web.. TBH I find it so cute.
Wow! Half Black equals not Black at all? Very interesting indeed. And, yes, men are usually more stern in their hatred in many ways, so it does not surprise me that you have experienced some mean men in regards to your children.
Nope not black. They called mixed people coloured in my country and its very clear if your mixed your coloured not black, not even by law. But coloured people are usually proud of all of their ancestors.
IE, if you ask and if they can explain they usually tells you what they are. Xhosa (black), European, Malay etc…
Oh btw I’ve added your link ^^
Wow, great topic DL! There is suppose to be another small independent movie that talks about this beat to death topic. It saddnes me in 2011 that skin tones and hair textures defines the standard of beauty STILL in 2011. Sometimes it feels like we’re living on a slave plantation, but it’s all in our minds. I blame a big deal of this on the media and how they constantly portray light skin, straight hair and light eyes women and men as the only standard of beauty. This can be so far from the truth.
I went to high school with this girl and she had a very dark skin complexion but I tell you guys, she was one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen. She looked literally like a black barbie doll. Tall with the straightest whitest teeth and the perfect face. I envied her because all the guys loved her and yes, she was dark and beautiful. My only wish is that we can accept each other no matter what race or skin tone we are.
Ultimately, we are not 100% “pure” anyway. My boyfriend at first glance looks straight African-American, but once you look at him closer, you can see his multi-racial background. He’s black, asian AND puerto-rican and I don’t love him any less. So once we have children and out of nowhere our child(ren) look like any of the nationalities above, I could careless because in the end, we are only one race and that’s the human race. Society needs to stop showcasing light and bright as the only level of beauty and no matter what shade we are we must love ourselves. Well in an ideal world I would hope for this…
my sin doen not have qhite parents, But looks white. I am multi racial aNarive american african american and white my sons father is mexican. my son has green eyes fair skin hair that is straight when short. Every one thinks he’s white.
sorry about the typo I dont type well I meant my sone does not have white parents.
As I say in this series, you never know what can happen with DNA. Thanks for sharing!
[...] Read The Half Series Share this:TwitterFacebookStumbleUponDiggPrintRedditLinkedInEmailLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. [...]
.
Listed below are links to data on the Historical MYTH
of a Color-Based / Slave-Role HIERARCHY — as well
as the Urban LEGEND of Paper-Bag, Blue-Vein and
Other Allegations of Features-Based Entry ‘TESTS’:
.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4153
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4154
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/2885
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/2511
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/1400
.
ONLINE LINEAGE-DISCUSSION GROUPS / COMMUNITIES:
.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MGM-Mixed
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FGM-Mixed
http://www.youtube.com/user/APGifts
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Thanks for sharing.
Awesome website…
[...]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[...]……
Its funny how many people believe race is based on appearance. I’m lighter than most mixed children with fairly small lips, a normal sized nose and curly hair. I’m least 65% black, or by American standards fully black. People are just completely dumbfounded when I tell them I’m not mixed or Hispanic. People really need to be more educated in genetics.
I totally agree. People need to be more educated on lots of things!
As a black man, I have to say that I am disturbed by these websites. I think black people are more obsessed with color than whites. i am black and proud to be black, but calling a spade a spade when it doesn’t look like a spade is insane. My wife (who is also black and visibly black like myself) make fun of blacks who are always saying that biracial, octoroons, etc are black. Black is also a cultural experience. Wentworth looks white. He may have black blood but in the hood he would be looked at as white. The notion of white looking blacks is an oxymoron. Rashida Jones is half black but plays a white girl cause no one if buying her as a black woman. Enough with the one drop rule people. Its kinda sad. Its like we are trying to make everyone black. A wide nose can also be an Asian feature. I have seen articles online like “Suspected Mulatto” and Celebrities Passing for white were blacks are calling out everyone from John Travolta, to Marilyn Monroe, to Chloe Sevigny, Minnie Driver, Christina Applegate, Elizabeth Berkeley to name a few. One brother said Lily Taylor looks like a light skinned negro. Stop it people. Be black, be proud and let people be what they are. Not everyone is hiding or trying to pass. And even if someone may look like that have mixed blood, so what? Its their business. Only in this country do people who look white get called black. Sad. It doesn’t make us any less black so whats the point? And alot of sistas and brothas this in its sad too.
oops, meant think its sad.
You said: “Wentworth looks white. He may have black blood but in the hood he would be looked at as white.” The point is that he is not White, it doesn’t matter what he looks like. That’s the point! Anyway, thanks for reading and responding.
Okay, but the point is why does it matter? Why are black people so obsessed with color? I have a black friend who said she likes to point out the “otherness in whites.” If someone wants to claim they are black, thats great. But I don’t see our obsession with having to find it in everyone. You don’t think its a bit ridiculous? I’m not being confrontational, I am curious and I know alot of blacks who feel the way I do. Alot of blacks have white in them or we would all look life pure Africans with very dark skin and so many of us have caucasian features. Why is it so serious?
It’s not just Black folks that are obsessed with color. However, I think it may be an issue for Black people because so many of us have tried to “pass” or are dealing with self hatred, but the point of the series was to point out that it doesn’t matter.